SelfHelpJunction

Learning from Everyone!!

2011-02-21T06:05:00.001-08:00

It's easy to forget sometimes that everyone has a story to tell if we take the time to listen. We are so accustomed to hearing the stories of people in the news that we sometimes lose track of the fact that the random stranger on the bus also has a fascinating story about where they came from and how they got to be where they are. The sheer variety of paths taken in this world, from farmers to CEOs to homeless people to world travelers, is indicative of how much we can learn from each individual. Sometimes the shy, quiet person at work has the most amazing life story and the biggest dreams, it is up to us to take the time to find out.

Some people travel a path of wealth and privilege, while others struggle with only themselves to rely on, and both have great stories to tell. Each person learns lessons, makes choices, and develops a unique perspective, which only they can claim and share. Even two people who have had very similar lives will have slightly different experiences, leading them to a different point of view, so each person remains a treasure trove waiting to be explored. When we take the time to ask questions and listen, we find that every person has a fascinating story to tell and an utterly unique perspective from which to tell it.

Bearing this in mind, we have the opportunity to approach the world around us in a new way. There is never any reason to be bored at a party, or on the bus, or in a conversation with a stranger. When we retain the spark of curiosity and the warmth required to open someone up, we always have in front of us the makings of a great story. All we have to do is ask.

Time Management

2010-04-06T05:57:00.000-07:00

Do you feel the need to be more organized and/or more productive? Do you spend your day in a frenzy of activity and then wonder why you haven't accomplished much?

Time management skills are especially important for small business people, who often find themselves performing many different jobs during the course of a single day. These time management tips will help you increase your productivity and stay cool and collected.

Time Management Tips

1) Realize that time management is a myth.

No matter how organized we are, there are always only 24 hours in a day. Time doesn't change. All we can actually manage is ourselves and what we do with the time that we have.

2) Find out where you're wasting time.

Many of us are prey to time-wasters that steal time we could be using much more productively. What are your time-bandits? Do you spend too much time 'Net surfing, reading email, or making personal calls? Tracking Daily Activities explains how to track your activities so you can form a accurate picture of what you actually do, the first step to effective time management.

3) Create time management goals.

Remember, the focus of time management is actually changing your behaviors, not changing time. A good place to start is by eliminating your personal time-wasters. For one week, for example, set a goal that you're not going to take personal phone calls while you're working.

4) Implement a time management plan.

The objective is to change your behaviors over time to achieve whatever general goal you've set for yourself, such as increasing your productivity or decreasing your stress. So you need to not only set your specific goals, but track them over time to see whether or not you're accomplishing them.

5) Use time management tools.

Whether it's a Day-Timer or a software program, the first step to physically managing your time is to know where it's going now and planning how you're going to spend your time in the future. A software program such as Outlook, for instance, lets you schedule events easily and can be set to remind you of events in advance, making your time management easier.

6) Prioritize ruthlessly.

You should start each day with a time management session prioritizing the tasks for that day and setting your performance benchmark. If you have 20 tasks for a given day, how many of them do you truly need to accomplish?

75 Questions to ask yourself!

2010-04-04T09:45:00.000-07:00

An old proverb says, “He that cannot ask cannot live”. If you want answers you have to ask questions. These are 75 questions you should ask yourself and try to answer. You can ask yourself these questions right now and over the course of your life.

1. Why not me?
2. Am I nice?
3. Am I doing what I really want to do?
4. What am I grateful for?
5. What’s missing in my life?
6. Am I honest?
7. Do I listen to others?
8. Do I work hard?
9. Do I help others?
10. What do I need to change about myself?
11. Have I hurt others?
12. Do I complain?
13. What’s next for me?
14. Do I have fun?
15. Have I seized opportunities?
16. Do I care about others?
17. Do I spend enough time with my family?
18. Am I open-minded?
19. Have I seen enough of the world?
20. Do I judge others?
21. Do I take risks?
22. What is my purpose?
23. What is my biggest fear?
24. How can I conquer that fear?
25. Do I thank people enough?
26. Am I successful?
27. What am I ashamed of?
28. Do I annoy others?
29. What are my dreams?
30. Am I positive?
31. Am I negative?
32. Is there an afterlife?
33. Does everything happen for a reason?
34. What can I do to change the world?
35. What is the most foolish thing I’ve ever done?
36. Am I cheap?
37. Am I greedy?
38. Who do I love?
39. Who do I want to meet?
40. Where do I want to go?
41. What am I most proud of?
42. Do I care what others think about me?
43. What are my talents?
44. Do I utilize those talents?
45. What makes me happy?
46. What makes me sad?
47. What makes me angry?
48. Am I satisfied with my appearance?
49. Am I healthy?
50. What was the toughest time in my life?
51. What was the easiest time in my life?
52. Am I selfish?
53. What was the craziest thing I did?
54. What is the craziest thing I want to do?
55. Do I procrastinate?
56. What is my greatest regret?
57. What has had the greatest impact on my life?
58. Who has had the greatest impact on my life?
59. Do I stand up for myself?
60. Have I settled for mediocrity?
61. Do I hold grudges?
62. Do I read enough?
63. Do I listen to my heart?
64. Do I donate enough to the less fortunate?
65. Do I pray only when I want something?
66. Do I constantly dwell on the past?
67. Do I let other people’s negativity affect me?
68. Do I forgive myself?
69. When I help someone do I think “What’s in it for me”?
70. Am I aware that someone always has it worse than me?
71. Do I smile more than I frown?
72. Do I surround myself with good people?
73. Do I take time out for myself?
74. Do I ask enough questions?
75. What other questions do I have?

Surrender Box!!

2009-04-05T22:50:00.001-07:00

There are times when our minds become too full. Our to-do lists, worries, plans, and dreams may be so crowded together in our heads that we don't have room to think. We may believe that we are somehow taking care of our desires and concerns by keeping them at the forefront of our minds. In maintaining our mental hold on every detail, however, we may actually delay the realization of our dreams and the resolution of our worries because we won't let them go. At times such as these, we may want to use a surrender box.

A surrender box allows us to let go of our worries and desires so the universe can take care of them for us. We write down what we want or need to happen and then place the note into a box. By writing and placing our thoughts in the box, we are taking action and letting the universe know we need help and are willing to surrender our feelings. We give ourselves permission to not concern ourselves with that problem any longer and trust that the universe is taking care of it. You may even want to decorate your box and place it in a special place. Your surrender box is a sacred container for your worries. Not only do you free up space in your mind by letting go of our worries and desires and dropping them into your surrender box, but you are giving your burden over to a higher power. Once we drop our worries and desires into the surrender box, we free our minds so we can be fully present in each moment.

Surrendering our worries and concerns and placing them in the hands of the universe doesn't mean that we've given up or have been defeated. Instead, we are releasing the realization of our desires and the resolution of our worries and no longer concerning ourselves with their outcomes. It's always fun to go back and pull the slips of paper out of the box once your requests have been granted. And it's amazing how quickly problems go away and dreams come true when we finally let go and allow a higher power to help us.

The power of circle!!

2009-04-05T22:49:00.001-07:00

There are many reasons for why a gathering of people in a circle is powerful. A circle is a shape that is found repeatedly throughout the natural world, and it is a symbol of perfection. We recreate this perfect shape when we join others to form a circle. Being in a circle allows us experience each other as equals. Each person is the same distance apart from the next participant, and no one is seated higher than or stands apart from others in a circle. From tribal circles to the mythical round table of King Arthur, the circle has been the shape adopted by gatherings throughout history.

The circle is acknowledged as an archetype of wholeness and integration, with the center of a circle universally understood to symbolize Spirit - the Source. When a group of people come together in a circle, they are united. This unity becomes even more powerful when each person reaches out to touch a neighbor and clasps hands. This physical connection unites thought and action, mind and body, and spirit and form in a circle. Because a circle has no beginning and no end, the agreement to connect in a circle allows energy to circulate from one person to the next, rather than being dissipated into the environment.

Like a candle used to light another candle, the connection with spirit that results when one person joins hands with another is greater than if each person were to stand alone. People who take part in a circle find that their power increases exponentially while with the group. Like a drop of water rippling on the surface of a pond, the waves of energy produced in a circle radiate outward in circular motion. While one person may act like a single beacon that emanates light, a circle of people is like a satellite dish that sends out energy. There is power in numbers, and when the commitment is made by many to face one another, clasp hands, and focus on one intention, their circle emanates ripples of energy that can change the world.

Colors of Life!!

2009-04-05T09:25:00.001-07:00

When we enter a room or see an object for the first time, our minds register its color before any other detail. The colors our eyes can perceive are like words that form a subtle language of mood, energy, and insight. Color can exert a gentle effect on the mind and the body, influencing our dispositions and our physical health. Color has the ability to trigger our emotions, affect the way we think and act, and influence our attitudes. You unconsciously respond to the color of the walls in your home, your car, your clothing, and the food you eat based on your body's natural reactions to certain colors and the psychological associations you have formed around them. The consequences of the decision to paint a room or wear a specific article of clothing therefore goes beyond aesthetics.

The colors you encounter throughout your day can make you feel happy or sad, invigorate you or drain your vitality, and even affect your work habits. Throughout history, cultures spread over many different parts of the globe have attributed varying meanings to different colors. In China, blue is associated with immortality, while people in the Middle East view blue as a color of protection. There is also evidence that human beings respond to color in a very visceral way. Red excites us and inflames our passions. Too much red, however, can make us feel overstimulated and irritated. Pink tends to make people feel loved and protected but also can cause feelings of lethargy. Yellow represents joy or optimism and can energize you and help you think more clearly. Bright orange reduces depression and sadness. Blue and green are known to inspire peaceful feelings, and people are often able to concentrate better and work in rooms painted in soft blues and greens. The darker tones of! both colors can make you feel serious and introspective.

There are ways to integrate color into your life that go beyond picking the hues of your décor and your wardrobe. You can meditate with color by concentrating on the colors that make you feel peaceful or using a progression of colors to symbolize a descent into a relaxed state. Color breathing involves visualizing certain colors as you in inhale and exhale. Choose to surround yourself with the colors that you are attracted to and make you feel good, and you can create an environment that makes you feel nurtured, peaceful, and uplifted.

A polished sould reflects divinity!!

2009-04-05T09:20:00.000-07:00

THE PAINTING ON THE WALL

There was a king who was a great admirer of art. He encouraged artists from all over his country and gave them valuable gifts.

One day an artist came and said to the king, "Oh King! Give me a blank wall in your palace and let me paint a picture on it. It will be more beautiful than anything you have ever seen before. I promise you shall not be disappointed."

Now,the king happened to be constructing a big hall at the rear end of the palace. So he said, "Alright you may work on one of the walls in the new hall." So the artist was given the job and he was very pleased indeed.

Just then, another young man said, "Oh King! Please allow me to work on the opposite wall. I too am an artist." The king said, "What would you like to make?" The man said, "My Lord, I shall make exactly what that man will make on the opposite wall. Moreover, shall do so,without looking at his work. I would even request you to have a thick curtain put up between the two walls so that either of us can not see the other."

Now, that was a tall statement. Everyone in the king's court, including the king and the first artist were intrigued. But the king loved surprise and he decided to give the young fellow a chance.

The following day a thick curtain was put into place and both the artists got to work. The first artist brought in a regular supply of paint, oil, water etc. The second one would some with a cloth and a bucket of water every day.

After a month the first artist told the king that his work was complete and he would like to show it to the king. The king sent for the second artist and asked him, "Young man, when would your work be ready? I am coming to see the first wall this evening." The man said, "My Lord, my wall is ready too!"

The king went to see the first artist's wall. He was very, very impressed with the painting and gave a hefty sum as a reward to the artist. He then asked for the curtain to be opened up.

Lo and behold! The same painting was to be seen on the opposite wall too! Amazing! But true! Each line, each minor detail was exactly as it was on the first wall. But this man had not been seeing what was going on, on the other side of the curtain. So how had he done it?

The king wanted to know the secret. He gave a double reward to the fellow. Then he said, "Young man, I am indeed very happy with your work. But you must tell me; how did you do it?"

The lad said simply, "It's very easy! I just polished the wall every day!"

It was a wall made of white marble! The fellow polished it till it shone like a mirror. The reflection of the painting across the room, showed up in it!

REFLECTION

That is what it means to polish our self. For when we polish our hearts and souls we see God's reflection within. The soul is placed in the body like a rough diamond and must be polished, or the luster of it will never appear.

It is said that the world is a reflection of you. Whatever you are, the world will seem to be that too.

If you are happy, the world will look to be happy. If you are sad; jealous; dejected; angry; restless ... that is what the world will seem to be to you!

A helping hand speaks a thousand words!!

2009-04-05T09:17:00.000-07:00

THE OLD MAN AND HIS SON

A nurse took the tired, anxious serviceman to the bedside. "Your son is here," she said to the old man. She had to repeat the words several times before the patient's eyes opened.

Heavily sedated because of the pain of his heart attack, he dimly saw the young uniformed Marine standing outside the oxygen tent. He reached out his hand. The Marine wrapped his toughened fingers around the old man's limp ones, squeezing a message of love and encouragement.

The nurse brought a chair so that the Marine could sit beside the bed. All through the night the young Marine sat there in the poorly lighted ward, holding the old man's hand and offering him words of love and strength. Occasionally, the nurse suggested that the Marine move away and rest awhile. He refused.

Whenever the nurse came into the ward, the Marine was oblivious of her and of the night noises of the hospital - the clanking of the oxygen tank, the laughter of the night staff members exchanging greetings, the cries and moans of the other patients.

Now and then she heard him say a few gentle words. The dying man said nothing, only held tightly to his son all through the night.

Along towards dawn, the old man died. The Marine released the now lifeless hand he had been holding and went to tell the nurse. While she did what she had to do, he waited.

Finally, she returned. She started to offer words of sympathy, but the Marine interrupted her. "Who was that man?" he asked. The nurse was startled, "He was your father," she answered. "No, he wasn't," the Marine, replied. "I never saw him before in my life." "Then why didn't you say something when I took you to him?"

"I knew right away there had been a mistake, but I also knew he needed his son, and his son just wasn't here. When I realized that he was too sick to tell whether or not I was his son, knowing how much he needed me, I stayed."

REFLECTION

We are not human beings going through a temporary spiritual experience; We are spiritual beings going through a temporary human experience!

We should help others as much as we can, in whatever situation it might be, as we never know what -that "moment" could mean to someone, it could be a life changing experience or life itself, so why miss any chance?

We should do our seva unto others in any form as a mere instrument of God and take it as a God given opportunity to do something good for others. In helping others we shall help ourselves, for whatever good we give out completes the circle and comes back to us.

Our deeds determine us, as much as we determine our deeds!

Learning from elders in tribes!!

2009-04-05T07:54:00.000-07:00

In tribal cultures, the elderly play an important role. They are the keepers of the tribe's memories and the holders of wisdom. As such, the elderly are honored and respected members of tribes. In many modern cultures, however, this is often not the case. Many elderly people say that they feel ignored, left out, and disrespected. This is a sad commentary on modernization, but it doesn't have to be this way. We can change this situation by taking the time to examine our attitudes about the elderly and taking action.

Modern societies tend to be obsessed with the ideas of newness, youth, and progress. Scientific studies tell us how to do everything – from the way we should raise our kids to what we need to eat for breakfast. As a result, the wisdom that is passed down from older generations is often disregarded. Of course, grandparents and retired persons have more than information to offer the world. Their maturity and experience allows for a larger perspective of life, and we can learn a lot from talking to elderly people. It's a shame that society doesn't do more to allow our older population to continue to feel productive for the rest of their lives, but you can help to make change. Perhaps you could help facilitate a mentorship program that would allow children to be tutored by the elderly in retirement homes. The elderly make wonderful storytellers, and creating programs where they could share their real life experiences with others is another way to educate and inspire other genera! tions.

Take stock of your relationships with the elderly population. Maybe you don't really listen to them because you hold the belief that their time has passed and they are too old to understand what you are going through. You may even realize that you don't have any relationships with older people. Try to understand why and how our cultural perception of the elderly influences the way you perceive them. Look around you and reach out to someone who is elderly – even if you are just saying hello and making small talk. Resolve to be more aware of the elderly. They are our mentors, wise folk, and the pioneers that came before us and paved the way for our future.

Fear of Failure!!

2009-04-05T07:41:00.000-07:00

Fear of Failure: What Does Failure Mean to You? - By Margaret Paul, Ph.D.

What do you believe about failure?

The ego wounded part of ourselves, the left-brain part of ourselves that has been programmed with many false beliefs, often believes that:

"If I fail, I am a failure."
"If I fail, I am stupid."
"If I fail, no one will like me or value me."
"If I fail, then there is no point in ever trying again."
"If I fail, it brands me for life as incompetent."
"If I fail, then everyone who thought I was smart will now think I am stupid."
"If I fail, I will have made a fool of myself."

On the other hand, the loving adult part of us -- our right brain, open, creative, and learning part of us -- generally believes that:

"If I fail, then I just need to work harder, to put in more effort."
"If I fail, I will have learned valuable lessons that will eventually lead to success."
"Failure is a part of life. No one succeeds without some failure."
"Failure does not at all reflect on my worth as a person. I am intrinsically worthy, regardless of success or failure."
"Failure offers me incredible opportunities to think outside the box, to think creatively. Let's get to work!"
"I love learning, and I love challenges. What I do is not about success or failure -- it is about the joy of creativity, learning, and expressing who I am."

Which way of thinking prevails within you? What are the consequences to you of allowing yourself to think from your wounded self instead of from your loving adult?

Failure - A Part of Life
The fact is that mistakes and failure ARE a part of life. Instead of fearing them, why not make it okay to make mistakes and to fail? Why not take the onus off of failure? Why not embrace the process of learning and growing instead of only being focused on the outcome of your efforts? Why not focus on enjoying the process of learning and creating something that is important to you?

People who don't worry about success or failure, who instead are excited about their learning and growing process, generally find their way to succeed. The reason for this is that they don't let failure stop them. Instead, failure spurs them on to work harder, to put forth even more effort to learn what they need to learn to succeed.

On the other hand, even very smart people, who are dominated by their ego-wounded selves, generally allow failure to derail them. Believing they ARE a failure if they fail, they become too afraid to make more effort. In addition, they often believe that success or failure is not dependent on effort, but on ability. When this is their belief, they often give up at the first sign of failure, fearing that, if their natural intelligence and ability is not leading to success, then there is no point in trying harder.

Creating Success
Every successful person knows that effort, creativity, openness to learning, and perseverance are what create success, not necessarily high intelligence, talent, or ability. Every truly successful person is someone who has not allowed failure to stop him or her from forging ahead with passion and purpose.

I encourage you to tell yourself that it is okay to make mistakes and okay to fail. I encourage you to see mistakes and failures as wonderful learning opportunities for growth. I encourage you to let go of the outcome and allow yourself to become fully excited about the process of learning, of growth, and of creation. Being fully present and excited for the process is what life is all about!

Lessons learned hard way!!

2009-04-05T07:39:00.000-07:00

We all have days from time to time when it feels like the world is against us or that the chaos we are experiencing will never end. One negative circumstance seems to lead to another. You may wonder, on a bad day, whether anything in your life will ever go right again. But a bad day, like any other day, can be a gift. Having a bad day can show you that it is time to slow down, change course, or lighten up. A bad day can help you glean wisdom you might otherwise have overlooked or discounted. Bad days can certainly cause you to experience uncomfortable feelings you would prefer to avoid, yet a bad day may also give you a potent means to learn about yourself.

You may consider a bad day to be one where you’ve missing an important meeting because your car stalled, the dryer broke, and you received a piece of very bad news earlier in the morning. Multiple misfortunes that take place one after the other can leave us feeling vulnerable and intensely cognizant of our fragility. But bad days can only have a long-term negative effect on us if we let them. It is better to ask yourself what you can learn from these kinds of days. The state of your bad day may be an indicator that you need to stay in and hibernate or let go of your growing negativity.

Bad days contribute to the people we become. Though we may feel discouraged and distressed on our bad days, a bad day can teach us patience and perseverance. It is important to remember that your attitude drives your destiny and that one negative experience does not have to be the beginning of an ongoing stroke of bad luck. A bad day is memorable because it is one day among many good days – otherwise, we wouldn’t even bother to acknowledge it as a bad day. Know too, that everybody has bad days, you are not alone, the world is not against you. Tomorrow is guaranteed to be a brighter day.

Do it Anyway!!

2009-04-05T07:11:00.000-07:00

People are often unresonable, illogical, and self-centred.
FORGIVE THEM ANYWAY.

If you are kind, people may accuse you of being selfish, and having ulterior motives;
BE KIND ANYWAY

If you are honest and frank, people may cheat you.
BE HONEST AND FRANK ANYWAY.

What you spend years building, someone may try to destroy overnight;
BUILD ANYWAY.

If you find serenity and happiness, they may be jealous.
BE HAPPY ANYWAY.

Give the world the best you have, and it may never be enough;
GIVE THE WORLD THE BEST YOU HAVE ANYWAY.

Universal Messages!!

2009-04-05T06:47:00.000-07:00

The universe can often relay messages to us through signs. Often, we are too busy to stop and consider what may or may not be a sign. We may ask the universe for guidance, yet fail to recognize the sign it sends us in response. Learning the subtle language of signs can help you interpret the guidance the universe sends your way. We all have been blessed with a connection that allows the universe to communicate directly with us. To be able to understand the information relayed over that connection, however, it is necessary that we learn to pay attention and know what to look for.

To see and correctly interpret a sign, you must open your heart and mind to the universe and invite its guidance into your life. Many of us are blind to the signs we receive because we expect angels or our spirit guides to speak to us in a booming voice and tell us exactly what we need to hear. But signs are usually of this earth and therefore easier to encounter. A song lodged in your mind or a number that seems to pop up everywhere you look after you’ve asked the universe for guidance can both be signs. Signs may come through the animal world, from strangers, or jump out of a book in the form of an insightful passage. A sign may be a direct answer to one of your questions. Other signs may point you in the right direction, warn of impending difficulties, or show you a different way. If you want the universe to send you a sign, tell it that you are ready and willing to accept its guidance.

Not everything you hear or see will be a sign. If you are receptive and patient, however, the signs you receive will become easier to recognize. It is important to listen to your intuition. A sign can mean many things to different people, and only you can decipher a sign’s meaning is for you. As you practice reading the signs and following their guidance, the universe will send more of them your way.

Perspective!!

2009-04-05T06:22:00.000-07:00

One day, the father of a very wealthy family took his son on a trip to the country with the express purpose of showing him how poor people live.

They spent a couple of days and nights on the farm of what would be considered a very poor family.

On their return from their trip, the father asked his son, 'How was the trip?'

'It was great, Dad.'

'Did you see how poor people live?' the father asked.

'Oh yeah,' said the son.

'So, tell me, what did you learn from the trip?' asked the father

The son answered:
'I saw that we have one dog and they had four.

We have a pool that reaches to the middle of our garden and they have a creek that has no end.

We have imported lanterns in our garden and they have the stars at night.

Our patio reaches to the front yard and they have the whole horizon.

We have a small piece of land to live on and they have fields that go beyond our sight.

We have servants who serve us, but they serve others.

We buy our food, but they grow theirs.

We have walls around our property to protect us, they have friends to protect them.'

The boy's father was speechless.

Then his son added, 'Thanks Dad for showing me how poor we are.'

Isn't perspective a wonderful thing?

Makes you wonder what would happen if we all gave thanks for everything we have, instead of worrying about what we don't have.

Garbage Truck!!

2009-04-05T06:11:00.000-07:00

One day I hopped in a taxi and we took off for the airport. We were driving in the right lane when suddenly a black car jumped out of a parking space right in front of us. My taxi driver slammed on his breaks, skidded, and missed the other car by just inches! The driver of the other car whipped his head around and started yelling at us. My taxi driver just smiled and waved at the guy. And I mean, he was really friendly.

So I asked, "Why did you just do that? This guy almost ruined your car and sent us to the hospital!" This is when my taxi driver taught me what I now call, "The Law of the Garbage Truck."

He explained that many people are like garbage trucks. They run around full of garbage, full of frustration, full of anger, and full of disappointment. As their garbage piles up, they need a place to dump it and sometimes they'll dump it on you. Don't take it personally. Just smile, wave, wish them well, and move on. Don't take their garbage and spread it to other people at work, at home or on the streets.

The bottom line is that successful people do not let garbage trucks take over their day. Life's too short to wake up in the morning with regrets, so..... "Love the people who treat you right.. Pray for the ones who don't."

Life is ten percent what you make it and ninety percent how you take it!

15 steps to stay POSITIVE!!

2009-04-05T06:04:00.000-07:00

15 steps to stay Positive in Negative situations!!

There are times when we must go through negative situations. Maybe people say something negative about us, or they show rejection or even resentment against us. In such situations, it may be difficult to stay positive. We may be inclined to react negatively to them. That won’t do us any good though; doing so will just make the situation worse. People may behave even more negatively to us. Our day would be filled with anger and disappointment. At the end, nobody wins.

Though it’s not easy, it’s important to stay positive in negative situations. Beat the negative situations by staying positive. Here are 15 tips on how to do it; pick the ones that work for you:

1) Never respond when you are not calm. If you are not sure that you are calm, don’t respond. Take time to calm yourself down first.

2) Take a deep breath as a first step to calm yourself down.

3) Speak in gentle tone to reduce the tension of the situation.

4) Realize that you can find opportunities in negative situations. Albert Einstein said: “In the middle of every difficulty lies opportunity.”

5) Look at the content of what people say to you for something positive that you can act upon to improve yourself. Don’t just reject the whole messages.

6) For the rest of the messages which is negative, simply ignore it.

7) Maintain positive view of the people. Maybe you don’t like their messages or behavior, but that doesn’t mean that you can hate them personally.

8) Realize that having negative feelings will just hurt you, not them. So there is no reason for you to have any negative feeling.

9) If you make mistakes, be open to admit it.

10) If you make mistakes, remember this quote by George Bernard Shaw: “A life spent making

mistakes is not only more honorable, but more useful than a life spent doing nothing.”

11) If you can, listen to motivational audio program to feed positive thoughts into your mind.

12) Talk to a positive friend who can encourage you.

13) Remember your favorite quotes to give you inspiration and motivation. This is one reason why you should have quote of the day.

14) Look at the negative situations as your training sessions for real life. The higher you climb in life, the worse the negative situations would be, so you’d better be prepared for them.

15) Realize that you can’t please everyone. In fact, nobody can. Sometimes you need to just let some people go. Realizing this will relieve you from a lot of unnecessary burden so that you can focus on the people that you can positively interact with.

Release your doubts!! - Ralph Martson

2009-04-05T05:53:00.000-07:00

Can you let go of your doubts? Of course you can.

How do you release those doubts? You simply stop holding on to them.

If you wish to drop an object that you are holding in your hands, you just let it go and it falls away. Visualize doing the exact same thing with each doubt, and allow them all to fall away from you under their own weight.

Every doubt you maintain requires your active participation and energy. Choose to no longer participate in keeping those doubts alive.

Instead, use the energy to grow and build and love and live and accomplish great things. Release your doubts, and stop standing in the way of your own progress.

Move positively forward without the encumbrance of doubt. And discover how amazingly effective you can naturally be.

Can you think Creatively?

2009-04-05T03:45:00.000-07:00

Based on an experiment that was carried out in the U. S I tried this with my trainees, relatives and friends –all Indians .

Here is the experiment

FIND OUT THE ODD ONE OUT IN THE FOLLOWING
A COW, A STACK OF HAY AND A PIG

Most people point out that the PIG is the odd one .

Westerners tend to point out the stack of hay instead .Why this difference ?

Americans tend to be analytical and seek to fit things into slots and classifications. Thus the cow and the pig are animals while the hay is not. Hence the hay is the odd one out.

Indians as well as other Asians tend to seek to see relationships and then find a relationship between the cow and the hay which it eats .Hence the pig is the odd one .

In another experiment it was found that when shown a picture westerners tend to focus on the item that is prominently seen while Asians tend to see much more of the background .

Thus it may be said with some exaggeration that Asians tend to see holistically .
However these need to be further researched.

I have observed that Indians are not really thinking contextually especially in matters that involve some degree of emotion or where there is some ignorance or arrogance .In such instances I notice that many of us proceed to think as follows—what I do not know may not be important. Alternately what I see is the whole situation. Also what is good for me ought to be good for others.

Take for example the annual India International Film Awards. Notice that this seeks to acknowledge INDIAN films This event has been held for some years now in various locales all over the world. Amitabh Bachchan is the Brand Ambassador.

I have written letters in the media pointing out one serious error in these awards. NOT ONCE IN ALL THESE YEARS HAS CINEMA OTHER THAN BOLLYWOOD BEEN EVEN CONSIDERED FOR RECOGNITION .

This is an instance of what I do not know[-cinema other than Bollywood ] is not worth knowing. This is arrogance and insensitivity. Surely we need to either call it the Bollywood International Film awards or acknowledge the other cinemas in India.

Contextual thinking is an art that needs to be deliberately cultivated. This calls for empathy that is somewhat rare.

I help trainees to try and see any event, phenomenon, behaviour in CONTEXT. This yields rich perspectives.

On one occasion a friend remarked that he found it silly and absurd that some communities in south India actually seem to celebrate with dance and song the death of a loved one. This he felt is ‘contrary to the norm‘,

I challenged him to try and seek a paradigm shift in thinking –this after all was the hallmark of creative thinking.

Let us see how we can not only challenge our own thinking but can also try contextual thinking .

The caste groups that ‘ celebrate’ death are among the poorest of the poor in India –scavengers and those who carry night soil for example. For such people death is in fact a deliverance from a horrifying life—hence a celebration is called for. This is contextual thinking .

Secondly who are we to lay down norms and call any other behaviour as contrary? I remember a scene in the film MADHUMATI in which the hero Dilip Kumar is shown walking past a tree in a forest when he notices Johnny Walker hanging upside down from a tree. When asked why he was upside down Johnny Walker remarks ‘As far as I am concerned you are upside down’.

Thus it is we who feel that one ‘ought’ to grieve when someone dies. The castes referred to may well reply as Johnny Walker did ‘ How is it that you guys cry when someone dies ?”

My friend Jean found it strange that Hindus wear white apparel when in mourning . She suggested that white dress was the ‘right’ colour for a wedding—this being the practice in her community of Catholics. Surely being normative has its hazards—you may put off people.

I believe the time has come for all of us to try and understand ‘others’, their thinking, lifestyles, their beliefs and their world view in the light of contextual thinking.

Perspectives can vary enormously. My friend Kavita narrates an interesting experience she had in Oakland in California . Kavita happened to befriend a girl—an Afghan-- who was working in a small shop. They got talking . At one stage Kavita asked her Afghan friend how she found life in Oakland The reply almost shocked Kavita.

‘Oh, Oakland is a happening place—like Lahore and some cities in Afghanistan !’TAUBA! TAUBA!!

Have time for yourself!!

2009-04-05T03:42:00.000-07:00

Modern life compels us to rush. Because we feel pressured to make the most of our time each day, the activities that sustain us, rejuvenate us, and help us evolve are often the first to be sacrificed when we are in a hurry or faced with a new obligation. It is important we remember that there is more to life than achieving success, making money, and even caring for others. Your spiritual needs should occupy an important spot on your list of priorities. Each task you undertake and each relationship you nurture draws from the wellspring of your spiritual vitality. Taking the time to engage in spiritually fulfilling activities replenishes that well and readies you to face another day. Making time for the activities that contribute to your spiritual growth has little to do with being selfish and everything to do with your well-being. Regularly taking the time to focus on your soul’s needs ensures that you are able to nurture yourself, spend time with your thoughts, experience ! tranquility, and expand your spiritual boundaries.

It is easy to avoid using our free moments for spiritual enrichment. There is always something seemingly more pressing that needs to be done. Many people feel guilty when they use their free time to engage in pursuits where they are focusing on themselves because they feel as if they are neglecting their family or their work. To make time for yourself, it may be necessary to say no to people’s requests or refuse to take on extra responsibilities. Scheduling fifteen or thirty minutes of time each day for your spiritual needs can make you feel tranquil, give you more energy and allows you to feel more in touch with the universe. Writing in a journal, meditating, studying the words of wise women and men, and engaging in other spiritual practices can help you make the most of this time.

Making time to nurture your spirit may require that you sacrifice other, less vital activities. The more time you commit to soul-nurturing activities, the happier and more relaxed you will become. The time you devote to enriching your spirit will rejuvenate you and help you create a more restful life.

Think out of the Box!!

2009-04-05T03:39:00.000-07:00

There's a tennis tournament with one hundred twenty seven players . You've got one hundred twenty-six people paired off in sixty-three matches, plus one unpaired player as a bye. In the next round, there are sixty-four players and thirty-two matches. How many matches, total, does it take to determine a winner?

the answer is 126. There are 127 players and it takes one match to eliminate one player. One hundred twenty-six players have to be eliminated to leave one winner. Therefore, there have to be 126 matches.

This is thinking out of the box.
Wherever it has been practiced it has resulted in stupendous success. Google, ICICI bank, ebay, naukri.com, Tata Nano, Mittals , Sterlite, Reliance are all examples of this.

It seems simple but require different kind of thinking.

How do I stop Negative Thoughts?

2009-04-05T02:49:00.000-07:00

How do I stop my negative thoughts?" - is a question that I have been asked many times. If you have ever asked this question then you will feel such enormous relief in knowing the answer, because it is so simple. How do you stop negative thoughts? You plant good thoughts!

When you try to stop negative thoughts, you are focusing on what you don't want - negative thoughts - and you will attract an abundance of them. They can never disappear if you are focused on them. The "stop" part is irrelevant - the negative thoughts are your focus It doesn't matter if you are trying to stop negative thoughts or control them or push them away, the result is the same. Your focus is on negative thoughts, and by the law of attraction you are inviting more of them to you.

The truth is always simple and it is always easy. To stop negative thoughts, just plant good thoughts! Deliberately plant good thoughts! You plant good thoughts by making it a daily practice to appreciate all the things in your day. Appreciate your health, your car, your home, your family, your job, your friends, your surroundings, your meals, your pets, and the magnificent beauty of the day. Compliment, praise, and give thanks to all things. Every time you say "Thank you" it is a good thought! As you plant more and more good thoughts, the negative thoughts will be wiped out. Why? Because your focus is on good thoughts, and what you focus on you attract.

So don't give any attention to negative thoughts. Don't worry about them. If any come, make light of them, shrug them off, and let them be your reminder to deliberately think more good thoughts now.

The more good thoughts you can plant in a day, the faster your life will be utterly transformed into all good. If you spend only one day speaking of good things and saying "Thank you" at every single opportunity, you will not believe your tomorrow. Deliberately thinking good thoughts is exactly like planting seeds. As you think good thoughts you are planting good seeds inside you, and the Universe will transform those seeds into a garden of paradise. How will the garden of paradise appear? As your life!

Excellence!!

2009-04-05T02:04:00.000-07:00

A German once visited a temple under construction where he saw a sculptor making an idol of God. Suddenly he noticed a similar idol lying nearby. Surprised, he asked the sculptor, "Do you need two statues of the same idol?" "No," said the sculptor without looking up, "We need only one, but the first one got damaged at the last stage." The gentleman examined the idol and found no apparent damage. "Where is the damage?" he asked. "There is a scratch on the nose of the idol." said the sculptor, still busy with his work. "Where are you going to install the idol?"

The sculptor replied that it would be installed on a pillar twenty feet high. "If the idol is that far, who is going to know that there is a scratch on the nose?" the gentleman asked. The sculptor stopped his work, looked up at the gentleman, smiled and said, "I will know it."

The desire to excel is exclusive of the fact whether someone else appreciates it or not. "Excellence" is a drive from inside, not outside. Excellence is not for someone else to notice but for your own satisfaction and efficiency... .

Fatherhood!!

2009-04-05T01:53:00.000-07:00

The idea of fatherhood is both personal and universal. We all have ideal concepts surrounding fatherhood, and we also have our real fathers—fathers who were there or not there for us, fathers who provided financial support for our families or failed to do so, fathers who loved or neglected us, fathers who were our role models or gave us someone to rebel against. Our father may have been there for us sometimes and not there for us at other times. The process of reconciling the ideal father that resides in our minds with the father that we actually have is a fertile one that can teach us a great deal about ourselves.

Our relationship with our father will often affect our relationships with the other men who will come into our lives. You may have learned to behave and think in certain ways because those were the ways that your father acted and thought. Certain talents that you possess may have been passed down to you by your father. There also may be personal issues that you inherited by virtue of who your father is. Understanding how your relationship with your father has influenced you can help you better understand yourself and the life that you have created.

In a time when mothers, the sacred feminine, and female energy are being honored, it is important not to forget the importance of fathers. Father energy and mother energy are the two complementary energies necessary to bring a healthy human being to fruition in the world. Many of the ideas surrounding fathers are changing in the wake of more modern parenting styles and the more egalitarian roles that are evolving between the sexes. More men are embodying the mother energy these days, and a woman can provide father energy for her children. Either way, we can all benefit from thinking about our fathers and how they have influenced who we’ve become and the ways that we walk through this world. Let us remember to honor our fathers.

Am I with a right partner?

2009-04-04T17:05:00.000-07:00

During a seminar, a woman asked," How do I know if I am with the right person?" the author then noticed that there was a large man sitting next to her so he said, "It depends. Is that your partner?" In all seriousness, she answered "How do you know?" Let me answer this question because the chances are good that it's weighing on your mind replied the author. Here's the
answer.

Every relationship has a cycle...In the beginning; you fall in love with your partner. You anticipate their calls, want their touch, and like their idiosyncrasies. Falling in love wasn't hard. In fact, it was a completely natural and spontaneous experience. You didn't have to DO anything. That's why it's called "falling" in love.

People in love sometimes say, "I was swept of my feet." Picture the expression. It implies that you were just standing there; doing nothing, and then something happened TO YOU. Falling in love is a passive and spontaneous experience. But after a few months or years of being together,
The euphoria of love fades. It's a natural cycle of EVERY relationship. Slowly but surely, phone calls become a bother (if they come at all), touch is not always welcome (when it happens), and your spouse's idiosyncrasies, instead of being cute, drive you nuts. The symptoms of this stage vary with every relationship; you will notice a dramatic difference between the initial stage when you were in love and a much duller or even angry subsequent stage. At this point, you and/or your partner might start asking, "Am I with the right person?" And as you reflect on the euphoria of the love you once had, you may begin to desire that experience with someone else. This is when relationships breakdown.

The key to succeeding in a relationship is not finding the right person; It’s learning to love the person you found.

People blame their partners for their unhappiness and look outside for fulfillment. Extramarital fulfillment comes in all shapes and sizes. Infidelity is the most common. But sometimes people turn to work, a hobby, a friendship, excessive TV, or abusive substances. But the answer to this
Dilemma does NOT lie outside your relationship. It lies within it. I'm not saying that you couldn't fall in love with someone else. You could. and TEMPORARILY you'd feel better. But you'd be in the same situation a few years later. Because (listen carefully to this): The key to succeeding in a
relationship is not finding the right person; it's learning to love the person you found.

SUSTAINING love is not a passive or spontaneous experience. Yu have to work on it day in and day out. It takes time, effort, and energy. And most importantly, it demands WISDOM. You have to know WHAT TO DO to make it work. Make no mistake about it. Love is NOT a mystery. There are specific things you can do (with or without your partner). Just as there are
physical laws of the universe (such as gravity), there are also laws for relationships. If you know and apply these laws, the results are predictable. Love is therefore a "decision". Not just a feeling.

Remember this always: God determines who walks into your life. It is up to you to decide who you let walk away, who you let stay, and who you refuse To let GO!!

Being on Track!!

2009-04-04T17:01:00.001-07:00

In a world where we have routines for nearly everything—our route to work, our physical fitness regimen, and our weekday schedule—it’s amazing how many people forget to create a routine for meeting their spiritual needs. We run around in an attempt to be at our many appointments on time and meet our many obligations. In our efforts to be as productive as possible, however, our spiritual needs tend to take a backseat. After all, taking care of our spiritual needs doesn’t directly pay the bills or tone our abdominal muscles. We may even wonder who has time to meditate or write in their journal when there are more pressing matters to see to. The truth is that nurturing ourselves spiritually is what gives us the energy and grounding that we need to make sure that our lives stay on track.

How you choose to nurture yourself spiritually is a personal choice. For some people, meditating once a day may be what they need to stay centered. While spending 10-20 minutes with your eyes closed and your brain devoid of thought may seem like a lot of time doing nothing, this state of nothingness actually allows you to stay calm and focused so you can be as productive as possible. Writing in your journal everyday lets you stay in touch with yourself so that you are always tuned in to your feelings. Repeating affirmations for success, happiness, and well-being on a regular basis can help you live with optimism and enthusiasm and create what you want in life.

Having a routine for nurturing your spirit that you do each day lets you feed energy to your soul and can serve you well if your life suddenly takes an unexpected turn into a difficult period. This kind of routine grounds your spirit in your body so that you stay anchored in yourself as you move through each day. Nurturing yourself spiritually allows you to not only stay on track in your life, but it allows for your life to stay on track with what your spirit wants.

May be, when one door CLOSEs, another OPENs!

2009-04-04T16:55:00.000-07:00

Maybe. . We were supposed to meet the Wrong people before meeting the right One so that, when we finally meet the Right person, we will know how to be Grateful for that gift.

Maybe . . . When the door of happiness Closes, another opens; but, often Times, we look so long at the closed Door that we don't even see the new One which has been opened for us.

Maybe . . . It is true that we don't Know what we have until we lose it, But it is also true that we don't know What we have been missing until it Arrives.

Maybe . . . The happiest of people Don't necessarily have the best of Everything; they just make the most of Everything that comes along their way.

Maybe . . . The brightest future will Always be based on a forgotten past; After all, you can't go on Successfully in life until you let go Of your past mistakes, failures and Heartaches.

Maybe . . . You should dream what you Want to dream; go where you want to Go, be what you want to be, because You have only one life and one chance To do all the things you dream of, and Want to do.

Maybe . . . There are moments in life When you miss someone -- a parent, a Spouse, a friend, a child -- so much That you just want to pick them from Your dreams and hug them for real, so That once they are around you Appreciate them more.

Maybe . . . The best kind of friend is The kind you can sit on a porch and Swing with, never say a word, and then Walk away feeling like it was the best Conversation you've ever had.

Maybe . . You should always try to put Yourself in others' shoes. If you feel That something could hurt you, it Probably will hurt the other person, Too.

Maybe . . You should do something nice For someone every single day, even if It is simply to leave them alone.

Maybe . Giving someone all your love Is never an assurance that they will Love you back. Don't expect love in Return; just wait for it to grow in Their heart; but, if it doesn't, be Content that it grew in yours.

Maybe . . . Happiness waits for all Those who cry, all those who hurt, all Those who have searched, and all those Who have tried, for only they can Appreciate the importance of ll the People who have touched their lves.

Maybe . . . You shouldn't go for Looks; they can deceive; don't go for Wealth; even that fades away. Go for Someone who makes you smile, because It takes only a smile to make a dark Day seem bright. Find the one that Makes your heart smile.

Maybe . . You should hope for enough Happiness to make you sweet, enoughTrials to make you strong, enough Sorrow to keep you human, and enough Hope to make you happy

Maybe . . . You should try to live Your life to the fullest because when You were born, you were crying and Everyone around you was smiling but When you die, you can be the one who Is smiling and everyone around you Crying.

Maybe . . . You could send this message To those people who mean something to You, to those who have touched your Life, to those who can and do make you Smile when you really need it, to Those who make you see the brighter Side of things when you are really Down, and to all those whom you want To know that you appreciate them and Their friendship. And if you don't, don't worry; Nothing Bad will happen to you. You will just Miss out on the opportunity to perhaps Brighten someone's day.

The Power Behind Us!!

2009-04-04T16:53:00.000-07:00

Behind each of us stands at least one supporter. This was once thought to be the spouse who ran the home while leaving the other spouse free to work. While this is still one valid scenario, most of us will find that we have other kinds of supporters in our lives. In some cases, our supporters are the people whose help allows us to do the things we’re best at, see to our obligations, or pursue or dreams. In other cases, our support may come from the people who are there to help us through life’s challenges by offering us their strength and bolstering our spirit.

Our support may come from our families and friends or from the people we hire—nannies, assistants, gardeners, healers, therapists, and advisors. Our supporters may be the mentors who help us express ourselves by listening to us as we share our thoughts and feelings. Our supporter can be the person sitting next to us at a networking meeting or the teacher from our childhood whose words still resonate in our minds. We have always had supporters around us whether we noticed them or not. No matter where the support comes from, few of us can make it through life without assistance.

As we take the time to acknowledge everyone that has every supported us, we can’t help but feel grateful. Understanding our place in our human support system helps us see that just as there are people that support us, we are a supporter to many people. By gratefully accepting the expertise and assistance of our supporters, we can consciously and more easily build a life that we love. Thanks to our staff, groups, friends, and loved ones for all their support. We all need each other’s support to thrive this world.

Recognizing our Feelings!!

2009-04-04T15:54:00.000-07:00

If you’ve ever found yourself repressing your anger and behaving in other ways to get your point across, you may be someone who is adept at engaging in passive-aggressive behavior. Although passive-aggressive behavior is recognized as a psychological disorder, it also describes the behavior that many people use to cope with confrontational situations. Such behavior has the outward appearance of being peaceful, yet it is really an attempt to express oneself in seemingly passive ways—usually without accepting responsibility for doing so. For example, someone who doesn’t want to attend an event with a partner might engage in behavior that causes them to be late or miss the event without ever admitting to their partner that they never wanted to go to the function at all. Procrastination, inefficiency, stubbornness, and sullenness are some of the many ways that anger can be expressed indirectly.

It is important not to judge ourselves when we engage in passive-aggressive behavior. You may want to consider that you are not owning your feelings or your expression by indirectly expressing yourself. Perhaps you are judging your feelings and needs as wrong—which is why you are expressing yourself indirectly. You also may be worried that others will judge you for feeling the way that you do. Remember that anger and every other emotion are never good or bad. They can, however, become toxic of you don’t express them in healthy and proactive ways. When we express ourselves directly, we are more likely to be heard by the other person. It also becomes easier for us to ask for and get what we want.

Once we learn to be honest with ourselves about our feelings, we can begin to directly express ourselves to others. By learning to express ourselves directly, we prevent misunderstandings, hurt feelings, and resentment from cropping up in our relationships. We also learn to communicate with others in healthy and productive ways. It is never too late to start working on ourselves and our behaviors, just take it one day at a time.

Performance Dialogue!!

2009-04-04T15:43:00.001-07:00

by Harold D. Stolovitch, Ph.D.

Brad's in a panic. Out of shape, overweight and wheezing. Desperately, he visits the doctor complaining, "I'm a mess. Clothes don't fit. Can't breathe. Please, give me some diet pills to shed this weight fast!"

"Brad, first I'll run a few tests."

"No time for tests! I already know what's wrong. I'm overweight. That's why I'm here. I need diet pills to help me lose my excess pounds now."

"But Brad, we need to adopt a broader approach. You make poor food choices, get no exercise, sleep only a few hours each night, smoke..."

"Doctor, you don't understand. I lead a pressure-cooker life. I eat out with clients. There's no time for exercise. Work is a killer. My only relaxation is the occasional cigarette. Please, Doctor, the diet pills!"

Brad has come to his doctor with what he views as a serious problem and, to him, an obvious solution: diet pills. The doctor knows diet pills won't suffice. However, Brad is the patient, and if he doesn't provide the pills, Brad might turn elsewhere. He appears to have no patience for integrated solutions.

Performance professionals constantly face similar scenes.

"My people aren't working hard enough; get me a motivational speaker. They aren't selling the new product; set up an incentive system. Complaints about our customer service are skyrocketing; train them. They've already been trained? Do refresher training." At what point does a doctor or a performance professional stop the madness without chasing the client away?

The Performance Dialogue

Dialogue entails entering into deep and empathetic conversations with our clients about their wants while focusing on their needs. In Brad's case, is it really diet pills that he most desires, or is weight loss, health and fitness the goal? He is so intent on his short-term, miracle-pill solution, it requires a meaningful, in-depth conversation to help reframe his thinking. Here are five rules for conducting such a dialogue:

Rule 1: Get the client to talk - a lot.
From the outset, display willingness to listen with the purpose of achieving the client's goals. Draw out what led to the request. The more the client talks, the easier it is to steer the dialogue toward end results.

Rule 2: Don't talk solution. Talk end state.
If the client focuses on the initial request - the motivational speaker, incentive system or training event - gently but firmly draw the discussion back to desired performance outcomes.

Rule 3: Focus on verifiable outcomes.
"Imagine we achieved the results you desire; how will we know concretely?" Hammer home the benefits of clear measures. For Brad, that's fewer pounds, inches off waist and chest, and a smaller clothing size. Establish a timeline with checkpoints to verify measured accomplishments.

Rule 4: Do your homework before engaging in dialogue.
Gather information about the client, expectations and business pressures. The more prepared you are, the more credible your recommendations will be.

Rule 5: Collect sample cases and strategies that demonstrate high probabilities of success.
Present credible alternatives to the single solution you anticipate from your client. Be ready to offer examples of similar situations in which blended strategies led to successful outcomes, perhaps at a lower cost than what the client has requested.

On Rules 4 and 5, preparation and research will not only bolster your confidence in dealing appropriately with clients, it will also demonstrate your professionalism. We must not be frustrated order-takers at the beck and call of organizationally powerful clients. Our model should be that of Deanna Troi in "Star Trek: The Next Generation": trusted adviser to the captain and operations officers and participant in key decisions.

As performance professionals, we possess expertise our clients lack. When they come to us seeking diet pills, we have to listen to their reasoning, engage them in dialogue and then, like counselor Deanna Troi, guide them to wise solutions.

All of the above comes with strong warnings. Do not expect success on your first attempt, nor be discouraged if you are still forced to deliver the requested solution. We have to educate clients. They will continue impatiently demanding miracle-pill solutions and quick fixes, complaining that, "You just don't understand!" Of course you do. Through your caring performance dialogue, you can show them just how much.

[About the Author: Harold D. Stolovitch, Ph.D., CPT is a principal of HSA Learning & Performance Solutions LLC and is emeritus professor of instructional and performance technology at the Universite de Montreal.]

A Great Teacher!!

2009-04-04T14:58:00.000-07:00

The journey of water as it flows upon the earth can be a mirror of our own paths through life. Water begins its residence on earth as it falls from the sky or melts from ice and streams down a mountain into a tributary or stream. In the same way, we come into the world and begin our lives on earth. Like a river that flows within the confines of its banks, we are born with certain defining characteristics that govern our identity. We are born in a specific time and place, within a specific family, and with certain gifts and challenges. Within these parameters, we move through life, encountering many twists, turns, and obstacles along the way just as a river flows.

Water is a great teacher that shows us how to move through the world with grace, ease, determination, and humility. When a river breaks at a waterfall, it gains energy and moves on, as we encounter our own waterfalls, we may fall hard but we always keep moving on. Water can inspire us to not become rigid with fear or cling to what’s familiar. Water is brave and does not waste time clinging to its past, but flows onward without looking back. At the same time, when there is a hole to be filled, water does not run away from it in fear of the dark; instead, water humbly and bravely fills the empty space. In the same way, we can face the dark moments of our life rather than run away from them.

Eventually, a river will empty into the sea. Water does not hold back from joining with a larger body, nor does it fear a loss of identity or control. It gracefully and humbly tumbles into the vastness by contributing its energy and merging without resistance. Each time we move beyond our individual egos to become part of something bigger, we can try our best to follow the lead of the river.

13 Things About YOU!!

2009-04-04T09:40:00.000-07:00

1. Someone in this world Loves you , in some way.
2. A smile from you, can bring happiness to anyone, even if they don't like you.
3. Every night, SOMEONE thinks about you before they go to sleep.
4. You mean the world to someone.
5. Without you, someone may not be living.
6. You are special and unique, in your own way.
7. Someone that you don't know even exists, loves you.
8. When you make the biggest mistake ever, something good comes from it.
9. When you think the world has turned it's back on you, take a look, you most likely turned your back on the world.
10. When you think you have no chance at getting what you want, you probably won't get it, but if you believe in yourself, you probably sooner or later will get it.
11.Always remember complements you received, forget about the rude remarks.
12.Always tell someone how you feel about them, you will feel much better when they know.
13.If you have a great friend, take the time to let them know that they are great. If you choose, send this letter to as many people as you care about, you'll brighten up someone's day, and might change their perspective on life, for the better!

Chakra Breathing Meditations - Layne Redmond

2009-04-04T06:28:00.000-07:00

Yoga instructor, percussionist, and author Layne Redmond has been studying Eastern meditation practices since 1970 and brings a wealth of experience and grace to bear on her CD Chakra Breathing Meditations. A great beginner's disc, it focuses almost entirely on the breath and on visualization exercises. With her quietly assertive and nurturing voice, Redmond speaks with the measured assurance of one who has taught these processes time and again, and she knows just how to go: slow and steady so that you won't ever lose track of where you are, but with enough forward momentum that one won't grow impatient with the rate of guidance.

Tibetan singing bowls and chimes open and close practice sessions and introduce "age old techniques for synchronizing mind, body, and spirit." Redmond seeks to introduce us to pranayama, the practice that enables us to realize higher levels of awareness through concentrating on our breath. "Breathing in and out rhythmically quiets the mind while energizing the body," Redmond notes. In subsequent tracks, she introduces us to an array of useful breathing practices to use whether you’re walking, seated, or standing. The idea of this is to gradually begin to incorporate these breathing techniques into all facets of our waking lives. The main exercise deals with activating the chakras. With the spine erect, the eyes relaxed and closed, we turn to the center to "see the spinal chord as a luminous, silvery tube," Redmond says. "See and feel the continuous movement of energy up and down the spine." Gradually we move the light of our attention from the base chakra up to the crown of ! the skull. Redmond commands us to see the crown "blazing and pulsing, like a thousand petaled, sparkling lotus."

The final track is a 21-minute instrumental featuring Redmond's solid and hypnotic percussion. Tribal drums and tambourines call one into the now over chiming synthesizers. Take your time with these exercises as there is no way to hurry or rush yourself into relaxed breathing. It's all there in Redmond's slow, steady speaking voice; her calm, centered approach will cut through the webs of illusion holding you to your angst and shallow "fight or flight" breathing and awaken you to whole new levels of peace and consciousness, one conscious breath at a time.

Meditation with Incense Sticks!!

2009-04-04T06:27:00.001-07:00

When we focus on incense sticks during meditation, we move into a mystical space that is both physical and spiritual at once. Like us, the incense stick is earthbound with an ember that burns for only a finite time, but the diaphanous spirit it releases is unbound by time or space. Rather than shutting down our senses to focus on an inner realm, incense involves our senses as we follow whirling smoke upward and outward while we take its scent into us, filling us as we breathe.

The journey starts with a flame, and then a glowing ember releases smoke to rise above us in an ethereal dance. Ashes fall below, purified by the fire. We can use this to imagine negative thoughts being changed from darkness into the beauty of warm gray snowflakes and a scented spun-silver plume, lighter than air. We can watch as our atmosphere is altered to become reminiscent of the heavens and lifts our thoughts: Embers become shooting stars, and the silver ribbon of smoke becomes unraveled clouds. Altered senses may guide our inspired thoughts to travel along new, perhaps undiscovered, pathways.

We can also imagine our physical selves being represented by the incense stick, our inner fire releasing magic into the world. That part of us emanates outward, expanding to mingle with the breath of those around us as we ride the wind to become part of everything. We can also see in the swirling smoke our life’s path, not a straight line but a twirling, meandering ballet that moves us ever onward and upward. We may leave a bit of ourselves behind as we bounce off of our surroundings, working through them, but no matter what we do, we cannot avoid our final destination: oneness with all that is. As spiritual beings enjoying the physical experience of life, incense meditations can help us remember the beauty and wonder of our existence, where heaven and earth, body and spirit, are all available to us in every moment.

Balancing various phases of LIFE!!

2009-04-04T06:25:00.000-07:00

Many of us have a hard time balancing taking care of ourselves with taking care of our family responsibilities. For people with young children, this can be especially challenging, but even people without children have obligations to care for extended family, partners, pets, and the home in which they live. It’s easy to lose track of our own needs as we give ourselves to the people, pets, and places we love. However, it is essential to their well-being that we take care of ourselves, filling our own wells with water so that we have something to offer when we return home each day.

It is easy to get caught up in the demands of home life because they never stop. There is always one more thing you can do, another dish in the sink, a counter that needs wiping, or a person who needs a ride somewhere. If you don’t set some boundaries, you will find yourself on an endless journey of housework and doing for others. Eventually, you will probably feel drained and out of touch with your inner life force. Instead of waiting for this to happen, integrate self-care into your daily schedule. Even Buddha insisted that he have one hour completely to himself every day. There are times when even that will not be possible—for example, with a new baby or a sick relative. At times like this, retreating inward energetically can be a lifesaver. You can always find five minutes to close your eyes and breathe consciously. You may even be able to meditate.

Most of the time, though, it is possible to set aside a full hour for yourself each day. In addition, scheduling a longer interval of time, perhaps on a weekly basis, can really help to restore your energy. Get a massage or go to a movie or out with a friend. Taking time to experience the world outside of your home makes returning home all the more wonderful. In the same way, taking care of yourself is a natural complement to taking care of your home and family.

Fear may block Creativity!!

2009-04-04T06:23:00.000-07:00

To understand how fear blocks creativity, take a moment to imagine yourself telling a story. First, imagine telling the story to someone you love and who loves you. You probably feel warmth and energy as you fill in the details of your tale to your friend’s delight. Now, imagine telling the same story to someone who, for whatever reason, makes you uncomfortable. The wonderful twists and turns, the fine points and colorful images that unfolded in your mind for your friend probably won’t present themselves. Instead of warmth, energy, and creativity, you will probably feel opposite sensations and a desire to close down. When we feel unsafe, whether we fear being judged, disliked, or misunderstood, our creative flow stops. Alternately, when we feel safe, our creativity unfolds like a beautiful flower, without conscious effort.

Knowing this, we can maximize our creative potential by creating the conditions that inspire our creativity. In order to really be in the flow, we need to feel safe and unrestricted. However, achieving this is not as simple as avoiding people who make us feel uncomfortable. Sometimes we can be alone in a room and still feel totally blocked. When this happens, we know we have come up against elements in our own psyches that are making us feel fearful. Perhaps we are afraid that in expressing ourselves we will discover something we don’t want to know, or unleash emotions or ideas that we don’t want to be responsible for. Or maybe we’re afraid we’ll fail to produce something worthy.

When you’re up against fear, internal or external, ritual can be a powerful—and creative—antidote. Before you sit down to be creative, try casting a circle of protection around yourself. Visualize yourself inside a ring of light, protective fire, or angels. Imagine that this protective energy emanates unconditional love for you and wants to hear, see, and feel everything you have to express. Take a moment to bathe in the warmth of this feeling and then fearlessly surrender yourself to the power that flows through you.

Handle What you Can!!

2009-04-04T06:18:00.000-07:00

Sometimes we may feel like there is just too much we need to do. Feeling overwhelmed may make it seem like the universe is picking on us, but the opposite is true: we are only given what we can handle. Difficult situations are opportunities to be our best selves, hone our skills and rise to the occasion.

The best place to start is to take a deep breath. As you do, remind yourself that the universe works in perfect order and therefore you can get everything done that needs to get done. As you exhale, release all the details that you have no control over. The universe with it‘s infinite organizing power will orchestrate the right outcome. Anytime stress begins to creep up, remember to breathe through it with these thoughts.

Then, make a list of everything you need to do. Note what needs to be done first, and mark the things others may be able to do for you or with you. Though we often think no one else can do it correctly or well, there are times when it is worth it to exhale, let go of our control, and ask for help from professionals or friends. With the remaining things that feel you must do yourself, take another breath and determine their true importance. Sometimes they are things we’d like to do, but aren’t really necessary. After taking these quick steps, you will find you have a plan laid out, freeing you from frenzied thoughts circling in your head. With calming deep breaths, you are now free to focus more fully on our priorities. Herbal teas or flower remedies along with wise choices about caffeine and food can help keep us from becoming frantic too. But with nothing further from us than our breath, we can breathe in our best intentions and let the rest go with an exhale. Keeping ourse! lves centered and breathing into and through life’s challenges helps us learn what we are truly capable of doing, and we will find we have the ability to rise to any occasion. Remember you aren’t being picked on, and you are never alone.

Working Smarter not Harder!!

2009-03-30T08:36:00.000-07:00

Working smarter, not harder, is an age-old adage, and if you master the concept, your entire working life will be easier. There are simple techniques that you can employ to save steps and tedium from almost any task.

Steps

1) Assess everything that needs to be done. Before you plunge in headfirst, remember that enthusiasm needs to be tempered with wisdom. Look over every aspect of the job, and allow yourself ample "pondering time" so that you can be sure that every detail is accomplished on time, and accurately.

2) Make an outline. Whether it's in your head or on paper, you should have a checklist in mind, and follow it to the letter, and in order - you don't want to repeat steps, duplicate the efforts of others, or make mistakes. Also, you definitely don't want to forget anything.

3) Consider your materials. Don't take shortcuts, when possible, on the quality of your materials. Cheap materials are harder to work with, because they aren't as sturdy or nice. Because they're harder to work with, they take longer to bend to your will. Remember that working smart means thinking about these things - in most jobs, the materials aren't where the majority of the costs are. It's the labor - the time needed to complete the job - that costs the company more money. Using inexpensive materials where they are easily installed makes sense. Trying to save a few bucks but spending an extra hour or two because those cheap things didn't install properly doesn't make any sense at all.

4) Follow your plan and don't deviate from it - unless you must. Once you've assessed the job and come up with a plan, it's usually best to stick with the plan. However, things come up: a part doesn't fit, or it turns out it's not the best item for the job, someone gets sick, all sorts of emergencies can throw a wrench into your plan. Be prepared to think on your feet, and be resourceful. Nimble thinking is essential to working smart, especially when something goes wrong. Following a plan slavishly, in spite of new information, developments, or problems is just plain dumb. Be flexible and change if you need to.

5) Delegate to the right people at the right times. Make sure your team is well-ordered. If one person is faster, put him or her on the part of your task that will take longest. If one person is more skilled and accurate, put him or her on the part of the task that is most critical.

6) Work parallel. This means that there may be four or five, for example, components to your job. Let's say you are a design and display company creating a display for a county fair. Your client wants a combination of signs, banners, flyers, and brochures, along with a booth design. You set your best designer in motion to design the copy and look of things, but meanwhile, you assign someone to procure what essential supplies you will need. So far, you could be having one of your people contact printers to get pricing for the number of flyers and/or brochures your client wants, and another to take an inventory of what sign and banner materials you already have on hand - vinyl or paint colors, banner sizes, pre-cut blanks. This way, once the client meeting is complete and you have a good idea of what is going into the installation, you can match it to your inventory and see if there are things on hand that you can use to get started, while someone else goes and gets the things you still need.

7) Control clients by communicating properly. Many times, it's hard to work smart because your clients will insist that their job is a big rush. Instead of scrambling to get that job done, make sure your clients understand in the initial meeting what your normal turnaround time for their job would be. If you know you will need two weeks, don't let the client squeeze you into one week unless that client is willing to pay extra for the rush. Most businesses have more than one client, yet many clients forget that their job is not the only one you're working on.

Stick to your policies. If you charge extra to rush a job, don't deviate from that, ever. It's unfair to apply policies to some customers and not others. When one client comes in and is very pushy, feeling entitled to your undivided attention immediately, often, you can simply say something like, "Sure, we can rush the job for you, but I need to let you know that it will cost extra - probably as much as 50% more than the original quote, for the rush." It's amazing how quickly this type of client stands down, saying, "Oh, forget that - it's not that big a rush. We can wait." Just let them know that you are willing to rush their jobs, but by doing so, you must move other customers who were "in line" before them out of the way - causing you to run those jobs behind. Plus, you need different workers to complete different jobs, and rushing requires you to pay them overtime, rather than allowing more time to complete the job during regular hours. This is smart - it lets your clients know that you really know your stuff, plus it relieves your schedule or makes you more money.

Give one to three choices - never more. Handing a swatch book to a client and saying, "Tell me which colors you are interested in" is deadly. Too many choices will cause horrible delays as the customer peruses ALL possibilities, and later tends to second-guess every decision, wanting to see it now "In green?" or how about "In this chartreuse? It's just a shade different, but..." Oy. Instead, say things like, "Do you like this blue or this green better?" Lots of the jobs you do will instantly suggest certain tools, colors, approaches, materials, etc. You can also attempt to influence the client in the direction you think best for his purpose. Use your expertise to narrow down the critical choices right away: "We can paint, which will be expensive to fix when it weathers, about 3 - 5 years from now, or we can use 5-year vinyl, or 10-year vinyl for the letters. The best stuff only costs a few dollars more."

Never willingly trap yourself into accepting a bad job. You know when a job is going to be great. You also know when you get that "uh-oh" feeling that something is not right. A client or boss who pressures you into areas where you are not comfortable, either because it is an unreasonable expectation or because it's outside your scope needs to be aware immediately of your discomfort with the job as proposed. Make any misgivings clear instantly, and in front of others, if possible. If you are self-employed, declining a job like this is much smarter, even though it's so hard to let that money go when you depend on every job for your livelihood. Still, a client who doesn't pay because you didn't adhere to every jot and tittle of his demands (and some are just breathtakingly demanding) is not a good customer in the end, and if you work for hours and end up not being paid all or part of what you worked for - especially when you were sweating bullets over it the whole time - is not smart. And it's the hardest work you'll ever do.

Work as hard and as efficiently as possible, and finish each job as quickly as you can. Hit every job with everything you've got. Getting it done quickly and efficiently - while you have the time - is much smarter than looking at the schedule and telling yourself you have three more days to get it done, and then going to a long lunch or off to play tennis or whatever. You don't know what will happen tomorrow - you might come down with the flu. Figuring that you will need only one day to complete that job if nothing goes wrong and then sitting on it just because you can is dumb. If you end up getting sick, you might not even be well enough to finish on time, let alone early. Running out the clock on jobs when you don't absolutely need to can force a rush at the finish line, or worse, deprives you of opportunities you might not have otherwise.

Example: you're the self-employed designer mentioned above. Today is Wednesday. You have a big job due for Client A on Friday. You know the job will only take about 8 hours if all goes well. You could quit at 4pm and go to a ballgame with friends, leaving you all day tomorrow to finish so that the job will be ready for pickup on Friday morning. Or you could put your head down and work until 7pm today instead of your usual 6pm. If you do this, you will be finished today - the client can pick it up on Thursday morning, a full day ahead of schedule. You decide to sacrifice the ballgame and get the job done tonight. On Thursday morning, Client B comes in, panicked because he has a job which he needs finished by Friday - you've worked with him before, and he realizes he will have to pay a rush charge to get it done that quickly. You accept the job on a rush basis, knowing you have cleared your schedule and can easily turn this around in time during regular hours - you will work no overtime, but still receive rush pay. Had you gone to that ballgame, Client A's job would still be sitting there, undone, and in front of this job, and you would have to work all day today to finish it, then be forced to pull an all-nighter to finish Client B's rush job. But because you sacrificed your fun at the ballgame: You can call Client A on Thursday and let him know he can come and pick up his job, plus, you can do the new job, be Client B's hero - and you can get his job to him by Friday! On top of that, you can even give Client B a slight discount (from the rate he was willing to pay for the rush job), and still make loads of money you wouldn't have been able to make at all, had you allowed Client A's job to run out until Friday, slacking until the last minute.

Recognize the point of 'diminishing returns.' The above steps do not imply that you should work yourself to the point of exhaustion. You need to protect your health and the integrity of your job. Working yourself to a frazzle constantly makes you prone to mistakes. When you're so tired that you realize it's taking you twice or three times longer to do a job than normal, you need to call it a day. Rest at least a few hours, and come back fresher, so that you can be strong at the end of the job. Learn how to power nap.

Finish strong. It's sooooo important! Being dead tired and sluggish at the finish line is not smart - it's foolish. Be sure that you are well rested at deadline time. On the day a client is expected to pick up his or her job, go over it with a fine-toothed comb - and this means checking the finished product against the original instructions, making sure they match up. Check it for accuracy and detail, make any adjustments, corrections or touch-ups well ahead of the time the client will arrive. Making sure every last detail has been checked and re-verified will make you confident and calm when your client comes to pick up the job. You can present it proudly, knowing that everything has been done to ensure the client will be happy with the finished product. Your confidence spills over to the client, which also makes it easier to ask for that final payment - when you see the client smiling and appreciative of the work you've done for him or her. This works for any project you have to do in life.

Tips
When you can work, do. Don't slack or allow time to run out so that you're rushing at the end to meet a deadline.
When you're sick, stay home and rest until you are well. You make too many mistakes when you're ill or tired to call that "working smart."
Learn to make your money work for you. Working a lot and spending every penny you make is NOT working smart!

Warnings
It's mentioned above that you should avoid taking a bad job. By that, it's meant that you know that it's a sort of thing you aren't good at, or that is not part of the usual services you offer, or that it's something you don't know much about. Instead of trying to bs your way through it, tell the truth. And if you get an "uh-oh" feeling from the client, don't take the job. If you have a sense right away that this client is not on the same page with you, either you must take steps immediately to get them there, or you must not take the job. This doesn't suggest that a difficult client is a bad client - often, a difficult client isn't really so difficult at all, once s/he knows you and trusts you to do the good job s/he requires. But one who constantly grinds for discounts, tries to get you to cut corners to save money, or changes scope of job or deadlines in the middle of everything, this is someone who will work your last nerve. You must ask yourself if the money you make on these jobs is worth the time, effort and tears.
There is one other situation you should take caution with, and that is allowing the customer to make changes mid-stream, causing you to go out of pocket much more than you originally planned. A little tweak is one thing. A big change should stop everything while you re-think - and re-bid. The client should be made aware instantly that it's not "just a little change", and that making changes in mid-job could cost significantly more. Don't allow yourself to be suckered into making "just a little adjustment" more than one time during a job. Some clients have this down to a science, asking for "small changes" several times when you're already heavily into the project. Many huge problems and disagreements (usually resulting in you not getting paid as you should have, had you bid the job this way originally) start with "small changes."

Positive Thinking Through Self Talk!!

2009-03-30T02:51:00.000-07:00

Positive thinking helps with stress management and can even improve your health. Overcome negative self-talk by recognizing it and practicing with some examples provided.

Is your glass half-empty or half-full? How you answer this age-old question about positive thinking may reflect your outlook on life, your attitude toward yourself, and whether you're optimistic or pessimistic.

In fact, some studies show that these personality traits — optimism and pessimism — can affect how well you live and even how long you live.

With this in mind, take a refresher course in positive thinking. Learn how to put positive thinking into action. Positive thinking is a key part of an effective stress management strategy.

Understanding positive thinking and self-talk
Self-talk is the endless stream of thoughts that run through your head every day. These automatic thoughts can be positive or negative. Some of your self-talk comes from logic and reason. Other self-talk may arise from misconceptions that you create because of lack of information.

If the thoughts that run through your head are mostly negative, your outlook on life is likely pessimistic. If your thoughts are mostly positive, you're likely an optimist — someone who practices positive thinking.

Living longer and happier through positive thinking
Researchers continue to explore the effects of positive thinking and optimism on health. Health benefits that positive thinking may provide include:

• Decreased negative stress
• A sense of well-being and improved health
• Better coping skills during hardships

It's unclear why people who engage in positive thinking experience these health benefits. But one theory is that having a positive outlook enables you to cope better with stressful situations, which reduces the harmful health effects of stress on your body.

How positive thinking gives way to negative thinking
But what if your self-talk is mainly negative? That doesn't mean you're doomed to an unhappy life. Negative self-talk just means that your own misperceptions, lack of information and distorted ideas have overpowered your capacity for logic and reason.
Some common forms of negative and irrational self-talk include:

• Filtering. You magnify the negative aspects of a situation and filter out all of the positive ones. For example, say you had a great day at work. You completed your tasks ahead of time and were complimented for doing a speedy and thorough job. But you forgot one minor step. That evening, you focus only on your oversight and forget about the compliments you received.
• Personalizing. When something bad occurs, you automatically blame yourself. For example, you hear that an evening out with friends is canceled and you assume that the change in plans is because no one wanted to be around you.
• Catastrophizing. You automatically anticipate the worst. You refuse to go out with friends for fear that you'll make a fool of yourself. Or one change in your daily routine leads you to think the entire day will be a disaster.
• Polarizing. You see things only as good or bad, black or white. There is no middle ground. You feel that you have to be perfect or that you're a total failure.

You can learn positive thinking
Instead of giving in to negative self-talk, weed out misconceptions and irrational thinking and then challenge them with rational, positive thoughts. When you do this, your self-talk will gradually become realistic and self-affirming — you engage in positive thinking.

You can learn to turn negative thinking into positive thinking. The process is simple, but it takes time and practice — you are creating a new habit, after all.

Periodically during the day, stop and evaluate what you're thinking. If you find that your thoughts are mainly negative, try to find a way to put a positive spin on them.

Start by following one simple rule: Don't say anything to yourself that you wouldn't say to anyone else. Examples of typical negative self-talk and how you might apply a positive thinking twist include:

Negative self-talk
I've never done it before.
It's too complicated.
I don't have the
resources.
There's not enough time.
There's no way it will work.
It's too radical a change.
No one bothers to communicate with me.
I'm not going to get any better at this.

Positive Self-Talk
It's an opportunity to learn something new.
I'll tackle it from a different angle.
Necessity is the mother of invention.
Let's re-evaluate some priorities.
I can try to make it work.
Let's take a chance.
I'll see if I can open the channels of communication.
I'll give it another try.

Practicing positive thinking every day
If you tend to have a negative outlook, don't expect to become an optimist overnight. But with practice, eventually your self-talk will automatically contain less self-criticism and more self-acceptance. You may also become less critical of the world around you.

Practicing positive self-talk will improve your outlook. When your state of mind is generally optimistic, you're able to handle everyday stress in a constructive way. That ability may contribute to the widely observed health benefits of positive thinking.

Beauty at every stage!!

2009-03-28T13:19:00.000-07:00

We tend to associate youth with beauty, but the truth is that beauty transcends every age. Just as a deciduous tree is stunning in all its stages—from its full leafy green in the summer to its naked skeleton during winter and everything in between—human beings are beautiful throughout their life spans.

The early years of our lives tend to be about learning and experiencing as much as we possibly can. We move through the world like sponges, absorbing the ideas of other people and the world. Like a tree in spring, we are waking up to the world. In this youthful phase of life, our physical strength, youth, and beauty help open doors and attract attention. Gradually, we begin to use the information we have gathered to form ideas and opinions of our own. As we cultivate our philosophy about life, our beauty becomes as much about what we are saying, doing, and creating as it is about our appearance. Like a tree in summer, we become full, expressive, beautiful, and productive.

When the time comes for us to let go of the creations of our middle lives, we are like a tree in autumn dropping leaves, as we release our past attachments and preparing for a new phase of growth. The children move on, and careers shift or end. The lines on our faces, the stretch marks, and the grey hairs are beautiful testaments to the fullness of our experience. In the winter of our lives, we become stripped down to our essence like a tree. We may become more radiant than ever at this stage, because our inner light shines brighter through our eyes as time passes. Beauty at this age comes from the very core of our being—our essence. This essence is a reminder that there is nothing to fear in growing older and that there is a kind of beauty that comes only after one has spent many years on earth.

Free from Bondages!!

2009-03-26T00:58:00.000-07:00

THE ELEPHANT'S BONDAGE

As my friend was passing the elephants, he suddenly stopped, confused by the fact that these huge creatures were being held by only a small rope tied to their front leg. No chains, no cages. It was obvious that the elephants could, at anytime, break away from the ropes they were tied to but for some reason, they did not. My friend saw a trainer nearby and asked why these beautiful, magnificent animals just stood there and made no attempt to get away.

"Well," he said, "when they are very young and much smaller we use the same size rope to tie them and, at that age, it's enough to hold them. As they grow up, they are conditioned to believe they cannot break away. They believe the rope can still hold them, so they never try to break free."

My friend was amazed. These animals could at any time break free from their bonds but because they believed they couldn't, they were stuck right where they were.

REFLECTION

Like the elephants, how many of us go through life hanging onto a belief that we cannot do something or change something, simply because we failed at it once before or have a pre-conception or mis-conception about something?

We become so attached and entangled to the same views, thoughts, misconceptions and go round and round in this vicious cycle that we suffer due to bondage, caught in the web of maya or illusion.

So we should all make an attempt to grow further and be free and liberated from such unneccesary bondages in life, which are nothing but just like the unnesseccary heavy luggages we carry while travelling which makes our journey of life only even more difficult and hard to cross.

Be bold and have courage to make an attempt to free yourself consciously from such bondages in life, you may once or twice fail in your attempts, but NEVER fail to make an attempt!!

"Bondage is of the mind; freedom too is of the mind. If you say 'I am a free soul. I am a son of God who can bind me?...' free you shall be". - Sri Ramakrishna Paramahansa.

"The moment I have realized God sitting in the temple of every human body, the moment I stand in reverence before every human being and see God in him - that moment I am free from bondage, everything that binds vanishes, and I am free." - Swami Vivekananda.

16 Qualities of Highly Creative People!!

2009-03-26T00:48:00.000-07:00

If they work for them, they can work for you too!

“There is no use trying,” said Alice. “One can’t believe impossible things.” “I daresay you haven’t had much practice,” said the Queen. “When I was your age, I always did it for half an hour a day. Why, sometimes I’ve believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast.” - Lewis Carroll

Many people believe that creativity is inborn and only a chosen few are creative. While it is true that creativity is inborn, it is not true that only a chosen few are creative.

Everyone is born creative. In the process of growing up, educating yourself and adapting yourself to your environment, you slowly add blocks to your creativity and forget that you had it in the first place.

The difference between a creative person and a person who is not so creative is not in the creativity that they were born with but in the creativity that they have lost.

How can you enhance your creative ability? One possible way is to observe the habits of creative people, identify the ones that you feel will work for you and then make a plan to cultivate them.

Here are 16 habits of creative people. If you cultivate some of them, you will feel an increase in your level of creativity. In the process, you will also feel tickled by life!

1. Creative people are full of curiosity.
Creative people are wonderstruck. They are tickled by the newness of every moment. They have lots of questions. They keep asking what, why, when, where and how. A questioning mind is an open mind. It is not a knowing mind. Only an open mind can be creative. A knowing mind can never be creative.

A questioning stance sensitizes the mind in a very special way and it is able to sense what would have been missed otherwise.

2. Creative people are problem-friendly.
When there is a problem, some people can be seen wringing up their hands. Their first reaction is to look for someone to blame. Being faced with a problem becomes a problem. Such people can be called problem-averse.

Creative people, on the other hand, are problem-friendly. They just roll up their sleeves when faced with a problem. They see problems as opportunities to improve the quality of life. Being faced with a problem is never a problem.

You get dirty and take a bath every day. You get tired and relax every day. Similarly, you have problems that need to be solved every day. Life is a fascinating rhythm of problems and solutions.

To be problem-averse is to be life-averse. To be problem-friendly is to be life-friendly. Problems come into your life to convey some message. If you run away from them, you miss the message.

3. Creative people value their ideas.
Creative people realize the value of an idea. They do not take any chance with something so important. They carry a small notepad to note down ideas whenever they occur. (I usually type it in my mobile/laptop whichever available.)

Many times, just because they have a notepad and are looking for ideas to jot down, they can spot ideas which they would have otherwise missed.

4. Creative people embrace challenges.
Creative people thrive on challenges. They have a gleam in their eyes as soon as they sniff one. Challenges bring the best out of them – reason enough to welcome them.

5. Creative people are full of enthusiasm.
Creative people are enthusiastic about their goals. This enthusiasm works as fuel for their journey, propelling them to their goals.

6. Creative people are persistent.
Creative people know it well that people may initially respond to their new ideas like the immune system responds to a virus. They’ll try to reject the idea in a number of ways. Creative people are not surprised or frustrated because of this. Nor do they take it personally.

They understand it takes time for a new idea to be accepted. In fact, the more creative the idea, the longer it takes for it to be appreciated.

7. Creative people are perennially dissatisfied.
Creative people are acutely aware of their dissatisfactions and unfulfilled desires. However, this awareness does not frustrate them. As a matter of fact, they use this awareness as a stimulus to realize their dreams.

8. Creative people are optimists.
Creative people generally have a deeply held belief that most, if not all, problems can be solved. No challenge is too big to be overcome.

This doesn’t mean they are always happy and never depressed. They do have their bad moments but they don’t generally get stumped by a challenge.

9. Creative people make positive Judgment.
A new idea is delicate. It can be killed by a sneer or a yawn. It can be stabbed to death by a quip and worried to death by a right man’s brow – a businessman Charles Brower

The ability to hold off on judging or critiquing an idea is important in the process of creativity. Often great ideas start as crazy ones - if critique is applied too early the idea will be killed and never developed into something useful and useable.

This doesn’t mean there is no room for critique or judgment in the creative process but there is a time and place for it and creative people recognize that.

10. Creative people go for the big kill.
Creative people realize that the first idea is just the starting point. It is in the process of fleshing it out that some magical cross-connections happen and the original ‘normal’ idea turns into a killer idea.

11. Creative people are prepared to stick it out.
Creative people who actually see their ideas come to fruition have the ability to stick with their ideas and see them through - even when the going gets tough. This is what sets them apart from others. Stick-ability is the key.

12. Creative people do not fall in love with an idea.
Creative people recognize how dangerous it is to fall in love with an idea. Falling in love with an idea means stopping more ideas from coming to their mind. They love the process of coming up with ideas, not necessarily the idea.

13. Creative people recognize the environment in which they are most creative.
Creative people do most of their thinking in an environment which is most conducive to their creativity. If they are unable to influence their physical environment, they recreate their ‘favourite’ creative environment in their minds.

14. Creative people are good at reframing any situation.
Reframes are a different way of looking at things. Being able to reframe experiences and situations is a very powerful skill.

Reframing allows you to look at a situation from a different angle. It is like another camera angle in a football match. And a different view has the power to change your entire perception of the situation.

Reframing can breathe new life into dead situations. It can motivate demoralized teams. It helps you to spot opportunities that you would have otherwise missed.

15. Creative people are friends with the unexpected.
Creative people have the knack of expecting the unexpected and finding connections between unrelated things. It is this special quality of mind that evokes serendipitous events in their lives.
Having honed the art of making happy discoveries, they are able to evoke serendipity more often than others.

16. Creative people are not afraid of failures.
Creative people realize that the energy that creates great ideas also creates errors. They know that failure is not really the opposite of success.

In fact, both failure and success are on the same side of the spectrum because both are the result of an attempt made. Creative people look at failure as a stopover on way to success, just a step away from it.

Giving up Negative Thoughts!!

2009-03-24T03:09:00.000-07:00

THE GARDERNER AND HIS GARDEN

There was once an earnest gardener who loved his work and his produce. One day he was walking through his delightful garden and happened to notice a weed. The gardener was particularly tired so he decided to leave it.

The next day he had to leave to visit his relatives in another country for two weeks. When he came back, the back yard was covered in weeds and all his produce was dead!

REFLECTION

Likewise, if we allow just one bad thought in our head and fail to remove it, it will sprout and instead of having to pick one weed, we will have too much to control.

If we destroy our negative thoughts, by allowing positive ones to grow, they will display in our personality like a beautiful garden.

Thats the power of positive thought. We are, what our thoughts are.

We should always entertain only good and positive thoughts in our mind and never give way for anything negative!

Be alert and conscious of your thoughts and pick out the weeds of your negative thoughts consciously and quickly, at the right moment!

Don't forget the ROOTS!!

2009-03-21T12:54:00.000-07:00

Most of us are familiar with the idea that we are not human beings having spiritual experiences; instead, we are spiritual beings having human experiences. We hear this and even though we may experience a resounding yes in our bodies, we may not take the time to really acknowledge the truth of these statements. Integrating this idea into how we view ourselves can broaden our sense of who we are and help us appreciate ourselves as brave spirits on an important mission to learn and grow here on earth.

As spiritual beings, we are visitors in this physical realm. The fact that we came here and lost all memory of what happened to us before we were born is one of the many reasons that it takes so much courage for a soul to incarnate on earth. This is why spiritual inquiry so often feels like a remembering because it is. Remembering that we are spiritual beings is part of the work that we are here on earth to do. When we operate from a place of remembering, we tap into the wisdom that our spirit accumulated even before we stepped into this lifetime. Remembering who we are can give us the patience to persevere when we become overwhelmed or frustrated. It can give us the courage to work through the most daunting challenges and help us trust the ancient wisdom we carry that is offered to us by our intuition.

We have chosen to be on earth because there is something we want to learn that can only happen by inhabiting a body. Some of us are here to repay a debt, learn about love, or teach forgiveness. Most of us are here for a combination of reasons, we carry this information in our souls, all we have to do is remember. As you go through your journey, try not to forget how brave you are, being here now. Honor yourself.

Build Your Resilence!!

2009-03-18T06:21:00.000-07:00

Resilience, decisiveness, adaptability — in these trying and rapidly changing times, leaders need these skills more than ever. The good news is that if these skills are not already in your leadership toolbox, you can develop them by managing your thoughts, actions, and behaviors. Here are a few simple things you can do right now:

Think positively. Be hopeful and optimistic. Focus on what you want, not what you fear you will lose.
Let go. Accept that change is going to happen with or without you. Know what is beyond your control.
Take decisive action. Tackle problems, don't avoid them.
Take a long-term perspective. Don't get hung up on a specific event or a day on the market.

Today's Management Tip was adapted from "Resilience: How to Build a Personal Strategy for Survival," by Gill Corkindale.

Managing Workplace Ambience!!

2009-03-18T06:20:00.000-07:00

Times may be tough, but there are ways to sustain and improve performance without spending a lot of money. Just ask employees.

According to research from Forum, a corporate strategy consultancy, workplace climate has a significant effect not just on productivity and engagement, but on the bottom line, as well.

"Climate may sound soft, but it's actually been shown to make a very hard difference to organizational performance, including financial results," said Jocelyn Davis, executive vice president of research and development at Forum.

Most important, new Forum research suggests frontline managers have the greatest impact on workplace climate, accounting for about 70 percent of the variability. Ultimately, this means climate can be managed and improved for better business results.

"A leader might expect things like company strategy or company history or systems and technology to have a huge effect on climate, but actually those things don't have that much effect," Davis said. "The thing that has the most effect is what the manager of that workgroup does on a daily basis. If you can get your managers to do some fairly simple things, that's going to have a large effect on climate and that, in turn, will have a large effect on performance and results.

"In these difficult economic times, climate is really the perfect lever for an organization and for managers because it is a relatively cost-effective, simple approach to sustaining or improving performance."

To that end, Forum has developed a matrix by which companies can measure their workplace climates. The matrix consists of six dimensions: clarity, standards, commitments, responsibility, recognition and teamwork. Each dimension calls for certain management practices or behaviors that can lead to improved performance, Davis said.

For example, clarity is about the degree to which people understand the organization's overall goals, as well as the specific requirements of their jobs, she said. "An example of a management practice might be explaining tasks thoroughly when they're assigned to people, as opposed to being vague or unspecific."

The standards element relates to the degree to which employees feel management emphasizes high levels of performance, Davis said.

"An example of something managers can do there is checking performance against established goals regularly," she said.

Commitment refers to the degree to which employees are dedicated to achieving goals and contributing to the organization's overall success. A useful management practice or behavior in this arena might be to involve people in setting their performance goals.

"Responsibility is the fourth one, and that's all about the extent to which people feel personally responsible for their work and accountable for solving problems," Davis said. "One thing that managers can do there is, for example, encouraging people to exercise their own judgment in resolving business challenges."

Recognition, the fifth dimension, is about the degree to which employees feel rewarded and recognized for doing good work. In addition to providing positive reinforcement, managers also should work on giving open and honest feedback, Davis said.

"It's not just about getting praise: People want to know that what they're doing is being paid attention to and recognized," she said.

The sixth and final dimension, teamwork, refers to the degree to which employees feel they belong to an organization characterized by trust, cohesion and pride. An example of a positive management practice would be to encourage people to collaborate across the organization and avoid being siloed, Davis said.

Managers can't do it all, however. Organization must assess their climates to determine which dimensions are most important.

"As a first step, survey the organization and have each manager report on their employees' perceptions of climate within that work group and their perceptions of what the manager is doing or not doing," Davis said. "Step two is each manager creating an action plan based on that survey data. The third and fourth steps [are] about involving [the] team in creating that action plan and then getting the help [you] need to close the gaps."

[About the Author: Agatha Gilmore is a senior editor for Talent Management magazine.]

Talent Leaders!!

2009-03-18T06:16:00.000-07:00

Talent executives are carrying the baton in a very special race. If they do a great job, their organizations' talent management strategies may last long beyond their tenure.

Unlike in the Olympics, talent leaders may be given a large say in determining when the handoff will occur, and they can determine who the new baton carrier will be.

In this race, you as the baton carrier will need to balance two priorities that often conflict with each other. On the one hand, you need to produce quarterly results. Analysts and senior leaders may forgive a few bad quarters, but if you have too many missteps, you will find yourself quickly removed from the race.

On the other hand, you have to do what is in the best long-terms interest of your organization. If you don't, your company eventually will be out of the race, and you will have failed in your responsibility as baton carrier.

While carrying the baton of leadership, you can begin to prepare your successor for the handoff. In a relay race, while preparing for the handoff, one runner has to speed up while the other has to slow down. Talent leaders must make sure their successors are up to speed as they slow down to hand over the baton.

A varied audience is watching every stride, and the audience members care more about your performance than the people in the stands care about the performance of Olympic athletes.

Stockholders are frantically checking your time to make sure they are getting a return on their invested dollars, while wondering if you can maintain momentum and keep delivering as you near the end of the race. Analysts are counting to make sure you meet commitments and pondering your chances for success in the next or perhaps final laps of the race.

Customers are watching to make sure you deliver value, and wondering what you have in store for them in the future. Even employees are watching closely, critically reviewing your every move to make sure your deeds match your words. They will review this information and then evaluate whether your leadership will maintain the organization as their best career choice.

While everyone who is counting on you will cheer wildly if you run a great leg and make a successful handoff, unlike in the Olympics, you won't get to stand on a podium at the end of the race. You won't get to wear a medal, hear applause or listen to the country's national anthem. After the handoff, you may quickly disappear from view, and everyone will cheer for the next baton carrier.

What will be your legacy?

If you do a great job preparing and developing your successor, you will be known as the leader who took the high road and worked to ensure the organization would become even more successful after your departure. But you must get ready for succession. You may think this will be easy - and you will be wrong. It's almost always tougher than you can imagine.

If you are not forced to hand off the baton before you want to, you may be tempted to hold it and keep running. If you're ahead and are pulling away from the pack, you'll hear the crowd. You're winning, and they won't want you to quit. Even if you fall behind on your leg of the relay, knowing this is the end, you won't want to quit, hand things off and end up being called "the runner who blew the race."

Passing the baton is the final challenge of great leadership. If you do it poorly or drop the baton, you may do grave damage to your organization. If you do it well and if you have a lot of class, you can sit in the stands and applaud as your successor races ahead. You will smile as you watch your successor's face - remember carrying the baton - and look up the track for the next baton carrier, who is eagerly waiting for the handoff.

[About the Author: Dr. Marshall Goldsmith is a world authority in helping successful leaders achieve positive, lasting change in behavior. He is the author or co-editor of 22 books, including The Wall Street Journal No. 1 business best-seller What Got You Here Won't Get You There.]

Handling Emotions!!

2009-03-17T20:59:00.000-07:00

We are born equipped to experience a complex array of diverse emotions. Many of us, however, are uncomfortable confronting our most powerful emotions. We may shy away from delight and despair and deny life’s colors by retreating into a world of monotone grey. We may numb ourselves to what we are truly feeling. It’s easier to suppress our emotions than to deal with them, so we may momentarily turn to pleasures such as alcohol, food, sugar, shopping and too much television. We may even numb our hearts. While it’s normal to temporarily seek distractions as a means of coping with intense emotions, numbing yourself prevents you from confronting your issues and keeps you from ever finding resolution or peace. When you are numb, there is no pain or powerlessness, but there can also be no joy or healing.

The activities that numb you may seem harmless or pleasurable, but using them to numb yourself diminishes the quality of your life. Numbing yourself so that you don’t have to feel intense emotions can often satisfy a surface need while blocking your awareness of a deeper need. You may find solace in food or shopping when what you really need is spiritual nourishment. The less you feel, the less alive you feel. Your feelings add vividness to your experiences and serve to connect you to the world around you. It is possible to disavow yourself of numbing behaviors a little at a time and once again taste life’s rich flavors. When you sense that you are engaging in a particular behavior simply to deaden your emotions, stop and ask yourself why. Examining the feelings that drive you to numb yourself can help you understand what is triggering your desire to emotionally fade out.

With each numbing activity that you cut out of your life, you’ll find yourself being more aware and experiencing a greater emotionally acuity. Senses once shrouded by the fog of numbness become sharp and acute. Traumas and pain long hidden will emerge to the forefront of your consciousness and reveal themselves so that you can heal them. You’ll discover a deeper you—a self that is comfortable experiencing and working through intense emotions with courage and grace.

Doing Away with Emotions!!

2009-03-17T20:47:00.000-07:00

Throughout our lives, we may experience emotions that disturb or distress us. Often, our first reaction is to push our feelings away. We may say, “I don’t want to think about that right now, I’ll think about it later” and we bury our emotions, deny the validity of our feelings, or distract ourselves with other concerns. But the diverse emotions you experience are neither good nor bad—they are simply a part being human. Choosing not to experience pain, anger, or other intense feelings could cause those feelings to become buried deep into your physical body. There, they may linger unresolved and unable to emerge, even as they affect the way you experience the world. Allowing yourself to experience all of your emotions rather than push the more painful ones away can help you come to terms with your feelings so you can experience them and then move on.

It is possible to bring forth the old feelings you have pushed aside and experience them in a safe and enriching way. It may sound silly to set aside time to feel your old wounds that you haven’t dealt with, but this can be a very beneficial healing experience. Find a safel place and pick a time when you can be alone. Make sure that you feel secure and comfortable in your surroundings. Bring to mind the circumstances that originally triggered the emotions you’ve been pushing away. You may need to revisit these circumstances by reading relevant entries in your journal or using visualization to relive your past. Once you have triggered your long-denied emotions, let yourself feel your feelings, and try not to judge your reactions. Cry or sound your emotions if you need to, and don’t block the flow of your feelings. Allow any thoughts that are connected to your emotions to surface. As you release the feelings you have pushed inside of you, you will find yourself healing from ! the experience associated with these emotions.

When you deal with your feelings directly, they can move through you rather than staying stopped up in your body as emotional blocks that can sometimes turn into disease. Acknowledging your emotions, instead of pushing them away, allows you to stay emotionally healthy and in touch with your feelings.

Healing Well - Max Highstein!!

2009-03-17T20:44:00.000-07:00

Max Highstein is noted for his soothing, soft voice, both in conducting guided relaxation and in the composition of his beguiling instrumental music. The Healing Well finds him combining both these voices to help listeners discover their own inner source of physical, mental, and spiritual healing. "Why do some people recover from injury more quickly than others?" asks the female voice who introduces the album. The Healing Well is the chance for any willing listener to become one of those people.

After having guided us through a series of preliminary relaxation exercises, Highstein brings us to our inner well of healing: "As the bucket finds the water deep in the well, know that you are connecting, deep inside, with the strong, loving being that you truly are," Hightstein says. He's not shy or afraid about getting right down into the dream state with you, and you feel his nonjudgmental, loving presence close by if you need him, but not hovering over your every move, making your complete relaxation easy. "It's heavier now, but you find it easy to lift as your body senses that it's about to receive a new level of love and support."

The second track consists of the background music from the meditation, now brought to the forefront. This is usual with Highstein's albums and meant for either coming up out of your guided journey and slowly, gently leaving your state of relaxation, or else staying in it longer to roam through the landscape of your mind, a landscape Highstein has hopefully warmed and broadened with your willing participation. With each note from Highstein's synthesized harps, flutes and keyboards synced to waves in the brain activate the feeling of light entering the body; put on the headphones and listen in the dark and you can feel the sun on your face. As your nerve endings dilate in luxuriance, rest easy on Highstein's cloudy, warm synth beds. Become one with the waking, singing birds in his flutes, and know that all is made and done with right intention.

The Power of Resilence - The Bamboo Tree!!

2009-03-16T08:09:00.000-07:00

One of my fondest memories as a child is going by the river and sitting idly on the bank. There I would enjoy the peace and quiet, watch the water rush downstream, and listen to the chirps of birds and the rustling of leaves in the trees.

I would also watch the bamboo trees bend under pressure from the wind and watch them return gracefully to their upright or original position after the wind had died down.

When I think about the bamboo tree's ability to bounce back or return to it's original position, the word resilience comes to mind.

When used in reference to a person this word means the ability to readily recover from shock, depression or any other situation that stretches the limits of a
person's emotions!

What a profound lesson the bamboo tree has to teach us!

No wonder it's said Nature is the Best Teacher of All Times!!

SPIRITUAL COMMENTARY

Have you ever felt like you are about to snap?

Have you ever felt like you are at your breaking point?

Thankfully, you have survived the experience to live to talk about it.

During the experience you probably felt a mix of emotions that threatened your health.

You felt emotionally drained, mentally exhausted and you most likely endured unpleasant physical symptoms.

Life is a mixture of good times and bad times, happy moments and unhappy moments.

The next time you are experiencing one of those bad times or unhappy moments that take you close to your breaking point, BEND BUT DONT BREAK!

Try your best not to let the situation get the best of you.

A measure of hope will take you through the unpleasant ordeal.

With hope for a better tomorrow or a better situation, things may not be as bad as they seem to be.

The unpleasant ordeal may be easier to deal with if the end result is worth having.

If the going gets tough and you are at your breaking point, show resilience.

Like the bamboo tree, BEND BUT DONT BREAK!!!

How to be a Successful Employee!!

2009-03-16T08:02:00.000-07:00

1. Right Attitude:
First And Foremost, Never Regard Your Work As Just A "Job". Be Passionate About What You Do. Your Frame Of Mind Should Be, "This Position Can Lead To A Higher Position."

2. Expand Your Horizons:
Do More Than What Is Expected Of You. Don't Restrict Yourself To Your Regular Duties And Responsibilities. Doing More Will Increase Your Visibility Within The Company And Will Enable You To Encounter More Challenges. Get Involved And Show Extra Initiative.

3. Be Well Informed:
Keep Abreast Of The Topics And Issues In Your Industry, Whether Through Self-Study Or Classes. Companies Arrange Study Classes And Seminars On Latest Developments In Their Field, Take Advantage Of Those. There Are Numerous Courses, Books, Tapes, Conferences And Seminars That Are Free Or Very Inexpensive. Ultimately, Stay On Top Of New Trends.

4. Set Specific Goals And Work Towards Accomplishing Them:
What Is The Position You Are Striving For? Do You Know The Pre- Requisites For Qualifying For That Post? If You Can Determine In Advance What Outcome You Want, Taking The Necessary Steps To Achieve That Outcome Will Be Easier. (Don't Forget To Implement Effective Work Habits Such As Planning Your Day. When You Are Organized, You Can Accomplish More.)

5. Maintain A Record Of Your Accomplishments:
What Is Your Contribution In The Growth Of Your Company? An Excellent Strategy Is To Develop A Personal Career Portfolio. Neatly Compile Records Of All Work-Related Achievements, Samples Of Exceptional Work, Letters Of Recognition, And Other Documents That Demonstrate Good Job Performance.

6. Develop A Network:
This Is Very Important. Maintain A Good Rapport With People In The Organisation. Remember Other People Play A Crucial Role In Helping You Climb The Promotion Ladder. Increase Your Organisational Awareness. Learn About All The Departments And Their Goals And What They Are Doing To Reach Their Goals. Act Like You Fit The Part Of The Position You Want -- Dress, Speak And Act Professionally.

7. Be Proactive:
Let Your Supervisor Know That You Are Interested In Progressing And Learning More. Demonstrate Your Ability To Handle Additional Responsibility. Discuss About Your Future Prospects With The Organization During The Performance Review Process.

Follow These Rules And Work Hard, Remember The Saying -The Whole World Steps Aside For The Man Who Knows Where He Is Going.

Adjust to Life - A Short Parable!!

2009-03-16T07:41:00.000-07:00

A man and his girlfriend were married. It was a large celebration. All of their friends and family came to see the lovely ceremony and to partake of the festivities and celebrations. A wonderful time was had by all.

The bride was gorgeous in her white wedding gown and the groom was very dashing in his black tuxedo. Everyone could tell that the love they had for each other was true.

A few months later, the wife comes to the husband with a proposal: "I read in a magazine, a while ago, about how we can strengthen our marriage." she offered.

"Each of us will write a list of the things that we find a bit annoying with the other person. Then, we can talk about how we can fix them together and make our lives happier together."

The husband agreed, so each of them went to a separate room in the house and thought of the things that annoyed them about the other. They thought about this question for the rest of the day and wrote down what they came up with.

The next morning, at the breakfast table, they decided that they would go over their lists.

"I'll start," offered the wife. She took out her list. It had many items on it enough to fill 3 pages, in fact. As she started reading the list of the little annoyances, she noticed that tears were starting to appear in her husbands eyes.

"What's wrong?" she asked. "Nothing" the husband replied, "keep reading your lists."

The wife continued to read until she had read all three pages to her husband. She neatly placed her list on the table and folded her hands over top of it.

"Now, you read your list and then we'll talk about the things on both of our lists." She said happily.

Quietly the husband stated, "I don't have anything on my list. I think that you are perfect the way that you are. I don't want you to change anything for me. You are lovely and wonderful and I wouldn't want to try and change anything about you."

The wife, touched by his honesty and the depth of his love for her and his acceptance of her, turned her head and wept.

In life, there are enough times when we are disappointed, depressed and annoyed. We don't really have to go looking for them.

We have a wonderful world that is full of beauty, light and promise.

Why waste time in this world looking for the bad, disappointing or annoying when we can look around us, and see the wondrous things before us?

Lessons to Learn from This Message:

I believe that WE ARE HAPPIEST WHEN we see and praise the good and try our best to forget the bad. Nobody's perfect but we can find perfect ness in them to change the way we see them.

Are you HAPPY with your JOB?

2009-03-14T23:45:00.000-07:00

In our search to define ourselves, we often look to our job to show us our worth. Society does not judge all professions equally, however, and it is not uncommon for the individuals who hold what others may consider to be ordinary or menial jobs to feel that they themselves are ordinary or menial. Yet, in truth, many wonderful and wise people throughout history have held what have typically been perceived as ordinary jobs, and this in no way has had any bearing on whether or not they have managed to contribute their skills and talents to the world. Whether you work in business, education, medicine, retail, or another profession, you worth is inherent to who you are and not what you do for a living.

A job that you enjoy, lets you meet your needs, and allows you to live in accordance with your values will always be more gratifying than a high-status job that you dislike. But while experiencing professional satisfaction can be a vital part of being fulfilled by your work, it is important to remember that it is possible to find happiness in any job. This is because what you do is often less important than how you do it. Your attitude and intention can turn a mediocre job into work that fulfills you because of the way that you approach it. If you do your job well and what you do benefits others, then you are doing work that is making this world a better place.

If you are happy in your current line of work and feel that it allows you to be yourself and live authentically while meeting your emotional and physical needs and allowing time for you to enjoy the fruits of your labor, then you have found a job that adds value to your life. If you are a waitress, then be the best waitress you can, take pride in your work and others will notice your passion. You can contribute your talents and skills to this world while doing any job. It is not the kind of work you do that allows you to be of service. It is you who must choose to be of service through the work that you do.

Intution!!

2009-03-13T09:34:00.000-07:00

Everyone has experienced insights that can be referred to as intuition. You have a hunch or a feeling about something and it appears to be coming from a source other than your thinking
mind and its rational processes.

Some dictionary definitions of intuition include:
"instinctive knowing;" "an impression that something might be the case;" "the direct knowing or learning of something without the conscious use of reasoning."

Intuition seems to have a mysterious, "out of this world" nature - that somehow we have tapped into information beyond our human thinking. We may have these intuitive feelings about very mundane matters - such as whether we feel our favorite sports team will win or whether a particular person we just met is honest.

Of course, we may also have intuitive feelings about major decisions in our lives - such as moving to a different city or country, or making a career transition. We hear a whisper or get a gut feeling that we should follow the information that is being communicated to us. As I see it, the biggest challenge is determining when we are truly receiving intuitive guidance as opposed to receiving the thoughts generated by our rational thinking mind. This distinction is of vital importance since the intuitive guidance is extremely reliable and beneficial, whereas the
thinking mind's data is often flawed and doesn't always serve us.

I'm finding that the intuitive guidance is accessed when the mind is quiet. Then we tap into information the mind can't discover through its rational processes. In other words, we
must get the mind out of the way for intuition to flourish.

Perhaps your experience is different. The thinking mind loves to masquerade as your intuition, to convince you that it is delivering "special" knowledge. For example, you have a feeling that your soccer team will win the match - and your team wins. You say immediately afterward, "I
KNEW my team would win today. I just had a feeling about it."

In my experience, this is rarely your intuition at work. It's your ego claiming to have special powers. What we often overlook is how many times we have feelings that DON'T turn out to be accurate.

In other words, there are dozens of times we feel our team will win - and our team loses. We have a hunch we will get the promotion - and we don't get it. We think it's going to
rain tomorrow and it doesn't.

Of course, when our "guess" is right, we want credit for knowing something in advance. When our guess is wrong, the mind quickly dismisses the subject and moves on...until the next
time when we are right and we can say, "I knew it!"

Consider how YOUR intuition operates. Most importantly, be ruthlessly honest with yourself about when your "intuition" doesn't come true. How can you tell when something is coming from your thinking mind... and when you are directly accessing something beyond the mind?

Is your mind quiet when the intuition is felt...or do you feel you are able to receive the intuition when the mind is engaged in thinking?

What have you learned about how intuition works in your life?

Importance of "Forgiving"

2009-03-12T20:36:00.000-07:00

My father was a carpenter. He used his hands to pour concrete and hammer nails. He also used his hands to beat me.

I was a tall child, but sickly—I had asthma—and when I went to work with him, the sawdust made me cough. I preferred staying home, writing and drawing. I conjured up other worlds: worlds in which I didn't worry about being poor, in which I was someone else's child, a child who lived in a mansion and had a dog. My father—a man with a third-grade education who was orphaned at 2 and sent to work in the fields at 5—understood only the physical. He thought he could beat the softness out of me and make me hard like him.

When I was 21, I left my house in New Orleans and headed to Atlanta to be a playwright. I got a day job as a bill collector and scrimped and saved to put on my play I Know I've Been Changed— a musical about recovering from an abusive childhood. But even though I was writing about recovering, I wasn't doing it. Every day I felt angry and bitter and terribly lonely. I rarely dated, and if a woman told me she loved me, I headed for the door. My play bombed; 30 people came on opening weekend. I put it on the next year and the year after that, and each time, it bombed again. Finally, 28 years old, out of money and months behind on my rent, I started sleeping in my car. When the car broke down, I asked my father to cosign on a new one, as he had just done for my sister (the light-skinned sister he adored). When he refused, I forged his signature. And when the car got repossessed, he called me, yelling. Sitting in that little room I'd just scraped together enough money to rent, listening to him berate me, something snapped. Something dormant in me woke up, and I began to yell back.

I told him that he'd hated me since I was born, that I didn't deserve the things he'd done to me. Everything I'd ever felt or thought—even things I hadn't been aware of—came out. When I was done, the line was silent for a long time. And then, for the first time ever, my father said, "I love you."

After we hung up, I felt light, empty, and exhausted. I knew that I would never again look at my father in hurt or anger. But in a strange way, I also sensed that something had died. I sat crying for hours, as if I were in mourning. My energy source, my fight, the rage that had moved me every day—it was all gone.

Slowly but surely, I began to fuel my days with joy instead of fury. That year—call it coincidence, call it karma—my play sold out. Then it sold out again, and then again. I began to write new plays, and the theme of forgiveness runs through them all. It's simple: When you haven't forgiven those who've hurt you, you turn your back against your future. When you do forgive, you start walking forward.

I can't get over how powerful his last statement is:

When you haven't forgiven those who've hurt you, you turn your back against your future. When you do forgive, you start walking forward.

I understand and agree with the idea that forgiving others is more about your peace of mind then it is about their feelings. You don't have to make it known to those who have hurt you that you have forgiven them.

The issue is learning how to transcend the hurt, how to get to a place in your heart and mind where the hurt is no longer holding you back from fully caring for others and allowing yourself to be cared for by others.

Is it possible to truly forgive all transgressions?

Your "Personal Power"

2009-03-12T20:18:00.000-07:00

Many of us have do not understand what personal power means. We have been given the false notion that power is bad—that it is something we use to exert our will upon others. In fact, when our personal power is intact, we are neither overbearing nor meek. We have a clear sense of our strength and the impact we can have on others. This actually enables us to be more sensitive. Personal power is what permits us to work on behalf of our dreams and desires. It allows us to realize that we are worthy and deserve to be heard. In addition, our personal power lets us extend the respect we know that we deserve to the people around us. There is no reason to be afraid or ashamed of fully owning your power.

In the chakra system, the solar plexus is the seat of personal power. One way to evaluate your sense of power is to breathe into this part of the body. If it feels tight or nervous, it is an indication that you may not be fully expressing your power. You can heal this imbalance by expanding the area of the solar plexus with your breath. You can also visualize a bright yellow sun in this part of your body. Allow its heat to melt any tension, and let its light dissolve any darkness or heaviness. Repeating this exercise on a regular basis can restore and rejuvenate your sense of power.

Another way to nurture your personal power is to honor your dreams and desires by making concrete plans to manifest them in the world. Start by making a list of things you want, and let yourself think big. Choose one goal from the list and commit to bringing it to fruition. In addition, break the goal into tasks that you can work on each day. Know that you deserve to have your dreams come true and that you have the power to bring them into being.

EGO Could Kill You!!

2009-03-12T20:03:00.000-07:00

There was once a learned scientist..

After a lot of practice and efforts, he developed a formula and learned the art of reproducing himself. He did it so perfectly that it was impossible to tell the reproduction from the original.

One day while doing his research, he realized that the Angel of Death was searching for him. In order to remain immortal he reproduced a dozen copies of himself. The reproduction was so meticulous that all of them looked exactly like him. Now when this Angel of Death came down, he was at a loss to know which of the thirteen before him was the original scientist, and confused, he left them all alone and returned back to heaven.

But, not for long, for being an expert in human nature, the Angel came up with a clever idea. He said to the scientist addressing all thirteen of them, "Sir, you must be a genius to have succeeded in making such perfect reproduction formula of yourself. However, I have discovered a flaw in your work, just one tiny little flaw."

The scientist immediately jumped out and shouted, Impossible! where is the flaw?" "Right here" said the Angel, as he picked up the scientist from among the reproductions and carried him off.

The whole purpose of the scientist and his formula of reproduction failed as he could not control his pride and lost his life.

So while one's Knowledge and Skills take one to the top of the ladder and makes successful however the three letter word "EGO" can pull one down immediately.

7 Points to Personality Development!!

2009-03-12T19:54:00.000-07:00

1. Make a list of the most important people in your life, personal and business; think of specific things you could do to improve your relationships with these people.

2. Resolve today to make others feel important whenever you can; start at home with the most valuable people in your life.

3. Develop the habit of listening better when you converse with other people; pay close attention, pause before replying, question for clarification and feed back what they say in your own words.

4. Develop an attitude of gratitude for everything and everyone in your life that you are happy about for any reason; say “thank you” on every occasion.

5. Give “one minute praisings” to your family members, friends, co-workers and other people you meet throughout the day.

6. Maintain a healthy balance between your work and your family life; make plans to spend more quality time with the people you care about the most.

7. Practice forgiving everyone and anyone who has hurt you in any way; let go all past grievances and get so busy working on goals that are important to you that you don’t have time to think about the past.

"Perfection" may not be the Goal!!

2009-03-12T19:46:00.000-07:00

It is good to remember that one of our goals in life is to not be perfect. We often lose track of this aspiration. When we make mistakes, we think that we are failing or not measuring up. But if life is about experimenting, experiencing, and learning, then to be imperfect is a prerequisite. Life becomes much more interesting once we let go of our quest for perfection and aspire for imperfection instead.

This doesn’t mean that we don’t strive to be our best. We simply accept that there is no such thing as perfection—especially in life. All living things are in a ceaseless state of movement. Even as you read this, your hair is growing, your cells are dying and being reborn, and your blood is moving through your veins. Your life changes more than it stays the same. Perfection may happen in a moment, but it will not last because it is an impermanent state. Trying to hold on to perfection or forcing it to happen causes frustration and unhappiness.

In spite of this, many of us are in the habit of trying to be perfect. One way to nudge ourselves out of this tendency is to look at our lives and notice that no one is judging us to see whether or not we are perfect. Sometimes, perfectionism is a holdover from our childhood—an ideal we inherited from a demanding parent. We are adults now, and we can choose to let go of the need to perform for someone else’s approval. Similarly, we can choose to experience the universe as a loving place where we are free to be imperfect. Once we realize this, we can begin to take ourselves less seriously and have more fun. Imperfection is inherent to being human. By embracing your imperfections, you embrace yourself.

Comparing with Others!!

2009-03-11T02:35:00.000-07:00

You are unique. There is no one else like you in the entire universe. In honor of your unique self, it is good to acknowledge and embrace the special qualities that make you the person that you are. One way to do this is to not compare yourself with other people.

It is human nature to want to see how we measure up in comparison to others – especially if we think that they are better than us or have more of something that we want. Yet the truth is that it is not a good use of time to compare ourselves with others because there is no one like us and this makes us incomparable. It is sometimes almost easier to look outside of ourselves and feel like we are deficient in comparison to other people rather than taking responsibility for our own progress in relation to the fulfillment of our life purpose. It actually takes more courage to be self-referential and look at ourselves to see whether we are measuring up to our standards or meeting our full potential. Each of us has very special gifts, and we are here for very specific reasons. We each have a life purpose to fulfill and with this come the lessons that we must learn and the circumstances that we must go through in order to evolve as spiritual beings. To compare our lives to other pe! ople’s lives when we have no idea of what they are here to learn or fulfill doesn’t benefit anyone – especially you.

Instead, if we can accept ourselves, appreciate the special talents and qualities that we alone possess, and realize that each of us is going through certain kinds of experiences for a reason, we are less likely focus so much on what other people have or are doing. Realizing and valuing our uniqueness enables us to bring out the best in ourselves so we can get on with living rather than preoccupying ourselves with meaningless comparisons. Try to not compare yourself to others, and you will see how much you have and how special you are.

A "Field Trip" every Then and Now!!

2009-03-11T00:58:00.000-07:00

When we were children, few words were more exciting to hear than the phrase "field trip." Field trips were a break from schoolwork and an opportunity to go on an adventure with friends. Now that we are grown ups, taking a field trip can be just as fun and memorable – if only we were willing to sign our own permission slips so we could go on one.

Allowing yourself to get stuck in your routine can make life seem boring. Adding a touch of variety to your life in the form of a field trip can break up the monotony of your days and lead you to adventure. Unlike the jaunts that were regulated by teachers or monitored by parents, taking a field trip as an adult can lead you anywhere you want. You can go on a daylong retreat or spend just a few hours at your destination. A field trip can be an opportunity to explore a new landscape or discover something about yourself. Taking a day trip to another town or visiting an unfamiliar spot in your neighborhood can be educational and fun. There is also much to be said for finding a beautiful spot under a tree where you can read a book. You can even go to one of your favorite spots and allow yourself to experience it as if you were visiting there for the first time. Going on a field trip is as much a state of mind as it is a change in the scenery.

During a “grown up” field trip, schedules, clocks, and duties are put aside so you can focus wholeheartedly on mindfully enjoying yourself. Planning a field trip can be almost as fun as going on one. A field trip is an excursion to look forward to and an experience to be savored after the fact. Wherever you decide to go and whatever you decide to do, going on a field trip can add much pleasure and excitement to your life.

Boost Your Innovation!!

2009-03-11T00:51:00.000-07:00

Courtsey:Scott Anthony!!

The economic shock that rocked the global economy late last year put to rest any lingering doubts that business as usual would be sufficient to compete in the 21st century. Surviving, let alone thriving, requires grappling with constant change. Thus, mastering innovation has moved from a strategic nicety to a strategic necessity.

Unfortunately, the increasing importance of innovation creates a challenge for many companies. Companies that have focused on continual improvement or operational effectiveness have seen their innovation muscles atrophy. Leaders face the daunting challenge of strengthening those muscles at the exact time when markets and managers are most impatient for near-term results.

The good news is two decades of academic research and field work with companies across a range of industries provide clear guidance for companies seeking to move in the right direction.

Patterns and Principles of Successful Innovation

Although many perceive innovation to be random and unpredictable, well-grounded research by Clayton Christensen, V.G. Govindarajan, Rita McGrath, Richard Foster, Rebecca Henderson, Robert Burgelman and many others suggests there are patterns of success and failure. Field work by dozens of companies to put those patterns into practice has illuminated straightforward principles that bring great clarity to the apparently fuzzy world of innovation.

The following five principles can help companies meaningfully increase their odds of innovating successfully:

1. Start with the job to be done.
People don't buy products and services; they hire them to get jobs done in their lives. As management guru Ted Levitt told his students a generation ago, "People don't want a quarter-inch drill - they want a quarter-inch hole." The quest for innovation opportunities or talent solutions should always start with an important problem that can't adequately be solved today.

2. Remember quality is relative.
In a perfect world, companies would make products that function flawlessly, are simple to use and are affordable. The unfortunate reality is the world teems with tradeoffs. When companies innovate, they have to choose which performance dimensions to prioritize and which to de-emphasize. Companies get into trouble when they project established views of quality onto employees. In reality, many customers would happily trade off raw performance to receive something simpler, cheaper or more convenient.

3. Look broadly to change the game.
People assume innovation means new and improved features or work processes. That is only one type of innovation. Companies need to consider broader innovation levers, such as new marketing approaches, revenue models or organizational teams and procedures.

4. Assume the first strategy is wrong.
When talent leaders are truly moving in new directions, the only thing they can be sure about is that their first idea is wrong in some meaningful way. A key to success is to find quick, cheap ways to test the underlying assumptions behind success and how to achieve it. Then leaders must be ready to correct their course.

5. Capabilities define disabilities.
Even the best-run companies have weaknesses and blind spots. Companies that don't organize talent in the right way may watch a steady stream of seemingly sensible decisions morph a novel idea into something familiar to the core business. Developing transformational ideas requires selectively borrowing some assets from the core business while forgetting others.

These principles help with more than the creation of new products or services. For example, at the heart of Toyota's ability to constantly improve its operating processes is a relentless focus on experimentation and iteration. Understanding that quality is relative can help companies design internal processes that deliver along dimensions that are critically important to internal stakeholders.

An example of a company that "lives" these principles is Amazon.com. The company's innovation efforts always start with a problem the customer can't adequately solve. It then builds solutions to solve those problems. Recognizing that innovation efforts are fraught with risks, it tests ideas in the market quickly. And it lets the customer - not its own capabilities - drive the business.

Consider, for example, Amazon's Kindle e-book reader, an embedded system for reading electronic books. It was clear to the company that its customers were going to look for a way to read books on the go. Amazon historically didn't play in the hardware business, so it had to develop an entirely different set of skills. And it didn't just create a compelling device; it built a business model that makes it incredibly easy for customers to get new content.

Amazon Founder and Chief Executive Officer Jeff Bezos said the customer and the problem has to be at the center of the innovation equation.

"It is much easier for us, and I suspect for many companies, to start with your skills and work outwards. But that doesn't allow you to do certain kinds of things," Bezos said. "If you want to really continually revitalize the service you provide the customer, you can't stop at, 'What are we good at?' You have to ask, 'What do our customers need and want?' And no matter how hard it is, you better get good at those things."

Put Patterns Into Action
It's one thing to understand these principles. It is another to put them into action. Sometimes companies pause because they fear innovation requires massive investment, huge amounts of risk and the creativity of Apple's Steve Jobs. That need not be the case. Embracing the tips described below can help companies make significant strides in their innovation journeys.

1. Start small.
Just like a project's strategy is uncertain in the beginning, unforeseen obstacles will impede capability-building efforts. Instead of trying to reinvent an entire organization overnight, start with a project team or focused division. Use the small starting point as a way to test out key assumptions and earn the right to increase innovation investments.

For example, earlier this decade, Procter & Gamble (P&G) thought it would be valuable to develop a more systematic capability to use the principles detailed above to build a capability around what it came to call "disruptive market innovation." CEO A.G. Lafley said a disruptive innovation "creates new categories, new segments or entirely new sources of consumer consumption."

P&G didn't build a massive infrastructure or start dozens of disruptive projects. It ran a two-day workshop with a half dozen project teams that seemed to be moving in disruptive directions to see if a more disciplined approach would be valuable. After three years of iteration, corporate leaders asked each division to develop a plan to allocate a portion of their innovation resources toward these disruptive efforts. The carefully staged approach allowed P&G to better manage its risk in the capability efforts.

2. Focus early efforts.
Companies seeking to develop their innovation capabilities sometimes try to run broad-based efforts to energize the organization. They gather large groups of people in a room and announce, "It's innovation time." They tell employees all ideas are welcome, sit back and wait for brilliant ideas.

This approach almost never works. Instead, companies should carefully consider where innovation efforts will bear the most fruit. Maybe there is a particular customer segment the company is struggling to reach. Or maybe the company needs to find a way to counteract a competitor creeping up from the low end of the business.

Early focus doesn't have to be on growth opportunities. Particularly in this tough climate, companies can look for innovative ways to rethink current processes, do more with less or make prudent cost cuts without alienating key staff members.

These programs might not sound as sexy as creating the next iPod, but they can be critical components to a smooth-functioning core business. And an in-control core business is a necessary prerequisite for innovation.

Similarly, companies should make sure the objectives of their efforts are clear, and they should clearly spell out what options are on and off the table. These kinds of constraints can focus creativity and lead to better outcomes.

3. Invest in capabilities.
While innovation is more predictable than many perceive, it still requires acting and thinking differently. Companies seeking to develop their innovation muscles need to invest in programs that can give managers the tools and mindsets to support thinking and acting differently.

In 2007, for example, agrichemical giant Syngenta created a customized hands-on training program for intact teams working on disruptive projects. The program blended some of the foundational concepts discussed above with Syngenta-specific case studies. During the past 18 months, Syngenta trainers have helped about a dozen teams develop their innovation skills.

Investments in creating a common language also can pay big dividends. For example, in the late 1990s, Clayton Christensen went to microprocessor giant Intel nearly 20 times to educate managers on his research findings. He estimates managers used the concepts to launch businesses that today contribute close to $15 billion in revenues.

At one point, Christensen asked Andy Grove, then Intel's chief executive officer, to explain the value the models provided. Grove said, "It gave us a common language and a common way to frame the problem so that we could reach consensus around counterintuitive courses of action."

Developing training modules that build common language or specific skills, developing internal networks of advocates and running idea-generation sessions with a cross-functional group of managers can be useful starting points to create a team of well-muscled innovation players.

Today's economic climate means companies must become world-class at grappling with constant change or suffer the consequences. Fortunately, companies can draw on well-grounded principles to strengthen their innovation muscles. Starting small, focusing efforts and investing in capabilities can help companies dramatically increase the odds that their innovation efforts will pay off.

[About the Author: Scott Anthony is the president of Innosight LLC, an innovation consulting company and the lead author of The Innovator's Guide to Growth.]

The Empowered Woman!!

2009-03-11T00:30:00.000-07:00

The Empowered Woman, she moves through the world
with a sense of confidence and grace.
Her once reckless spirit now tempered by wisdom.
Quietly, yet firmly, she speaks her truth without doubt or hesitation
and the life she leads is of her own creation.

She now understands what it means to live and let live.
How much to ask for herself and how much to give.
She has a strong, yet generous heart
and the inner beauty she emanates truly sets her apart.
Like the mythical Phoenix,
she has risen from the ashes and soared to a new plane of existence,
unfettered by the things that once that posed such resistance.

Her senses now heightened, she sees everything so clearly.
She hears the wind rustling through the trees;
beckoning her to live the dreams she holds so dearly.
She feels the softness of her hands
and muses at the strength that they possess.
Her needs and desires she has learned to express.
She has tasted the bitter and savored the sweet fruits of life,
overcome adversity and pushed past heartache and strife.

And the one thing she never understood,
she now knows to be true,
it all begins and ends with you.

Quiet Mind!!

2009-03-04T22:23:00.000-08:00

It’s been called the monkey mind – the endless chattering in your head as you jump in your mind from thought to thought while you daydream, analyze your relationships, or worry over the future. Eventually, you start to feel like your thoughts are spinning in circles and you’re left totally confused.

One way to tame this wild creature in your head is through meditation – although the paradox is that when you clear your mind for meditation you actually invite the monkey in your mind to play. This is when you are given the opportunity to tame this mental beast by moving beyond thought – to become aware of a thought rather than thinking a thought. The difference is subtle, but significant. When you are aware of your thoughts, you can let your thoughts rise and float away without letting them pull you in different directions. Being able to concentrate is one of the tools that allows you to slow down your thought process and focus on observing your thoughts.

To develop your concentration, you may want to start by focusing on the breath while you meditate. Whenever your monkey mind starts acting up, observe your thoughts and then return your focus to your breath. Some breathing meditations call on you to focus on the rise and fall of the breath through the abdomen, while others have you concentrate on the sound of the breath. Fire can also be mesmerizing, and focusing on a candle flame is another useful tool for harnessing the mind. Keep the gaze soft and unfocused while observing the color, shape, and movement of the flame, and try not to blink. Close your eyes when you feel the need and continue watching the flame in your head. Chanting, devotional singing, and mantras also still the mind. However you choose to tame the monkey mind, do so with firm kindness. The next time the chattering arises, notice it and then allow it to go away. With practice, your monkey mind will become quiet and so will you.

The Energy of an Embrace!!

2009-03-04T22:14:00.000-08:00

The need to touch and be touched is established early in our lives, as we develop and grow in the omnipresent embrace of our mother’s womb. Once we are born, separated from that sanctuary of connectivity, we begin to crave the physical embrace of our parents. As we age, we become more independent. Yet during times of triumph or trouble and during those moments when we are in need of reassurance, we can’t help but long for a hug.

Because a hug requires two active participants, each individual taking part in the embrace experiences the pleasure of being embraced and the joy that comes from hugging someone. As both individuals wrap their arms around one another, their energy blends together, and they experience a tangible feeling of togetherness that lingers long after physical contact has been broken. A heart hug is when you put your left arm over someone’s shoulder and your right arm around their waist. As they do the same to you, your hearts become aligned with one another other and loving, comforting energy flows between the two of you to flood your souls with feelings of love, caring, and compassion.

A hug is a pleasurable way to share your feelings with someone who is important to you. Depending on your relationship with the other person and the kind of message you wish to send to them, a hug can communicate love, friendship, romance, congratulations, support, greeting, and any other sentiment you wish to convey. A hug communicates to others that you are there for them in a positive way. In an instant, a hug can reestablish a bond between long lost friends and comfort those in pain. The next time you hug someone, focus all of your energy into the embrace. You will create a profound connection that infuses your feelings and sentiments into a single beautiful gesture.

Fences in your mind!!

2009-03-04T22:11:00.000-08:00

Courtsey:By Sharad K Shinde Patil

“Last night thinking of you a tear rolled out. I asked the tear; why are you out? The tear replied: There is someone more beautiful in your eyes so no place for me.”

I was walking down the busy street as the cell phone beeped and the above message came. No name but just the message and the number was unfamiliar. My mind went into a tizzy and for the life of me I couldn’t understand as to who the sender was. Why would anyone send an me a message like this? It sure reminded me of the movie “Jogger’s Park”. The game had begun and with it came the reality of life. Sometimes it’s the sense of defeat and hopelessness at others it’s the thrill & excitement.

It's been a good reminder for me of those occasions when I've been dealing with my own mental fences...those created by self-doubt, uncertainty and fear. Can you relate? When have you fenced yourself mentally in recent days or weeks? How did you close yourself within the comforts of your own imaginations? Perhaps your mental fence is procrastination, a deadening habit that keeps you stuck. Maybe yours, like mine, is related to self-doubt, and the on-going internal noise it produces that keeps you immobilized. Perhaps ours is the belief that we don't deserve success, so we sabotage ourselves to avoid having to find out how successful we could be. There are a million variations of the theme, but the result is still the same: we stay stuck. When one window to happiness closes another few open up but it’s sad that we keep looking back at the closed window and refuse to see all the new open ones.

Here is the bridge that needs to be crossed and hopefully it’s not bombed or sabotaged. Isn’t that exactly what we start thinking and somewhere that’s exactly what we land up doing? The fear, the insecurity, the age, the ego and all other ill thoughts start coming forward. Who, what, where, why, when & how are the various doubts and destructive forces that come tumbling into play. This is the time to look on the brighter side as the same who, what, where, why, when & how are the simple questions to elementary answers of the fickle mind. First the fences in the mind need to be removed and one needs to open up to a brighter and beautiful thought process. Then as you look yonder you will always see the bridge that need to be crossed and yes, it’s not bombed nor sabotaged. Take a walk on this side of your mind and suddenly you see the lovely river flowing by and the greenery in its finest.

One of the key questions is: "How do I limit myself and how can I stop?" Those limitations are never external. They always live inside us. The antidote to being trapped by our mental fences however is to create a compelling enough vision, break the fences and to move forward. You are as important as you think you are and no one should be allowed to put you down although in this world of today that’s exactly what everyone is trying to do. It’s time to stand up, break the fences in your mind and cross all the bridges that will come your way. Life is a continuous educational program and each moment is a good lesson learnt. When times are tough all need to get stronger.

Make A Promise!!

2009-03-04T22:06:00.000-08:00

Make a promise to yourself and keep it. There's something
That you've always desired, and now is the time to make it
Real.

You are fully capable of reaching whatever you decide to
Reach. Promise yourself something wonderful, and then do
What it takes to fulfill that promise.

Stop groaning about how unfair life is. Start making life
Into something grand and joyful.

Every problem is an opportunity to make an improvement. Pick
A particularly vexing problem and promise yourself that
You'll get triumphantly beyond it.

Find a dream that positively inspires you and promise
Yourself that you'll reach it. Make a serious commitment to
The richness of your own life, and follow through on that
Commitment.

You can do it if you'll simply choose to do it. Make a
Promise to yourself, and make it happen.

Story of Hope and Greed!!

2009-03-04T22:02:00.000-08:00

Abbasid Caliph Haroon Rashid desired that any one who had seen the Holy Prophet Muhammad (SAW) in his lifetime be brought before him.

After some time a very old woman was brought before the Caliph Haroon Rashid. The Caliph Haroon Rashid asked the old woman, "Did you see Holy Prophet Muhammad (SAW) yourself?" She said, "Yes! Oh Sir." The Caliph Haroon Rashid then asked her if she remembered any narration from him. She said yes and said,

"When old age comes two things become young, one is hope (lofty aspirations) and the other is greed."

The Caliph Haroon Rashid thanked her and gave her one hundred dinars. The woman thanked the Caliph Haroon Rashid and she was taken back.

Half the way some thought passed through her mind and she desired to be brought before the Caliph Haroon Rashid once more. When she was shown in, the Caliph Haroon Rashid asked, "Well, why have you come back?" She said. "I just came to inquire whether the monies you gave me were once for all or is it to continue every year?"

The Caliph Haroon Rashid thought. "How true is the Holy Prophet Muhammad (SAW) word?" she has hope of life even now and she has greed for money too. The Caliph Haroon Rashid said, "Don't worry; you will be paid every year." She was taken back but on the way she breathed her last.

What is Greed?

Greed is the excess fondness of money and fortune. It is one of the bad manners that draw to various evils and sins.

Disadvantages of Greed:

Greed enslaves man and causes him grief. The greedy cares only for collecting fortunes without stopping at any limit. Whenever he achieves a goal, he works for achieving another and, so, he becomes the slave of avidity until death strikes him. He, also, exerts laborious efforts for collecting riches, but he is the less beneficiary.

He tires for gaining fortunes, but death comes unexpectedly upon him to deprive him of enjoying that fortune. The heirs, then, enjoy his fortune very easily. Furthermore, greed takes to the slips of sinful matters that produce problematic situations in the world to come. It also hinders from doing charity.

Amir al- Mumini Imam Ali A.S said: "Know with certainty that you cannot achieve your desire and cannot exceed your destined life. You are on the track of those before you.

Therefore, be humble in seeking and moderate in earning because often seeking leads to deprivation.

Every seeker of livelihood does not get it, nor is everyone who is moderate in seeking deprived."

Amir al-Muminin (as): A greedy man will always find himself in the shackles of humility..

Amir al-Muminin (as): Greed is the key to trouble and carries man to hardship. It causes him to commit sin.

Imam Muhammad al-Baqir (as) said: "In his love for the world, the greedy is like the silkworm: the more it wraps in its cocoon, the less it has of escaping from it, until it dies of grief."

Never take some one for granted,

Hold every person Close to your Heart because you might wake up one day and realise that you have lost a diamond while you were too busy collecting stones." Remember this always in life.

Virtual Leadership for a Virtual Workforce!!

2009-03-04T21:58:00.001-08:00

As work is increasingly carried out by teams whose members are spread across the globe, learning leaders are challenged to design and deliver learning solutions that meet the needs of virtual teams, but also develop leaders who are comfortable and capable in the virtual environment.

The new paradigm of work in the virtual team environment consists of team members working from anywhere at anytime in real space or cyberspace.

In a 2004 article, Anne Powell, Gabriele Piccoli and Blake Ives defined a team as a collection of individuals who are interdependent in their tasks; share responsibility for their outcomes; see themselves and are seen by others as an intact social entity embedded in one or more larger social systems; and manage their relationships across organizational boundaries.

In traditional organizations, team members are colocated, meet face-to-face and come from similar business units with a common cultural background. As teams become virtual, membership becomes more cross functional, more geographically dispersed, more culturally diverse and more temporary. These teams are assembled in response to specific needs and often are short-lived. The need for distributed virtual work is created by the dispersion of work around the world and the integration of knowledge, products, process and activities across the organization.

Virtual teams bring together critical contributors who might not be able to work together because of time, travel or cost. However, there are tradeoffs in the virtual world. In the absence of face-to-face communication and interaction, virtual teams have less understanding of each other, potentially contributing to misunderstandings and conflict. To overcome these challenges, virtual teams rely heavily on information and communication technologies (ICT) such as e-mail, instant messaging, videoconferencing, computer-mediated communication systems, cell phones and voice mail.

The ultimate challenge for team leaders is to create a level of collaboration and productivity that rivals the experience of the best colocated teams. Leaders of these virtual teams must be able to facilitate team cohesiveness by taking full advantage of existing and emerging ICTs.

Virtual vs. Traditional

Leadership consists of guiding, encouraging and facilitating others in the pursuit of a common end. In this framework, a leader must have the ability to encourage and coerce team members to follow the leader voluntarily. The leader must create an environment in which members can accept and execute their responsibilities with confidence.

Leaders in the traditional world manage by planning, organizing, controlling, motivating and communicating. In many cases, there is no need to meet face-to-face. In other cases, work teams can use any mode of communication available, from the cell phone to computer-mediated communication. But questions remain. Are these new virtual teams as effective as the standard face-to-face teams? Is there a different way to lead these teams? More importantly, how do we develop and train these new virtual leaders?

There is a plenty of academic research comparing face-to-face teams with virtual teams. The results are that virtual teams are at least as effective as face-to-face teams, and according to Powell, Piccoli and Ives, under some conditions, they are even more effective. Leader development leading to high-performance teams leads to successful organizations in this new virtual environment.

Virtual Leaders

In a 2000 issue of Leadership Quarterly, Bruce Avolio, Surinder Kahai and G.E. Dodge wrote that leaders will need to play a more proactive role in creating the social structures that foster the implementation of ICTs. Virtual leadership is a social-influence process mediated by ICTs to produce a change in attitudes, feelings, thinking, behavior and/or performance with individuals, groups and/or organizations. The key is integrating human beings and information and communication technologies.

Virtual leadership can occur at any hierarchical level in an organization and can involve one-to-one and one-to-many interactions within and across large units and organizations. It may be associated with one individual or shared by several individuals, as its locus changes over time.

A 2004 study highlighted in the Harvard Business Review suggested virtual leaders need to use traditional face-to-face meetings occasionally. The research highlights the use of an initial face-to-face meeting to start off a team. This initial meeting is then followed with weekly meetings and intensive communication with ICTs. If a meeting is not possible, the research suggests leaders should use telephone/videoconferencing followed by individual telephone contact.

Virtual leaders must have a high level of skill in both written and verbal communication. To build trust and satisfaction in the team, the virtual leader must be able to express the goals and objectives of the team clearly, concisely and unambiguously via e-mail, Web conferencing, telephone communication and videoconferencing. The leader should minimize conflicts by proactively drawing out any issues or concerns before they escalate into serious problems.

Communicating regularly with each team member specifically and the team in general can ensure team members do not feel isolated or disconnected. The more leaders know about what team members are doing, and the more information that can be shared, the more successful the team will be. The result should be a strong virtual team that is successful, productive and trusting.

Online discussion threads become very important. These discussions are the basis for developing a shared mental model for the team. Team members discuss their ideas, strategies and comment on other members' discussions.

When communicating virtually, it is much easier for misunderstandings to arise. The ability to listen, understand and validate what is being communicated is essential. The leader must rely on subtle changes in voice tone that signify the speaker's emotions, rather than being able to see the person's body language. Emotions also can be seen in e-mail communications. Some are more subtle than others, but flaming typically is seen if an individual is upset.

Team performance will be higher when members are skilled and understand their task roles. Leadership typically is responsible for assuring that members have the skills and understand the tasks. Leaders are responsible for the vision, planning, engaging the team, coaching, training, team learning, networking and promoting, among other skills.

Virtual Workforce

The socialization that occurs with face-to-face communications between members, both within and outside formal meetings, serves to strengthen the commitment of team members to the organization and the work team. For virtual teams, however, being dependent on technology for coordination and control reduces communication cues considerably and makes socialization activities more difficult.

Colocated team members can draw from many experiences during the project life cycle when evaluating the trustworthiness of their fellow team members, and many experiences help develop their commitment to the team. Virtual team members can't see what their teammates are doing; they can only see the outcome. Thus, it is important that virtual teams schedule face-to-face meetings. Socialization brings trust and binds the team.

Dissatisfaction among virtual team members about work processes stems from the delay in communicating and providing feedback because of geographical distance and time differences. The lack of socialization often can make virtual team members feel isolated and that they are not part of the team. This is especially true when some of the members work locally and others virtually. On the other hand, in traditional teams, members typically interact with each other on a regular basis. The leader in the virtual team is the primary link in the network and needs to provide frequent electronic and verbal communication.

Leaders armed with the knowledge that trust explains a large percent of variance in team commitment need to do more to build trust relations in both colocated and virtual teams. Research on virtual teams demonstrates that greater commitment leads to better performance and satisfaction and lower turnover rates. Leaders of virtual teams will want to emphasize activities that encourage trust and introduce ways to enhance it to keep team commitment high.

Virtual teams need ICT-based team-building exercises to aid in establishing shared norms and specification of a clear team structure. Early meetings are important to establish the team's direction and establish trust. Designs that foster knowledge sharing either by meetings or virtual ICTs ensure the team has a mutual understanding of problems and issues.

Team cohesion and trust are important. Face-to-face communication among virtual team members early in a project fosters interpersonal relationships, yielding increased trust and cohesion. Communication is the key to a successful virtual team.

Successful Communication

The degree to which the virtual workforce is satisfied and productive is directly related to whether or not leaders are communicating electronically and on the telephone. Team members feel trusted, satisfied and productive when the leader communicates frequently with e-mail/conferencing and calls them on the telephone. In contrast, members whose leader communicates less are less satisfied and feel more negative impacts. Furthermore, when leaders resist working virtually, team members are less willing to work virtually and also are less satisfied and productive.

The virtual team leader needs to create a compelling challenge for the team. In this regard, the team needs to know it is important and is about to embark on an important project. The leader can create involvement by guiding the discussion through straw proposals, distributing them in advance, listening to feedback and then synthesizing and incorporating the feedback into documents - a shared mental model - that are accessible to team members.

Achieving collaboration requires a disciplined approach early on. The team leader needs to be able to manage performance by creating structures - such as discussion boards, priority lists and agendas - and routines - such as weekly meetings and daily follow-ups - and assigning them to team members. The team's acceptance of these structures and routines demonstrates commitment and adds significant value to bolster the team's credibility.

Furthermore, maximizing the information flow ensures the development of strong relationships between team members. The team leader can then support the success through e-mail, face-to-face or telephone communication by coaching, providing feedback and personal development to individuals or groups of team members.

Leading a virtual team means managing the whole spectrum of communication strategies and project management techniques, as well as the human and social processes, in ways that support the team. With the increasing relevance of distributed communication systems, team leaders will need to integrate these virtual practices into their team-building strategies and learn how to continually improve the virtual group process.

[About the Author: Jerry Fjermestad is an associate professor of management information systems at the New Jersey Institute of Technology.]

The Saviour's Words!!

2009-03-02T03:56:00.000-08:00

If you never felt pain,
Then how would you know that I'm a Healer?

If you never went through difficulty,
How would you know that I'm a Deliverer?

If you never had a trial,
How could you call yourself an overcomer?

If you never felt sadness,
How would you know that I'm a Comforter?

If you never made a mistake,
How would you know that I'm forgiving?

If you knew all,
How would you know that I will answer your questions?

If you never were in trouble,
How would you know that I will come to your rescue?

If you never were broken,
Then how would you know that I can make you whole?

If you never had a problem,
How would you know that I can solve them?

If you never had any suffering,
Then how would you know what I went through?

If you never went through the fire,
Then how would you become pure?

If I gave you all things,
How would you appreciate them?

If I never corrected you,
How would you know that I love you?

If you had all power,
Then how would you learn to depend on me?

If your life was perfect,
Then what would you need Me for?

Leadership through Coaching!!

2009-03-02T02:41:00.000-08:00

Statistics show that many coaching relationships fail to achieve lasting results. To be truly successful in the long term, a coaching relationship should focus less on trying to change people and more on developing their potential.

One of the most difficult challenges for new leaders is to let go of the past.

After all, it's their past that led to their promotion. Their approach to managing others and completing projects helped them to succeed and become recognized. It is what made them who they are. So it's only natural for them to assume that now is the time to do more of the same - just a little faster and a little harder. They tell themselves that they just have to play to their strengths and step on the accelerator to thrive in their new role.

And that's where most new leaders trip up. They get in their own way by not recognizing that, while their past accomplishments may be the reason they were tapped to lead, their past has little to do with how they will lead. Their future success is about their potential. The way they achieved goals in the past may actually get in the way of their success as new leaders. And this can be a difficult concept for them to grasp.

A Real Connection

To coach new leaders through this transition requires a real connection between the leader and the coach. That is a very complicated formula.

Both need to have seven things going on simultaneously. They need to be open, flexible, intrigued by solving problems, self-aware, willing to listen and reflect and, most importantly, both need to be convinced that the change they want is worth everything it will take to bring it about.

Change is very hard. We often do everything we can to avoid changing. It means work and leaving our comfort zones. The real motivation to change has to come from within. Otherwise, nothing will change, at least not for very long.

The best advice in the world will fall on deaf ears if one of two people is not ready: the coach or the person being coached. That accounts for a very complicated formula, times two.

Before we delve into the most effective ways to coach, let's spend a moment addressing a fundamental question: Does anyone really change? We can all change in huge ways if we really want to. But it is not the leader's job to try to change people. Rather, the leader's job is to help people realize their potential. Those are two very different things.

Trying to change someone, to make them other than what they really are, is fruitless. We might get someone to pretend to listen to us or even follow our rules, but it will be, as they say in late-night commercials, for a limited time only. As coaches, we are there to identify and develop potential.

Coaching Without Desired Results

When we coach executives on how to become better coaches themselves - how to improve the performance of their key employees - after each session, they say they are committed to going back to their jobs and applying what they've learned.

But a year later, when we go back and ask their direct reports to confirm that these leaders applied the lessons, more than one-third say their bosses are doing absolutely nothing differently. Why did more than one-third of the executives go through the coaching, promise to implement the changes but do nothing about it?

Most of them just get sucked into their busy lives, get distracted by the day-to-day demands of their jobs and forget to implement what they learned. We are all creatures of habit. We fall back on old habits, both good and bad. It's easier to repeat old patterns: That's our comfort zone. Coaching, which is about changing, falls by the wayside.

To change, we have to want to. Most of us don't change unless our back is against the wall. Often we only change after we are hurting in some way. And we have to be ready to hurt some more because changing can be painful. It starts with understanding that there is a gap between our existing state and where we need to go.

Recipe for Coaching Success

Understanding is just the starting point to effective coaching, and we need to bridge the gap between understanding and doing. Most coaching is based on a huge, and false, assumption: If people understand, they will do the right thing.

But why do so many people who have had a triple bypass operation, a year later resume their old eating habits? If we aren't going to change when something is life-threatening, then why would we change a work habit just because our boss wants us to?

For coaching to stick, it requires desire, understanding, commitment, support, being open to feedback and constant follow-up. Not everyone can handle it, or even wants to.

Who Is Coachable?

When it comes to coaching, the real question you should ask is: Who is coachable? Who is truly interested in improving? Who has the flexibility, the openness, the self-awareness and the desire to change? That's who coaching will stick to.

If they are truly interested in reaching out to others and reaching into themselves, they can change. Those are the individuals who have the potential to become the next leaders and make a difference to the organization's future.

There is a huge difference between trying to change people and helping them realize their potential. Coaches can only help people tap into their leadership potential if they have the desire and they share a natural connection. Only then will they want to hear from the coach. The coach's attention will keep them engaged and feeling valued. That by itself will send two distinct messages throughout the organization.

First and foremost, it will let everyone know who and what the organization values. Equally important, the coach's time will be spent wisely, and as he or she gets to know top performers better, will recognize the qualities that make them special. The coach also will gain insights into what is working for the company and will have a clearer understanding of what to look for when it's time to hire the next leaders.

How does a coach establish a connection? It is only natural for us to want to work with people who we like, and we tend to like people who are most like ourselves.

When I discovered that my wife was having twins, I started interviewing everyone I could meet who was a twin or who had twins. I learned that identical twins absolutely loved everything about being a twin. They couldn't wait to celebrate their birthday together. They loved having people shake their heads in disbelief as the two often would enter a room together. Ultimately, they are as close, genetically speaking, as two people can be.

It made them feel special particularly when they were together. They share a feeling of togetherness that most of us can only imagine. When they see each other from across a crowded room, they know they are with the one person in the world with whom they have the most in common. Feeling close with someone with whom you have so much in common, for better or worse, is just part of human nature. So without being conscious of it, we often end up hiring and promoting people who remind us of ourselves, or at least with whom we have much in common.

We end up saying, "There's something about that person I really like. I'm not quite sure exactly what it is. But they remind me of someone I'm very fond of. Let's see. Who could it be? Oh, yeah, it's me." Of course, we don't want to surround ourselves with people who get on our nerves. But if you surround yourself with an entire staff of people just like you, you will inevitably create an unbalanced organization.

We have to remember that a staff with all of our strengths and virtues will also share our faults and shortcomings. So they will help us stay right where we are, not help us grow to where we need to be. Realize also that it can be easier for us to coach those with whom we share much in common.

A truly impactful coach needs to move beyond comfort zones to connect on a new level. Sometimes, if the coach connects too much with someone he or she is trying to coach, the coach can lose objectivity and, therefore, the ability to be effective.

How can a coach help new leaders find their true voices? Start out by understanding the strengths of the individual being coached. Coaching is a one-to-one activity. Find a way to connect strongly with the individual, whether it's through a desire to succeed, optimism or empathy.

Begin by letting the individual know the coach is aware of his or her strengths. Explain that coaching is about tapping into those strengths and helping develop them.

Insights into their strengths can be fostered by a 360-degree evaluation, in which colleagues, managers and direct reports share insights into how the individual is perceived. An in-depth personality profile can also provide the coach and the individual being coached with a deeper understanding of where these strengths come from.

Perhaps the individual has a need to be the smartest person in the room. Maybe he or she is too disagreeable. What is the most important thing the individual needs to change to become a more effective leader? That has to be identified and agreed to.

With that understanding, the coach can create an individual development plan with realistic goals and time frames. We can change one thing at a time, with focus, drive, desire, support and follow-through.

Whatever the challenge that needs to be overcome, coaches can only help after they are able to forge a meaningful connection with the individual being coached. It is their genuine connection that will allow the person to be respective to coaching and lay the foundation for long-term success.

Change ultimately is about envisioning a better future. We all want to connect with someone who believes in us and someone with whom we can let down our guard and be our true selves. That's the place where coaching becomes real.

The best coaches know each of the individuals they are working with and help them connect with themselves, giving them the confidence to lead with their unique styles. As a coach, we are dealing in a personal realm. It's that place where the professional and the personal connect.

At the end of the day, coaching is about changing, and changing is about being focused, self-aware, open and truly desiring a different future. That's where true leadership begins.

(Courtsey:Patrick Sweeney, president of Caliper, an international managegment consulting firm)

Why should one shout in Anger?

2009-03-02T02:37:00.000-08:00

A saint asked his disciples, 'Why do we shout in anger? Why do people shout at each other when they are upset?'

Disciples thought for a while, one of them said, 'Because we lose our calm, we shout for that.'

'But, why to shout when the other person is just next to you?' asked the saint. 'Isn't it possible to speak to him or her with a soft voice? Why do you shout at a person when you're angry?'

Disciples gave some other answers but none satisfied the saint.

Finally he explained, 'When two people are angry at each other, their hearts distance a lot. To cover that distance they must shout to be able to hear each other. The angrier they are, the stronger they will have to shout to hear each other through that great distance.'

Then the saint asked, 'What happens when two people fall in love? They don't shout at each other but talk softly, why? Because their hearts are very close. The distance between them is very small...'

The saint continued, 'When they love each other even more, what happens? They do not speak, only whisper and they get even closer to each other in their love. Finally they even need not whisper, they only look at each other and that's all. That is how close two people are when they love each other.'

MORAL: When you argue do not let your hearts get distant, do not say words that distance each other more, else there will come a day when the distance is so great that you will not find the path to return.

Lord Krishna, Management Guru above alll!!

2009-03-01T01:52:00.000-08:00

Courtsey:James Jose and Pupul Duta (www.yahoo.com

The next time you hear someone recite verses from the Bhagavad Gita, pay more attention. The wisdom of the ancient Indian scriptures may come in handy in tackling issues from management strategies to corporate governance in today's highly competitive world of business.

Far fetched?

Consider this: Motivational gurus and management experts like Deepak Chopra, C.K. Prahalad, Arindam Chaudhuri, Shiv Khera and Mrityunjay B. Athreya are increasingly borrowing from ancient Hindu scriptures to cope with the modern-day business management challenges.

'Lord Krishna says in the Bhagavad Gita, yoga is excellence in action,' said leading management consultant Harish Bijoor. 'We preach it as a basic tenet in our sessions - that one can derive a higher state of being in an organisation by achieving excellence in action and be consistent in doing so,' Bijoor told IANS.

Krishna may indeed give management guru Philip Kotler - whose strategies on marketing are routinely referred to in classrooms and boardrooms alike - a run for his money, management gurus maintain.

'Quite a few business strategies owe their origins to Hindu myths. According to Indian religious texts, 'swa-dharma' or self ethics can be used to achieve quality in all the functions of a company,' Bijoor maintained.

Agreed Athreya, who took the example of 'Neelakantha' Lord Shiva's epithet, when his throat turned blue after drinking the poison churned up from ocean so that the magic potion of mortality could be partaken by his followers to defeat the demons, or evil.

'This act symbolises courage, initiative, willingness, discipline, simplicity and austerity - these are all the qualities that successful business leaders, as also managers, preach,' Athreya, a specialist in vedic management, told IANS.

Such myths are relevant more than ever today as businesses the world over have begun to retrench workers and cut down on employee benefits and charity in the wake of the current meltdown, the experts said.

'It is the dharma of all organisations to focus more on corporate social responsibility and protect employees' interests in this hour of crisis. A company should make profits during the good times and help people in bad times,' Athreya said.

'Firms should reduce prices, be content with a lower profit margin and eliminate waste.'

Quoting Yudhishthira in the Mahabharata, Athreya said: 'Every day, people see creatures depart to (god of death) Yama's abode. Yet, those who remain seek to live forever. This verily is the greatest wonder.'

Similarly, he said, people retire every day, jobs are lost, and sometimes it is seen as unavoidable as has been seen during the current economic turmoil.

'But the impact of the crisis and the consequent sense of insecurity can be contained if managements become 'deerghdarshi' (far-sighted), and try to evade the crisis even before it happens.'

Ancient wisdom will also help mitigate fears about competition.

'A lot of people are bothered about what competition is doing. We too advise managers to look at competition, but in a benign way. Look at them as ethical people, who are just doing their job and you are doing yours,' said Bijoor.

Some of the oldest sacred texts of Hinduism, the Vedas and the upanishads, can help in scripting an ideal corporate governance philosophy.

'The management should be 'saatvik', meaning balanced and orderly. They should take care of their customers and business partners, besides their employees. That is the backbone of any sound corporate governance model,' Athreya said, quoting from these scriptures.

Companies have started adopting ancient Indian wisdom and techniques like the Sudarshan Kriya, a complete body workout regime, and followed in corporate stress management workshops. Software giant Wipro, for example, has a programme dedicated to improving mental state of its employees using meditation and yoga.

Bijoor, however, feels Indian managers are still smitten by western management philosophies. 'I routinely quote from texts like the Ramayana in the sessions that I hold for corporates around the world', he said.

'But it is ironical that businesses in countries like Germany and France are adopting the wisdom of Vedas while our people are still besotted with western philosophies.'

Making Judgements!!

2009-02-28T10:52:00.000-08:00

The train has started moving. It is packed with people of all ages, mostly with the working men and women and young college guys and gals. Near the window, seated a old man with his 30 year old son. As the train moves by, the son is overwhelmed with joy as he was thrilled with the scenery outside..

"See dad, the scenery of green trees moving away is very beautiful"

This behavior from a thirty year old son made the other people feel strange about him. Every one started murmuring something or other about this son."This guy seems to be a krack.." newly married Anup whispered to his wife.

Suddenly it started raining... Rain drops fell on the travelers through the opened window. The Thirty year old son , filled with joy " see dad, how beautiful the rain is .."

Anup's wife got irritated with the rain drops spoiling her new suit.

Anup ," cant you see its raining, you old man, if ur son is not feeling well get him soon to a mental asylum and dont disturb public henceforth"

The old man hesitated first and then in a low tone replied " we are on the way back from hospital, my son got discharged today morning , he was a blind by birth, last week only he got his vision, these rain and nature are new to his eyes.. Please forgive us for the inconvenience caused..."

The things we see may be right from our perspective until we know the truth.

But when we know the truth our reaction to that will hurt even us. So try to understand the problem better before taking a harsh action.

Testing Your Self Esteem!!

2009-02-28T09:43:00.000-08:00

Our primary relationship in life is with our selves. No one else goes through every experience in life with us. We are our one permanent companion, yet we are often our worst critic. To remind ourselves of our magnificence, we can do this exercise: “Five Things I Like About Myself.”

Begin by writing down at least five things that you like about yourself. This is not the time to be modest. If you are having trouble coming up with a total of five items, you know that this exercise can really benefit you. Be sure to include more than your physical attributes on your list, since our bodies are only part of who we are. If you are still struggling with what to include on your list, think of what you like about your favorite people, because these traits are probably qualities that you possess too. Another way to complete your list is to think of five things you don’t like about yourself and find something about these traits that you can like.

Continue this process for a week, thinking of five new things you like about yourself everyday. At the end of the week, read the list aloud to yourself while standing in front of a mirror. Instead of looking for flaws to fix, allow the mirror to reflect your magnificence. You may feel silly about standing in front of a mirror and reading aloud a list of your admirable attributes, but it might just bring a smile to your face and change the way you see yourself. Remember, it is when you feel the most resistant that this exercise can benefit you the most. Because we are constantly looking at the world, instead of looking at ourselves, we don’t often see what’s magnificent about ourselves that others do. When we take the time to experience ourselves the way we would experience someone we love and admire, we become our best companion and supporter on life’s journey.

Claiming RESPONSIBILITY for ONE's ACTIONS!!

2009-02-28T09:41:00.000-08:00

A boy was born to a couple after eleven years of marriage. They were a loving couple and the boy was the gem of their eyes.

When the boy was around two years old, one morning the husband saw a medicine bottle open. He was late for office so he asked his wife to cap the bottle and keep it in the cupboard. His wife, preoccupied in the kitchen totally forgot the matter.

The boy saw the bottle and playfully went to the bottle fascinated by its colour and drank it all.

It happened to be a poisonous medicine meant for adults in small dosages. When the child collapsed the mother hurried him to the hospital, where he died. The mother was stunned. She was terrified how to face her husband.

When the distraught father came to the hospital and saw the dead child ,he looked at his wife and uttered just five words.

What were the five words?

The husband just said "I am with you Darling"

The husband's totally unexpected reaction is a proactive behaviour. The child is dead. He can never be brought back to life. There is no point in finding fault with the mother. Besides, if only he had taken time to keep the bottle away, this would not have happened.

No one is to be blamed. She had also lost her only child. What she needed at that moment was consolation and sympathy from the husband. That is what he gave her!!

REFLECTION

If everyone can look at life with this kind of perspective, there would be much fewer problems in the world.

"A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step." Take off all your envies, jealousies, unforgiveness, selfishness, and fears. And you will find things are actually not as difficult as you think.

Sometimes we spend time in asking who is responsible or whom to blame, Whether in a relationship, in a job or with the people we know. By doing this actually we are missing out the warmth and beauty in human relationships.

All blame is just a waste of time. No matter how much fault you find with another, and regardless of how much you blame him, it will not change you.

Learn to be responsible for your actions and consciously be aware of your emotions towards others and be careful when you point your fingers at others before pointing them at yourself first. By blaming others, you are only fooling yourself by finding an excuse to cover up the problem you dont want to face or dont know how to face. Always try to fix the problem and not the blame.

A man should never be ashamed to own he has been in the wrong, which is but saying, in other words, that he is wiser today than he was yesterday!

What does Failure mean to you? - By Margaret Paul, Ph.D.

2009-02-25T09:04:00.000-08:00

What do you believe about failure?

The ego wounded part of ourselves, the left-brain part of ourselves that has been programmed with many false beliefs, often believes that:

"If I fail, I am a failure."
"If I fail, I am stupid."
"If I fail, no one will like me or value me."
"If I fail, then there is no point in ever trying again."
"If I fail, it brands me for life as incompetent."
"If I fail, then everyone who thought I was smart will now think I am stupid."
"If I fail, I will have made a fool of myself."

On the other hand, the loving adult part of us -- our right brain, open, creative, and learning part of us -- generally believes that:

"If I fail, then I just need to work harder, to put in more effort."
"If I fail, I will have learned valuable lessons that will eventually lead to success."
"Failure is a part of life. No one succeeds without some failure."
"Failure does not at all reflect on my worth as a person. I am intrinsically worthy, regardless of success or failure."
"Failure offers me incredible opportunities to think outside the box, to think creatively. Let's get to work!"
"I love learning, and I love challenges. What I do is not about success or failure -- it is about the joy of creativity, learning, and expressing who I am."

Which way of thinking prevails within you? What are the consequences to you of allowing yourself to think from your wounded self instead of from your loving adult?

Failure - A Part of Life
The fact is that mistakes and failure ARE a part of life. Instead of fearing them, why not make it okay to make mistakes and to fail? Why not take the onus off of failure? Why not embrace the process of learning and growing instead of only being focused on the outcome of your efforts? Why not focus on enjoying the process of learning and creating something that is important to you?

People who don't worry about success or failure, who instead are excited about their learning and growing process, generally find their way to succeed. The reason for this is that they don't let failure stop them. Instead, failure spurs them on to work harder, to put forth even more effort to learn what they need to learn to succeed.

On the other hand, even very smart people, who are dominated by their ego-wounded selves, generally allow failure to derail them. Believing they ARE a failure if they fail, they become too afraid to make more effort. In addition, they often believe that success or failure is not dependent on effort, but on ability. When this is their belief, they often give up at the first sign of failure, fearing that, if their natural intelligence and ability is not leading to success, then there is no point in trying harder.

Creating Success
Every successful person knows that effort, creativity, openness to learning, and perseverance are what create success, not necessarily high intelligence, talent, or ability. Every truly successful person is someone who has not allowed failure to stop him or her from forging ahead with passion and purpose.

I encourage you to tell yourself that it is okay to make mistakes and okay to fail. I encourage you to see mistakes and failures as wonderful learning opportunities for growth. I encourage you to let go of the outcome and allow yourself to become fully excited about the process of learning, of growth, and of creation. Being fully present and excited for the process is what life is all about!

Learning Lessons hard way!!

2009-02-25T08:55:00.000-08:00

Child in us!!

2009-02-24T23:36:00.000-08:00

Deep within each of us lives the child we once were. For most of us, our inner child lies hidden beneath the layers that we’ve put on in order to become adults. In our rush to put on grown-up clothing and live adult lives, we may have forgotten the wisdom and innocence that we possessed when we were children. In meditation, we can connect with our inner child and reclaim what we have forgotten.

You can start by finding a photo of yourself as a child that you can look at for a few moments. School photos often work well to help you connect with this part of you. Sit in a relaxed position, close your eyes, and start taking deep breaths. Set the intention that you are going to connect with your inner child. Wait for an image of yourself as a child to appear in your mind’s eye. See your grown-up self hugging your inner child. Listen to what your inner child has to say. Perhaps your inner child wants to give you the answer to a question that you’ve been mulling over. After all, you never needed to look outside yourself when you were a child to know how you felt or what was true for you. You always knew the answers. There also may be an ache from a childhood wound that you can now heal by talking to your inner child and offering them the wisdom and perspective that comes with maturity. Or maybe you’ve merely forgotten how to see the world with childlike wonder and hope! , and your inner child would like you to remember how. Tell your inner child that you love them and will keep them safe. Embrace your inner child and tell them that you are always there for them. Allow your inner child to always be there for you.

Connecting to your inner child in with meditation is a very useful tool, but you can also connect with your inner child even when you aren’t in meditation. Treat yourself to a play date, ice cream, or a walk in the park. Let yourself laugh and play more. Give yourself permission to be as wise as your inner child so you can stop focusing on what isn’t important and start living as if every moment is precious. Your life will be filled with more laughter and fun.

Strength and Weakness!!

2009-02-24T23:31:00.000-08:00

A 10-year-old boy decided to study judo despite the fact that he had lost his left arm in a devastating car accident. The boy began lessons with an old Japanese judo master. The boy was doing well, so he couldn't understand why, after three months of training the master had taught him only one move.

"Sensei,"(Teacher in Japanese) the boy finally said, "Shouldn't I be learning more moves?" "This is the only move you know, but this is the only move you'll ever need to know," the sensei replied.

Not quite understanding, but believing in his teacher, the boy kept training. Several months later, the sensei took the boy to his first tournament.

Surprising himself, the boy easily won his first two matches. The third match proved to be more difficult, but after some time, his opponent became impatient and charged; the boy deftly used his one move to win the match. Still amazed by his success, the boy was now in the finals.

This time, his opponent was bigger, stronger, and more experienced. For a while, the boy appeared to be overmatched. Concerned that the boy might get hurt, the referee called a time-out.

He was about to stop the match when the sensei intervened." No," the sensei insisted, "Let him continue." Soon after the match resumed, his opponent made a critical mistake: he dropped his guard. Instantly, the boy used his move to pin him. The boy had won the match and the tournament.

He was the champion. On the way home, the boy and sensei reviewed every move in each and every match. Then the boy summoned the courage to ask what was really on his mind. "Sensei, how did I win the tournament with only one move?"

"You won for two reasons," the sensei answered. "First, you've almost mastered one of the most difficult throws in all of judo. And second, the only known defense for that move is for your opponent to grab your left arm."

The boy's biggest weakness had become his biggest strength. Sometimes we feel that we have certain weaknesses and we blame God, the circumstances or ourselves for it but we never know that our weaknesses can become our strengths one day.

Each of us is special and important, so never think you have any weakness, never think of pride or pain, just live your life to its fullest and extract the best out of it!"

The more you hold the bigger the PROBLEM!!

2009-02-24T23:29:00.000-08:00

Professor began his class by holding up a glass with some water in it. He held it up for all to see & asked the students

"How much do you think this glass weighs?"

'50gms!'..... '100gms!' ......'125gms' ...the students answered.

"I really don't know unless I weigh it," said the professor, "but, my question is:

What would happen if I held it up like this for a few minutes?"

'Nothing' .....the students said.

'Ok what would happen if I held it up like this for an hour?' the professor asked.

'Your arm would begin to ache' said one of the student

"You're right, now what would happen if I held it for a day?"

"Your arm could go numb; you might have severe muscle stress & paralysis & have to go to hospital for sure!" ..... ventured another student & all the students laughed

"Very good.

But during all this, did the weight of the glass change?" Asked the professor.

'No'.... Was the answer.

"Then what caused the arm ache & the muscle stress?"

The students were puzzled.

"What should I do now to come out of pain?" asked professor again.

"Put the glass down!" said one of the students

"Exactly!" said the professor.

Life's problems are something like this. Hold it for a few minutes in your head & they seem OK.

Think of them for a long time & they begin to ache. Hold it even longer & they begin to paralyze you. You will not be able to do anything.

It's important to think of the challenges or problems in your life, but EVEN MORE IMPORTANT is to 'PUT THEM DOWN' at the end of every day before you go to sleep...

That way, you are not stressed, you wake up every day fresh &strong & can handle any issue, any challenge that comes your way!

So, when you leave office today, remember my friend to 'PUT THE GLASS DOWN TODAY! '

Relating with Innerself!!

2009-02-24T22:46:00.001-08:00

The most important relationship we have in our lives is with our selves. And even though we are the only ones who are present at every moment of our lives—from birth onward—this relationship can be the most difficult one to cultivate. This may be because society places such emphasis on the importance of being in a romantic partnership, even teaching us to set aside our own needs for the needs of another. Until we know ourselves, however, we cannot possibly choose the right relationship to support our mutual growth toward our highest potential. By allowing ourselves to be comfortable with being alone, we can become the people with whom we want to have a relationship.

Perhaps at no other time in history has it been possible for people to survive, and even thrive, while living alone. We can now support ourselves financially, socially, and emotionally without needing a spouse for survival in any of these realms. With this freedom, we can pursue our own interests and create fulfilling partnerships with friends, business partners, creative cohorts, and neighbors. Once we've satisfied our needs and created our support system, a mate then becomes someone with whom we can share the bounty of all we've created and the beauty we've discovered within ourselves.

As we move away from tradition and fall into more natural cycles of being in the world today, we may find that there are times where being alone nourishes us and other periods in which a partnership is best for our growth. We may need to learn to create spaces to be alone within relationships. When we can shift our expectations of our relationships with ourselves and others to opportunities for discovery, we open ourselves to forge new paths and encounter uncharted territory. Being willing to know and love ourselves, and to find what truly makes us feel deeply and strongly, gives us the advantage of being able to attract and choose the right people with whom to share ourselves, whether those relationships fall into recognizable roles or not. Choosing to enjoy being alone allows us to fully explore our most important relationship—the one with our true selves.

The Millionaire and The Monk!!

2009-02-24T22:17:00.000-08:00

There was a millionaire who was bothered by severe eye pain. He consulted so many physicians and was getting his treatment done. He did not stop consulting galaxy of medical experts; he consumed heavy loads of drugs and underwent hundreds of injections.

But the ache persisted with great vigour than before. At last a monk who has supposed to be an expert in treating such patients was called for by the millionaire.

The monk understood his problem and said that for sometime he should concentrate only on green colours and not to fall his eyes on any other colours.

The millionaire got together a group of painters and purchased barrels of green colour and directed that every object his eye was likely to fall to be painted in green colour just as the monk had directed.

When the monk came to visit him after few days, the millionaire's servants ran with buckets of green paints and poured on him since he was in red dress, lest their master not see any other colour and his eye ache would come back.

Hearing this monk laughed said "If only you had purchased a pair of green spectacles, worth just a few rupees, you could have saved these walls and trees and pots and all other articles and also could have saved a large share of his fortune."!!

REFLECTION

You cannot paint the world green. Let us change our vision and the world will appear accordingly.

It is foolish to shape the world, let us shape ourselves first.

Let’s change our vision!! Think simple, Live simple!

Turning around a bad day!!

2009-02-23T03:18:00.001-08:00

Bad days happen to the best of us. Days where you just wake up in a really bad mood. Where something (or nothing) has made you angry, sad, frustrated, disappointed, whatever.

You still have to get up and go to work, but before you even get there, you are already seething inside. You try to do your job but somehow all the angry, dissatisfied clients have conspired to call you and complain on the same day - though you have no idea, how they coordinated that little feat.

Everything your co-workers say to you sounds incredibly stupid. Everyone seems out to annoy you. The next person to open his mouth is likely to get his head ripped clean off.

Not much fun, huh? Luckily, you can do something about it. Here are six ways to turn around a bad day.

1: Accept Your Bad Mood
Being in a bad mood is not that hard. Being in a bad mood while trying to force you to cheer up really sucks.

Fighting a bad mood only prolongs it, so if you are mad, be mad. If you are sad, be sad. This does not give you license to be rude and unpleasant to innocent bystanders, it just means that you need to recognize and accept your bad mood to be able to do something about.

2: Tell Others
In one chapter of the "Happy At Work" Book, It is described how the IT support department at medical company Leo Pharma give employees permission to say when they're having a bad day. With the result that people have fewer bad days and recover faster from the ones they do have.

You can try to keep you bad mood a secret and put on your happy mask. Guess what, you are fooling nobody. Your co-workers will notice and they will wonder what they have done to piss you off.

The best thing to do is to tell the people you work closely with. Simply tell them "listen guys, I'm in a really sour mood to today. I am not sure why, but it is nothing you have done. If I bite your head off, I apologize in advance".

3: Look Inside First
In the extremely influential book Emotional Intelligence, Daniel Goleman argues that EQ, your emotional quotient, is what makes you successful, not IQ. This means that the truly successful people are not the smart ones but the ones with the best emotional skills.

Goleman defines five emotional competencies that make up EQ, two of which are:
The ability to identify and name one's emotional states and to understand the link between emotions, thought and action.
The capacity to manage one's emotional states — to control emotions or to shift undesirable emotional states to more adequate ones.

In other words, EQ relies on your ability to recognize and deal with your own emotions.

When you are in a bad mood, its extremely tempting to look around you for sources of that mood. "Man I'm annoyed today. Must be Paul talking loudly on the phone. Or Lisa being late with the specs once again. Or…"

We tend to think that a bad mood is always caused by something or someone else. And when we're in a bad mood, everything suddenly becomes annoying, making it even easier to find justifications for the bad mood.

However, not every bad mood has a reason. Maybe you just slept badly. On the other hand, you are coming down with the flu. Alternatively, you are just having a bad day. In these cases, trying to justify a bad mood is a sucker's bet.

Instead, you must look inside yourself first, to see what might or might not be the cause of your negative emotional state.

4: Remember The Good Stuff
When you are in a foul mood, everything is bad. However, the good things you appreciated yesterday, where you were not as annoyed, are probably still there - you are just not seeing them.

Spend a few moments to try thinking of at least one or two things that are not all bad. Something you look forward to. A person you like at work. Something nice that happened recently.

5: This Too Shall Pass
You have been in a bad mood before. It passed. So will this one. It is no big deal.

6: Take Some Quiet Time
Moreover, if you are having a really bad day, it may be a good idea to withdraw a little if you can. Take a walk in your lunch break. Sit and work somewhere quiet. Take a loooooong bathroom break. Consider going home early or taking the day off.

Performance Innovation::Dr.Rogers!

2009-02-22T07:26:00.000-08:00

Have you ever noticed that when someone enthusiastically offers you something new and unique as a sure-fire cure for whatever ails you, your initial, visceral reaction is not wildly positive? This is equally true of the workplace when innovations burst on the scene.

What Is Innovation?

In Diffusion of Innovation, Everett Rogers defines innovation as "an idea, practice, or object that is perceived as new by an individual or other unit of adoption." Innovations tend to trigger two reactions: positive - such as "it's about time," "we sure need a change" or "it will save us time and money" - and negative - such as "not another flavor of the month," "it won't fly around here" or "been there, done that."

With performance improvement innovations, the scale generally tips toward the negative.

In the Swann and Flanders British comedy team's song about innovation, "The Reluctant Cannibal," the cannibal chief exclaims, "But people have always eaten people... always will eat people. You can't change human nature... If this idea were to catch on, it would just about ruin our entire internal economy."

General systems theory defines a system, physical or social, as composed of interacting elements within a defined environment functioning to achieve a common end. Each element operates according to its individual rules while interacting with other elements also according to specific rules. Introduce a new element into a system and either the equilibrium is disrupted, resulting in system slowdown of failure; system efficiency and effectiveness improve; or the innovation simply gets absorbed and nothing changes.

When we, as performance professionals, have done our work thoroughly and identified factors affecting a system's performance, we still must gain acceptance of our findings and recommendations. This is especially true if what we propose is innovative.

Five Success Factors

Returning to Rogers, one of the most cited adoption-of-innovation researchers, five facilitative characteristics of innovation increase probability of acceptance:

1. Relative advantage:
Stakeholders judge the innovation as an obvious improvement over the current state.

2. Compatability:
Potential adopters and decision makers view the innovation positively as consistent with their existing values, past experiences and needs.

3. Simplicity:
Innovation is easy to understand and use.

4. Trialability:
The innovation can be readily tested on a limited, nonthreatening basis.

5. Observability:
Adopters and stakeholders can see for themselves the beneficial results the innovation offers.

Rogers also lays out an innovation-adoption model that transforms into five strategic steps:

1. Build knowledge of need and solution.
Demonstrate the need clearly and best steps to take. Show success examples. Inform, display and explain in meaningful ways.

2. Provide persuasive messages.
Center these on the five success factors.

3. Organize to obtain "go forward" decisions.
Identify key decision makers and opinion influencers essential to adoption. Work with them individually and in groups to provide evidence and to help simplify the decision process.

4. Support implementation.
Play a strong role in implementation by facilitating communication, identifying resources, maintaining the innovation vision and troubleshooting impediments.

5. Confirm successes.
Monitor how the innovation is working. Gather evidence of success and spread the word. Support those who struggle initially.

The Value of Performance Innovations

The old saw says, "If you always do what you've always done, you'll always get what you've always got." Performance professionals do not propose innovations out of enthusiasm, but out of careful analysis of performance, based on credible data. The solutions we advance are appropriate, economical, feasible and acceptable to the organization, performers and all affected parties. We prepare their terrain. We proceed with diplomacy and determination. We also document and collect data in anticipation of the next innovation challenge.

[About the Author: Harold D. Stolovitch, Ph.D., CPT is a principal of HSA Learning & Performance Solutions LLC and is emeritus professor of instructional and performance technology at the Universite de Montreal.]

May be!!

2009-02-22T07:17:00.000-08:00

Maybe. .
we were supposed to meet the wrong people before meeting the right one so that, when we finally meet the right person, we will know how to be grateful for that gift.

Maybe . .. .
when the door of happiness closes, another opens; but, often times, we look so long at the closed door that we don't even see the new one which has been opened for us.

Maybe . . .
it is true that we don't know what we have until we lose it, but it is also true that we don't know what we have been missing until it arrives.

Maybe . . .
the happiest of people don't necessarily have the best of everything; they just make the most of everything that comes along their way.

Maybe . . .
the brightest future will always be based on a forgotten past; after all, you can't go on successfully in life until you let go of your past mistakes, failures and heartaches.

Maybe . . .
you should dream what you want to dream; go where you want to go, be what you want to be, because you have only one life and one chance to do all the things you dream of, and
want to do.

Maybe . . .
there are moments in life when you miss someone -- a parent, a spouse, a friend, a child -- so much that you just want to pick them from your dreams and hug them for real, so
that once they are around you appreciate them more.

Maybe . . .
the best kind of friend is the kind you can sit on a porch and swing with, never say a word, and then walk away feeling like it was the best conversation you've ever had.

Maybe . .
you should always try to put yourself in others' shoes. If you feel that something could hurt you, it probably will hurt the other person, too.

Maybe . .
you should do something nice for someone every single day, even if it is simply to leave them alone.

Maybe . .

giving someone all your love is never an assurance that they will love you back. Don't expect love in return; just wait for it to grow in their heart; but, if it doesn't, be content that it grew in yours.

Maybe . .. .

happiness waits for all those who cry, all those who hurt, all those who have searched, and all those who have tried, for only they can appreciate the importance of all the people who have touched their lives.

Maybe . . .
you shouldn't go for looks; they can deceive; don't go for wealth; even that fades away. Go for someone who makes you smile, because it takes only a smile to make a dark day seem bright. Find the one that makes your heart smile.

Maybe . .
you should hope for enough happiness to make you sweet, enough trials to make you strong, enough sorrow to keep you human, and enough hope to make you happy

Maybe . . .
you should try to live your life to the fullest because when you were born, you were crying and everyone around you was smiling but when you die, you can be the one who is smiling and everyone around you crying.

Maybe. . .
you could send this message to those people who mean something to you, to those who have touched your life, to those who can and do make you smile when you really need it,
to those who make you see the brighter side of things when you are really down, and to all those whom you want to know that you appreciate them and their friendship.

And if you don't, don't worry; nothing bad will happen to you. You will just miss out on the opportunity to perhaps brighten someone's day.

The Right Attitude Can Lead to Empowerment!!

2009-02-21T21:38:00.000-08:00

Discourse: Swami Sukhabodhananda
Courtsey:Times of India

A young girl walks on the lonely street, unhappy with herself. She is not beautiful like others are. “My friends have boyfriends and i do not. They are happy. Since i am not beautiful, I have no boyfriend.”

A strong breeze blows against her face and her silky hair starts dancing. It says to her: “Be like me my child, go with the flow and you will glow.” The breeze teaches her to have an attitude which will lift her beyond mere physical beauty.

The breeze is constantly moving; so to move with the vastness of life without getting stuck, be like it, constantly move. The breeze says to her: “I do not move for happiness but out of happiness. I do not dance for happiness but out of happiness. A youth should learn this art to operate from happiness and not for happiness. Happiness is an attitude. To be a winner in life is also an attitude.”

Your attitude is more important than facts for the right attitude can empower you. When you are empowered, you are bigger than a problem rather than a victim to a problem, and living in such a space makes you a winner.

An easy task becomes difficult when you have a poor attitude. A difficult task becomes challenging when you have a good attitude.

Change your body posture. A trainer talking to students on the subject of public speaking told them: “When you talk of heaven your face must be glowing and radiating joy. Your eyes must shine and lips should reflect heaven.” “What about talking of hell?” asked the student. “Your normal face is enough,” replied the trainer.

Change your mind. Always entertain healthy thoughts. Positive thoughts are a great asset. A pessimist sees difficulty in an opportunity and an optimist sees opportunity in a difficulty. Understand that when one door closes another opens. Trust life. Insecurity invites you to be alert and not worried. It tells you to be creative and not complain. One has to know how to take it easy and float in life and not fight with life. You can’t fight with the waves but you can learn to float.

Change your emotions. The quality of your life is the quality of your consistent emotion. When your emotion is low, just change it; think of a happy incident. Change your values. Have values that connect to goodness and connect to people.

Lots of people fear failure, death, insecurity and rejection. Come from a commitment that failure is only postponed success. Failure is the fertilizer for success. If you bring this energy into your life, it will give you methods of handling fear of failure. Also understand that fear is a movement of thought. Thought is nothing but a movement of the mental word.

If you get identified with a fear which is actually just a thought, which again is just a word, then this identification makes you a prisoner of fear. Also, this thought-fear unconsciously pulls in the previous memories of fear and with the past fears, a snowballing effect happens.

So when fear happens, just become totally aware and don’t get identified with that thought. With wordless awareness, just watch. This watching will not allow the previous fears to have a snowballing effect. This is called objective watching.

You feel insecure because you have a concept of what is security and from that concept you are seeing life. Anything that does not fit that concept makes you insecure.

If you have the spirit of adventure in you then insecurity is a great adventure for you to explore. You will have fun with that insecurity. Learn to trust that insecurity is inviting you to be creative.

Peace from inside!!

2009-02-21T06:14:00.000-08:00

In our noisy world, we often find ourselves longing for peace and searching to find it somewhere else. While it's true that there are places we can visit where we can experience peace, such as sacred sites or buildings, we do not need to wait until we get to one of these places to feel at peace. Instead, we can learn to locate the seed of peace inside ourselves and cultivate it so that it grows into a reliable source of serenity that we can always access, no matter where we are.

We experience peace when we are in a state of mental calm and serenity. It might surprise you to notice how infrequently you allow yourself to be free from anxiety. Realizing this is the first step to inner peace. If you wait until all the details of your life are taken care of to allow yourself to experience peace, you will never feel peaceful because there is always something that your mind can grab onto to create anxiety. It is important to consciously set aside your worries and make time to cultivate inner peace.

Ideally, you could schedule time each day to meditate on peace and experience what it feels like to be calm and serene. It takes practice to learn how to let go of your worries, so give yourself some time. Inhale deeply, and feel your worries dissolve with every exhale. Remind yourself that soon enough you will be able to take care of everything you need to, but right now you are taking a break. As the clutter of your thoughts and concerns clear away, you will start to feel more serene. Allow yourself to move deeper into this state with each inhale. Realize that you have the power to free yourself from anxiety simply by deciding to do so. The more you practice feeling peaceful, the easier it will be for you to feel at peace.

Reasons for doing Good!!

2009-02-21T06:09:00.001-08:00

With all that takes place in our lives, it can sometimes be easy to overlook the fact that we're part of something greater than ourselves—a collective consciousness, the Universe, a greater cause. Because of our tendency to forget this, we might make decisions in our lives that don't reflect that responsibility that comes with this belonging. All too often, we focus just on the short-term, tangible gain to ourselves without worrying about its consequences. Other times, we may discard the greater cause because it seems like "hard work." The challenge is to expand our minds so that we transcend the distinction between self and others, so we are aware of how our choices and actions can impact a greater cause.

Contributing to the greater cause doesn't have to be all about self-sacrifice. For example, if you plant a tree in a community space, its shelter will cool and protect you as well as your neighbors. Or, your reward might be in the form of the beauty that you now see in that space or the sincere smiles of appreciation from neighbors. When you serve the greater cause you also serve your greater good. There is nothing that you cannot do for your highest good that will not benefit the good of all. For example, saying no to a relationship that isn't right for you not only benefits you but serves the greater good of the other person that you are honoring with your honesty. Saying yes to your dream job not only fulfills you but also serves the people that will benefit from your enthusiasm and productivity.

When you know you are serving a greater cause, there is little room for fear and doubt. You know that what you do will benefit others, so there is no way the universe is not going to support your efforts - even if sometimes it may not look that way. Serving the greater cause allows you to live from the space of your greatness. When you know that what you do can serve a greater cause, you are aware of your power and ability to influence and create change in this world.

The 10 Commandments of Azim Premji!!

2009-02-21T06:01:00.000-08:00

Stories are abound about Azim Hasham Premji in the Indian business circles. Here, we capture his advice to techies in ten simple commandments— Premji's commandments

Stories are abound about Azim Hasham Premji in the Indian business circles. He is credited with transforming the fledgling $2 million hydrogenated cooking fat company he inherited from his father at the age of 21 into a $2.1 billion IT Services organization serving customers from across the globe. A recipient of many awards and accolades—primary among them being Time magazine's listing him as one of the world's 100 most influential people in 2004 and the Padma Bhushan in 2005—Premji, unlike many others believes each one of them is recognition for all those who over the years have shared his thoughts and experiences on a host of issues ranging from India's meteoric rise in the world order to the importance of universal quality education. Here, we capture his advice to techies in ten simple commandments—Premji's commandments.

1) Take charge, dream on
The first thought that crossed young Azim Premji's mind when he stepped into the Wipro factory at Almaner was 'take charge'. The times decidedly were tough. His father had passed away and he was faced with the dilemma of coming down from Stanford University leaving his electrical engineering degree mid-way, to look after the family's vegetable oils business or as many people advised, taking up a nice, cushy job. "At such times when you feel lost," he says looking back, "there is a small voice inside you that tells you where to go. You can either amplify the voice to make it the purpose of your life or ignore it and turn if off."

An essential component of taking charge is having a dream as to where we want to go. No doubt there will be setbacks in the pursuance of that dream, but still we must keep dreaming. Says Premji, "What saddens me most is to see young, bright people getting completely disillusioned by a few initial setbacks and slowly turning cynical. What's worse is that some of them want to migrate to America hoping that it is the solution." Dreams are most needed when just about everything is going wrong. They provide the inspiration and ensure that one remains in charge of the situation.

2) Earn your happiness
"It is a common saying that a Rupee earned is of far more value than five found," says Premji. He recalls innumerable interviews when he's asked the interviewees to narrate their most memorable achievements and they've recounted those which needed maximum effort on their part. "It is almost as if the pain they faced is now an integral part of their pleasure," he says, adding, "I guess we only know the value of what we have if we have struggled to earn it."

3)Nothing succeeds like failure, nothing fails like success
"It is impossible to generate a few good ideas without a lot of bad ideas. Failure should be forgiven and forgotten quickly," says Premji. If we encounter failure along the way, we should treat it as a natural phenomenon and not beat ourselves or any one else for that matter. In fact, as the following story illustrates, we could look at failures or pitfalls as the stepping stones to success.

One day a farmer's donkey fell into a well. It cried piteously for hours as the farmer tried to figure out what to do. Finally, he decided the animal was old and the well needed to be covered up anyway. So he, along with his neighbors, grabbed a shovel each and began to shovel dirt into the well. On realizing the motive behind the act, the donkey initially cried more loudly and then, to everyone's amazement, quietened down. A few shovel loads later, the farmer curiously looked down the well and came away astonished.

With every shovel of dirt that fell on his back, the donkey would shake it off and take a step up. As the farmer's neighbors continued to shovel dirt on the animal, he would shake it off and take a step up. Pretty soon, it stepped over the edge of the well and tottered away.

"Life is going to shovel dirt on you, all kinds of dirt," says Premji. "The trick is not to get bogged down by it. We can get out of the deepest wells by not stopping. Shake it off and take a step up!"

Even while practicing the shake off and step up act, we ought not to let success get into our heads. In other words, retention of humility is a must. He narrates another story to elucidate its importance.

A lady and her husband, both dressed in faded clothes, walked in without an appointment into the office of the President of the most prestigious educational institution in America. After waiting for hours, they were allowed to meet the President who glared sternly at them. The lady said, "Our son, who studied here was killed in an accident a year ago." She expressed her desire of erecting a building in memory of her deceased son in the University campus.

"A building?" exclaimed the President, looking at their worn out clothes. Convinced that they did not have the means to erect a memorial, he said, "Do you have any idea that our buildings cost close to ten million dollars?'' With that, the President thought he'd get rid of them.

The lady looked at her husband calmly. "If that is what it costs to start a university, why don't we start our own?" she queried. Her husband nodded. Mr. and Mrs. Leland Stanford walked away, traveling to Palo Alto, California, where they established a University as a memorial to their son, bearing their name - the Stanford University.

As this story shows, the moment we allow success to build a feeling of arrogance, we become vulnerable to making bad judgments.

4) There has to be a better way
Partly a corollary to his previous commandment, this one is centered around the fact that no matter how well we do something, there is always a better way to do it! "Excellence is not a destination but a journey," quips Premji, adding that sometimes when we reach a plateau in our climb for perfection, we need to look sideways. After all, innovation oftentimes is inspired from other disciplines. It is probably not a coincidence that Einstein's interest in music was as much as his interest in Physics and Bertrand Russell was as much a mathematician as a philosopher.

5) Define what you stand for
While success and finding better ways to reach its pinnacle are important, it becomes enduring only if it is built on a strong foundation of values. Premji, for one, is revered by his colleagues in the industry for insisting that Wipro will not pay bribes. He says that the fast propagation of the notion that values stand in the way of success holds no merit.

According to him, values serve as a strong anchor in a turbulent sea of changes and provide faith at times when it seems we are surrounded by darkness. They provide the courage to stand up to any distractions along the way. "Combined with a powerful vision, values can turbo-charge us to scale new heights and make us succeed beyond our wildest expectations," he quips.

6)Think what to take on next
Wipro's head honcho notes that too many people are so enamored by the legacy of success in their current roles that they are afraid to look further. This, he opines, often leads to inertia. "We must learn to look at change as an exciting adventure rather than a disruption. New avenues for learning always lie just beyond the shade of our comfort zone," he explains.

7)Play as a team, play to win
Playing to win does not mean playing dirty or cutting corners to get to the goal. Instead, it has to do with bringing out the best in us; it involves the desire to stretch and achieve something that seems beyond our grasp. For this, we must learn the importance of playing as a team.

"The challenges ahead are so complex that no individual will be able to face them alone," says Premji, a winner in his own right. While most of our education is focused on individual strength, teaming with members is equally important. "You cannot fire a missile from a canoe," he reasons, adding, "Unless you build a strong network of people with complimentary skills, you will be restricted by your own limitations and winning will remain a distant dream."

The aspect of playing in a team has also undergone a sea change in the last decade or so. Globalization has brought in people of different origins, upbringings, and cultures together. Today, playing as a team needs to include the ability to become an integral part of a cross-cultural team.

8) Remain physically active
Exercising and remaining fit is something that most techies take for granted in their youth. But they ought not, especially because exercise not only improves the health but also aids in better sleep while reducing the time needed for sleep itself. This assumes significance given the 24/7 rotation-oriented shift patterns most techies are required to follow. "While stress will go on increasing in a global world, we must find our own mechanism to deal with it," says Premji, adding that there is enough literature to support the finding that exercise effectively reduces stress.

9) Respond, not react
It is essential that we understand the difference between responding and reacting. While we respond, we evaluate with a calm mind and do whatever is most appropriate. We are in control of our actions. But when we react, we end up doing what the other person wants us to do. In this context, Premji recalls, as a youth 'reacting' to orders he did not resort to rebelling. "Rebellion as a reaction is conformity to something else," he says thoughtfully.

Oftentimes, when it comes to negative criticisms, he notes reflecting on his experiences, we make the mistake of reacting rather than responding. We must always welcome any form of criticism, for, as the story below illustrates, it helps us better ourselves.

A boy enrolled in an art school dreamt of becoming a great artist. His aspiration however was pulverized by his teacher who would always find some fault with his work. The student improved on his work continuously, hoping that one day he would hear a word of appreciation from his teacher. But it never happened. Finally, in disgust, he bought a painting from an accomplished artist, touched it up with fresh paint and showed it to his teacher. The teacher smiled and said, "Now this is really good work. Congratulations." Feeling guilty, the student confessed that it was not his painting. The teacher looked at him for a while and said, "Till now, I thought you wanted to paint a great picture. But I realize now that you do not seek any further improvement; it means that the last painting you did was the best you will ever do. Remember you have set these limits to your talent, not me."

"As we see here," says Premji, "criticism may actually be an expression of faith in us rather than a means of putting us down." If we react rather than respond to criticisms, we will only be limiting ourselves.

10) Have a broader social vision
The fact that the Wipro wizard has made a case for having a broader social vision many times over in numerous forums across the world explains how close it is to his heart.

"For decades we have been waiting for someone who will help us in 'priming the pump' of the economy," he notes with a certain discomfiture. Many think that thinking and working towards social causes is the sole onus of the day's government, but that is not the case. He elucidates how, in the 'millennium of the mind', knowledge-based industries like information technology are in a unique position to earn wealth from outside. This wealth, or a part of it, they must invest in bridging the immense inequality between India's rich and poor.

Not limiting himself to just philosophizing, Premji set up the Azim Premji Foundation. The foundation works towards the universalization of Primary Education. "The greatest gift one can give to others is the gift of education," he quips, reflecting emotionally on those who have educated him during his formative years, most of all, his father.

"The greatest legacy he endowed me with was the legacy of values. That is what has helped me become what I am today," signs off the new-age Indian plutocrat who incidentally loves hiking and insists on flying economy class.

Courtsey:www.thesmarttechie.com

The Joy of Living Simple!!

2009-02-12T21:25:00.000-08:00

The recent changes have brought in fear and worry in most of the people on how to manage the coming years.

Last 5 to 6 years, the importance of using money properly has lost its relevance. Just blindly copying unwanted culture has brought in high expectations, expenditure beyond proportion and artificial inflation across society.

The recent incident in December has made everyone to talk about the greediness of few individuals and also about the methods used to grow the company. Though I am not justifying the same, I honestly want to ask the question, what moral standards do all of us have to talk about it?

Most of the people (IT and other high earning Employees) have borrowed loans, 100% loan amount, for houses and Cars varying between 60 Lakhs to 1 Crore, paying EMI in the range of Rs 30K to 60K. Everyone assumed that the external world will go on like that. For those who got stocks, the expectation was that the stock value would grow in multiples within 1 or 2 years. Last few years the expectation of stock market is also the same. Everyone knows it is like gambling (simple mathematics knows it is not possible for it to grow) but still wanted to play around and make easy money.

Fundamentally the greediness in everyone has brought in the current state of affairs across the world and hence STOP blaming anyone for the same except our own selves.

What is the best all of us can do at this point of time? Let us all go back and look at our parents & ancestors and see how they lived life. Most of them lived a very simple and contended materialistic life and they were very happy with it.

Look at Abdul Kalam and other few great leaders. They are living a very simple life in spite of being popular and can afford a luxurious life. My father a lawyer by profession at the age of 81 still goes to the court by auto. Even in Wipro few of us, who are working for more than a decade live in rented houses and use only compact cars. The excess money is being donated for social benefit.

People like them are all passionate about the Job that they are doing and that passion alone is making them to grow stronger and stronger. Instead of choosing a career that will pay more money or focusing on external materialistic things alone, be passionate about the career or the Job that you are doing and that will give immense satisfaction.

The world is not going to be same again, it will still go through a lot of changes but let's us not worry and fear. If you look at the history, crossing several thousands of years, right from Satya yuga, Thretha yuga, Dwapra yuga and the current Kali yuga, even great people and leaders went through difficult times. Everyone has to go through a difficult time however great he or she is because Nature wants to cut the ego of every Human being and make them humbler and simpler. There are no exceptions and hence be ready to learn from the experience of difficult times.

There is nothing wrong in leading a Simple life - loan free and minimum expectation - makes one to enjoy every moment of life. Even if you have to take a loan, at the time of need, follow the 80:20 rule, 20% is loan and 80% your own investment. Even if you have taken a big loan, at worst situation, without bothering about the family circle etc, be ready to walk away without being possessed or sentimental about the item.

Success is not in materialism, Success is not what position or status you have in your Company or Society.

Real Success is if you can be at peace within yourself in every moment of your life.

Every Day Practice Silence for 10 minutes. It will slowly change you from an animalistic nature to being a Good Human being, caring & sharing for others. Finally it will take you to the Divine nature, Truth / Ultimate Silence, where you are aware that you are everything.

As Guruji Viswanath always says "Life is to be lived, respected and celebrated"

May God Bless you all to get the knowledge of True Wisdom and to lead a really Happy and Peaceful Life.

Balancing Life's Scales!!

2009-02-12T20:55:00.000-08:00

Like pieces of a puzzle, the many different aspects of your being come together to form the person that you are. You work and play, rest and expend energy, commune with your body and soul, exalt in joy, and feel sorrow. Balance is the state that you achieve when all of the aspects of your life and self are in harmony. Your life force flows in a state of equilibrium because nothing feels out of sync. While balance is necessary to have a satisfying, energetic, and joyful life, only you can determine what balance means to you.

Achieving balance requires that you assess what is important to you. The many demands of modern life can push us to make choices that can put us off balance and have a detrimental effect on our habits, relationships, health, and career. In creating a balanced lifestyle, you must ascertain how much time and energy you are willing to devote to the different areas of your life. To do so, imagine that your life is a house made up of many rooms. Draw this house, give each part of your life its own room, and size each room according to the amount of importance you assign to that aspect of your life. You can include family, solitude, activities that benefit others, healthy eating, indulgences, exercise and working on self. You may discover that certain elements of your life take up an inordinate amount of time, energy, or effort and leave you with few resources to nurture the other aspects of your life. You may want to spend less time on these activities and more on the ones that! fulfill you.

A balanced lifestyle is simply a state of being in which one has time and energy for obligations and pleasures, as well as time to live well and in a gratifying way. With its many nuances, balance can be a difficult concept to integrate into your life. Living a balanced existence, however, can help you attain a greater sense of happiness, health, and fulfillment.

Choosing a Friend!!

2009-02-12T05:26:00.000-08:00

Have you ever experienced the situation in which the difficulties of life become so intense that you wish to open your heart to someone?

The importance of having a friend in life in so great that according to scholars and intellectuals, every person could be identified through his/her friends. Moreover, a true and good friend can be a good supporter and assistant in all stages of life, and guide us towards a proper destination. In contrast, an inappropriate friend, who is not chosen based on suitable criteria, could prevent one from progress or even cause us to decline. Therefore, the decision as to whom we choose as a friend and whom we avoid is of great importance.

Do not become the companion, interlocutor, or friend of five people.
Ø Avoid the companionship of a liar, because he is like a mirage, which deceives you by showing the far, close to you and taking the close far from you.
Ø Avoid the companionship of a transgressor, because he would betray you for a morsel or even less than that.
Ø Avoid the companionship of a stingy person, because he would deprive you of his wealth when you are in extreme need of him.
Ø Avoid the companionship of a stupid person, because he would harm you (of his stupidity) even though he wants to benefit you.
Ø Avoid the companionship of a person who has cut off his ties of kinship, because I have found him distant from the mercy of God.

The Power Of Staying Positive!!

2009-02-12T05:24:00.000-08:00

Our thoughts are not simply ethereal pieces of information that enter our minds and then disappear. The words and ideas that we think can shape our lives and drive us toward success and happiness or failure and distress. How you think and feel can have a profound effect on your ability to recognize opportunity, how well you perform, and the outcome of the goals that you've set for yourself. When you maintain an optimistic outlook and make an effort to harbor only positive thoughts, you begin to create the circumstances conducive to you achieving what you desire. You feel in control and few of life's challenges seem truly overwhelming because it is in your nature to expect a positive conclusion. An optimistic mind is also an honest one. Staying positive does not mean that you ignore difficulties or disregard limitations. Instead, it means spending time focusing only on the thoughts that are conducive to your well-being and progress.

Positive thinking dramatically increases your chances of success in any endeavor. When you're sure that you are worthy and that achievement is within your grasp, you start to relax and look for solutions rather than dwelling on problems. You are more likely to imagine positive situations or outcomes and disregard the thoughts related to giving up, failure, or roadblocks. What the mind expects, it finds. If you anticipate joy, good health, happiness, and accomplishment, then you will experience each one. Thinking positively may sound like a simple shift in attention – and it is – but it is a mind-set that must be developed. Whenever a negative thought enters your mind, try immediately replacing it with a constructive or optimistic one. With persistence, you can condition your mind to judge fleeting, self-defeating thoughts as inconsequential and dismiss them.

It is within your power to become as happy, content, or successful as you make up your mind to be. Staying positive may not have an immediate effect on your situation, but it will likely have a profound and instantaneous effect on your mood and the quality of your experiences. In order for positive thinking to change your life, it must become your predominant mind-set. Once you are committed to embracing positive thinking, you'll start believing that everything that you want is within your grasp.

Dance and Relationship!!

2009-02-12T05:22:00.000-08:00

Anyone in a long-term relationship knows that the dance of intimacy involves coming together and moving apart. Early in a relationship, intense periods of closeness are important in order to establish the ground of a new union. Just as a sapling needs a lot more attention than a full-grown tree, budding relationships demand time and attention if they are to fully take root. Once they become more established, the individuals in the union begin to turn their attention outward again, to the other parts of their lives that matter, such as work, family, and friendships. This is natural and healthy. Yet, if a long-term relationship is to last, turning towards one another recurrently, with the same curiosity, attention, and nurturance of earlier times, is essential.

In a busy and demanding world full of obligations and opportunities, we sometimes lose track of our primary relationships, thinking they will tend to themselves. We may have the best intentions when we think about how nice it would be to surprise our partner with a gift or establish a weekly date night. Yet somehow, life gets in the way. We may think that our love is strong enough to survive without attention. Yet even mature trees need water and care if they are to thrive.

One of the best ways to nourish a relationship is through communication. If you feel that a distance has grown between you and your partner, you may be able to bridge the gap by sharing how you feel. Do your best to avoid blame and regret. Focus instead on the positive, which is the fact that you want to grow closer together. Sometimes, just acknowledging that there is distance between you has the effect of bringing the relationship into balance. In other cases, more intense effort and attention may be required. You may want to set aside time to talk and come up with solutions together. Remember to have compassion for each other. You're in the same boat together and trying to maintain the right balance of space and togetherness to keep your relationship healthy and thriving. Express faith and confidence in each other, and enjoy the slow dance of intimacy that can resume between the two of you.

Spirit of Sea!!

2009-02-12T05:12:00.000-08:00

Native Americans teach us that the Great Spirit speaks to us through our animal brethren. The whale is one animal that we can learn from. Whales have existed for over 50 million years and are considered to be record-keepers who possess knowledge of the past.

It is through the vibrations of their unique sound that they release this ancient wisdom to us. At the same time, their sound carries across such great distances that whales can enter the realm of the future where they can acquire knowledge of what is to come. Every whale sings a song, and they never repeat the same pattern when they sing their song. Since whales must be conscious at all times in order to breathe, they cannot afford to fall into an unconscious state for too long. Never completely asleep, their brain has constant access to the collective unconscious where all answers lie. Whales float peacefully, secure in the ocean environment that supports and sustains them.

You can learn from the wisdom of whales by remembering to express what's uniquely yours. Each of us has a unique "song" or gift to offer the world. Your song is meant to be sung by you and heard by others. No one else can sing this song but you, and your song is medicine for the healing of the planet. Like whales, you can choose to access information about the future when you go into a meditative state. Whales teach us to look at where we came from and where we are headed. Knowing that our past helps shape our future, we can remember to make positive choices regarding our lives, the environment, and our world. Like whales, we can remember to stay awake and actively engaged in a universe that supports and sustains us. When we express ourselves and share our unique gifts, we add our wisdom and vibration to the planet.

10 Deadly Sins of Negative Thinking!!

2009-02-12T02:12:00.000-08:00

The way to overcome negative thoughts and destructive emotions is to develop opposing, positive emotions that are stronger and more powerful." - Dalai Lama

Life could be so much better for many people, if they would just spot their negative thinking habits and replace them with positive ones.

Negative thinking, in all its many-splendored forms, has a way of creeping into conversations and our thinking without our noticing them. The key to success, in my humble opinion, is learning to spot these thoughts and squash them like little bugs. Then replace them with positive ones. You'll notice a huge difference in everything you do.

Let's take a look at 10 common ways that negative thinking emerges — get good at spotting these patterns, and practice replacing them with positive thinking patterns. It has made all the difference in the world for me.

10 Deadly Sins of Negative Thinking

1. I will be happy once I have _____ (or once I earn X).

Problem: If you think you can't be happy until you reach a certain point, or until you reach a certain income, or have a certain type of house or car or computer setup, you'll never be happy. That elusive goal is always just out of reach. Once we reach those goals, we are not satisfied — we want more.

Solution: Learn to be happy with what you have, where you are, and who you are, right at this moment. Happiness doesn't have to be some state that we want to get to eventually — it can be found right now. Learn to count your blessings, and see the positive in your situation. This might sound simplistic, but it works.

2. I wish I were as ____ as (a celebrity, friend, co-worker).

Problem: We'll never be as pretty, as talented, as rich, as sculpted, as cool, as everyone else. There will always be someone better, if you look hard enough. Therefore, if we compare ourselves to others like this, we will always pale, and will always fail, and will always feel bad about ourselves. This is no way to be happy.

Solution: Stop comparing yourself to others, and look instead at yourself — what are your strengths, your accomplishments, your successes, however small? What do you love about yourself? Learn to love who you are, right now, not who you want to become. There is good in each of us, love in each of us, and a wonderful human spirit in every one of us.

3. Seeing others becoming successful makes me jealous and resentful.

Problem: First, this assumes that only a small number of people can be successful. In truth, many, many people can be successful — in different ways.

Solution: Learn to admire the success of others, and learn from it, and be happy for them, by empathizing with them and understanding what it must be like to be them. And then turn away from them, and look at yourself — you can be successful too, in whatever you choose to do. And even more, you already are successful. Look not at those above you in the social ladder, but those below you — there are always millions of people worse off than you, people who couldn't even read this article or afford a computer. In that light, you are a huge success.

4. I am a miserable failure — I can't seem to do anything right.

Problem: Everyone is a failure, if you look at it in certain ways. Everyone has failed, many times, at different things. I have certainly failed so many times I cannot count them — and I continue to fail, daily. However, looking at your failures as failures only makes you feel bad about yourself. By thinking in this way, we will have a negative self-image and never move on from here.

Solution: See your successes and ignore your failures. Look back on your life, in the last month, or year, or 5 years. And try to remember your successes. If you have trouble with this, start documenting them — keep a success journal, either in a notebook or online. Document your success each day, or each week. When you look back at what you've accomplished, over a year, you will be amazed. It's an incredibly positive feeling.

5. I'm going to beat so-and-so no matter what — I'm better than him. And there's no way I'll help him succeed — he might beat me.

Problem: Competitiveness assumes that there is a small amount of gold to be had, and I need to get it before he does. It makes us into greedy, back-stabbing, hurtful people. We try to claw our way over people to get to success, because of our competitive feelings. For example, if a blogger wants to have more subscribers than another blogger, he may never link to or mention that other blogger. However, who is to say that my subscribers can't also be yours? People can read and subscribe to more than one blog.

Solution: Learn to see success as something that can be shared, and learn that if we help each other out, we can each have a better chance to be successful. Two people working towards a common goal are better than two people trying to beat each other up to get to that goal. There is more than enough success to go around. Learn to think in terms of abundance rather than scarcity.

6. Dammit! Why do these bad things always happen to me?

Problem: Bad things happen to everybody. If we dwell on them, they will frustrate us and bring us down.

Solution: See bad things as a part of the ebb and flow of life. Suffering is a part of the human condition — but it passes. All pain goes away, eventually. Meanwhile, don't let it hold you back. Don't dwell on bad things, but look forward towards something good in your future. And learn to take the bad things in stride, and learn from them. Bad things are actually opportunities to grow and learn and get stronger, in disguise.

7. You can't do anything right! Why can't you be like ____ ?

Problem: This can be said to your child or your subordinate or your sibling. The problem? Comparing two people, first of all, is always a fallacy. People are different, with different ways of doing things, different strengths and weaknesses, different human characteristics. If we were all the same, we'd be robots. Second, saying negative things like this to another person never helps the situation. It might make you feel better, and more powerful, but in truth, it hurts your relationship, it will actually make you feel negative, and it will certainly make the other person feel negative and more likely to continue negative behavior. Everyone loses.

Solution: Take the mistakes or bad behavior of others as an opportunity to teach. Show them how to do something. Second, praise them for their positive behavior, and encourage their success. Last, and most important, love them for who they are, and celebrate their differences.

8. Your work sucks. It's super lame. You are a moron and I hope you never reproduce.

Problem: I've actually gotten this comment before. It feels wonderful. However, let's look at it not from the perspective of the person receiving this kind of comment but from the perspective of the person giving it. How does saying something negative like this help you? I guess it might feel good to vent if you feel like your time has been wasted. But really, how much of your time has been wasted? A few minutes? And whose fault is that? The bloggers or yours? In truth, making negative comments just keeps you in a negative mindset. It's also not a good way to make friends.

Solution: Learn to offer constructive solutions, first of all. Instead of telling someone their blog sucks, or that a post is lame, offer some specific suggestions for improvement. Help them get better. If you are going to take the time to make a comment, make it worth your time. Second, learn to interact with people in a more positive way — it makes others feel good and it makes you feel better about yourself. And you can make some great friends this way. That's a good thing.

9. Insulting People Back

Problem: If someone insults you or angers you in some way, insulting them back and continuing your anger only transfers their problem to you. This person was probably having a bad day (or a bad year) and took it out on you for some reason. If you reciprocate, you are now having a bad day too. His problem has become yours. Not only that, but the cycle of insults can get worse and worse until it results in violence or other negative consequences — for both of you.

Solution: Let the insults or negative comments of others slide off you like Teflon. Don't let their problem become yours. In fact, try to understand their problem more —why would someone say something like that? What problems are they going through? Having a little empathy for someone not only makes you understand that their comment is not about you, but it can make you feel and act in a positive manner towards them — and make you feel better about yourself in the process.

10. I don't think I can do this — I don't have enough discipline. Maybe some other time.

Problem: If you don't think you can do something, you probably won't. Especially for the big stuff. Discipline has nothing to do with it — motivation and focus has everything to do with it. And if you put stuff off for "some other time", you'll never get it done. Negative thinking like this inhibits us from accomplishing anything.

Solution: Turn your thinking around: you can do this! You don't need discipline. Find ways to make yourself a success at your goal. If you fail, learn from your mistakes, and try again. Instead of putting a goal off for later, start now. And focus on one goal at a time, putting all of your energy into it, and getting as much help from others as you can. You can really move mountains if you start with positive thinking.

20 Ways to find Free Time!!

2009-02-12T01:59:00.000-08:00

"The real problem of leisure time is how to keep others from using yours." - Arthur Lacey

Are there a hundred different things you wish you could do with your life someday — anything from exercising to meditation or yoga to writing that novel you always wished you could write to reading more to relaxing and watching the sunrise? But perhaps you never have the time, like most people.

The truth is, we all have the same amount of time, and it's finite and in great demand. But some of us have made the time for doing the things we love doing, and others have allowed the constant demands and pressures and responsibilities of life to dictate their days.

It's time to move from the second group back into the first. Reclaim your time. Create the life you want and make the most of the free time you lay claim to. It's not hard, though it does take a little bit of effort and diligence.

Not all of these will be applicable to your life — choose the ones you can apply and give them a try:

1) Take a time out. Freeing up your time starts with taking a step back to take a good look at your life. You need to block off at least an hour. Several hours or half a day is better. A whole day would be awesome. A weekend would be even more ideal, though not necessary practical for many folks. With this block of time, take a look at your life with some perspective. Is it what you've always wanted? How would you get to where you've always wanted to be? What do you enjoy doing, but don't have enough time to do? What things actually fill up your day? Are there things you could drop or minimize to make more time? We'll look at some of these things in the following items, but it starts with taking a time out to think and plan.

2) Find your essentials. What is it that you love to do? Make a short list of 4-5 things. These are the things you want to make room for.

3) Find your time-wasters. What do you spend a lot of your time on that isn't on your essential list? Take a close look at these things and really think about whether they're necessary, or if there are ways to reduce, minimize or eliminate these things. Sometimes you do things because you assume they're necessary, but if you give it some thought you can find ways to drop them from your life. Figure out what you do simply to waste time — maybe surfing certain sites, watching TV, talking a lot at the water cooler, etc. You're going to want to minimize these time-wasters to make room for the more important stuff, the stuff that makes you happy and that you love to do.

4) Schedule the time. As you sit down and think about your life and what you want to do, versus what you actually do, you will be looking at ways to free up time. It's crucial that you take a blank weekly schedule (you can just write it out on a piece of paper, or use your calendar) and assign blocks for the things you love — the stuff on your essentials list. If you want to exercise, for example, when will you do it? Put the blocks of time on your schedule, and make these blocks the most important appointments of your week. Schedule the rest of your life around these blocks.

5) Consolidate. There are many things you do, scattered throughout your day or your week, that you might be able to consolidate in order to save time. A good example is errands — instead of running one or two a day, do them all in one day to save time and gas. Another example is email, or any kind of communication — batch process your email instead of checking and reading and responding throughout the day. Same thing with meetings, paperwork, anything that you do regularly.

6) Cut out meetings. This isn't possible for everyone, but in my experience meetings take up a lot of time to get across a little information, or to make easy decisions that could be made via email or phone. As much as you can, minimize the number of meetings you hold and attend. In some cases this might mean talking to your boss and telling her that you have other priorities, and asking to be excused. In other cases this might mean asking the people holding the meeting if you can get the info in other ways. If so, you've saved yourself an hour or so per meeting (sometimes more).

7) De clutter your schedule. If you have a heavily packed schedule, full of meetings and errands and tasks and projects and appointments, you're going to want to weed it out so that it's not so jam-packed. Find the stuff that's not so essential and cancel them. Postpone other stuff. Leave big blank spaces in your schedule.

8) Re-think your routine. Often we get stuck in a routine that's anything but what we really want our days to be like. Is there a better way of doing things? You're the creator of your life — make a new routine that's more pleasant, more optimal, more filled with things you love.

9) Cut back on email. I mentioned email in an earlier point above, regarding consolidating, but it's such a major part of most people's lives that it deserves special attention. How often do you check email? How much time do you spend composing emails? If you spend a major part of your work day on email, as many people do (and as I once did), you can free up a lot of time by reducing the time you spend in email. Now, this won't work for everyone, but it can work for many people: choose 2-3 key times during the day to process your inbox to empty, and keep your responses to 5 sentences.

10) Learn to say no. If you say "yes" to every request, you will never have any free time. Get super protective about your time, and say "no" to everything but the essential requests.

11) Keep your list to 3. When you make out your daily to-do list, just list the three Most Important Tasks you want to accomplish today. Don't make a laundry list of tasks, or you'll fill up all your free time. By keeping your task list small, but populated only by important tasks, you ensure that you are getting the important stuff done but not overloading yourself.

12)Do your Biggest Rock first. Of the three Most Important Tasks you choose for the day, pick the biggest one, or the one you're dreading most, and do that first. Otherwise you'll put that off as much as possible and fill your day with less important things. Don't allow yourself to check email until that Big Rock is taken care of. It starts your day with a sense of major accomplishment, and leaves you with a lot of free time the rest of the day, because the most important thing is already done.

13) Delegate. If you have subordinates or coworkers who can do a task or project, try to delegate it. Don't feel like you need to do everything yourself. If necessary, spend a little time training the person to whom you're delegating the task, but that little time spent training will pay off in a lot of time saved later. Delegating allows you to focus on the core tasks and projects you should be focusing on.

14) Cut out distractions. What is there around your workspace that distracts you from the task at hand? Sometimes it's visual clutter, or papers lying around that call for your attention and action, or email or IM notifiers on your computer that pop up at the wrong time, or the phone, or coworkers. See if you can eliminate as many of these as possible — the more you can focus, the more effective you'll be and the less time you'll waste. That equals time saved for the good stuff.

15) Disconnect. The biggest of distractions, for most people, is the Internet. My most productive times are when I'm disconnected from the grid. Now, I'm not saying you need to be disconnected all the time, but if you really want to be able to effectively complete tasks, disconnect your Internet so you can really focus. Set certain times of the day for connectivity, and only connect during those periods.

16) Outsource. If you can't delegate, see if you can outsource. With the Internet, we can connect with people from all over the world. I've outsourced many things, from small tasks to checking email to legal work to design and editing work and more. That allows me to focus on the things I'm best at, the things I love doing, and saves me a lot of time.

17) Make use of your mornings. I find that mornings are the absolute best times to schedule the things I really want to do. I run, read and write in the mornings — three of the four things on my Essentials List (spending time with family is the other thing on the list). Mornings are great because your day hasn't been filled with a bunch of unscheduled, demanding, last-minute tasks that will push back those Essentials. For example, if you schedule something for late afternoon, by the time late afternoon rolls around, you might have a dozen other things newly added to your to-do list, and you'll put off that late-afternoon Essential. Instead, schedule it for the morning, and it'll rarely (if ever) get pushed back.

18) The Golden Right-after-work Time. Other than mornings, I find the time just after work to be an incredible time for doing Essential things. Exercise, for example, is great in the 5-o'clock hour, as is spending time with family, or doing anything else relaxing.

19) Your evenings. The time before you go to bed is also golden, as it exists every single day, and it's usually completely yours to schedule. What do you want to do with this time? Read? Spend time with your kids? Work on a hobby you're passionate about? Take advantage of this time.

20) Lunch breaks. If the three golden times mentioned above don't work for you, lunch breaks are another good opportunity to schedule things. Some people like to exercise, or to take quiet times, during their lunch breaks. Others use this time to work on an important personal goal or project.

Cycle of Life!!!

2009-02-12T01:31:00.000-08:00

As we walk through the world, the people we encounter appear so different from one another. We see babies, old men, pregnant women, and teenaged boys. We know couples on the verge of marriage and lonely widows. We interact with toddlers and the terminally ill. As different as each person seems, they are all living the human experience. They are just at different places in the cycle that begins with birth and ends with death. Every phase of the cycle of life has its gifts and its challenges. Each stage is temporary and ultimately gives way to a new phase. This ephemeral quality makes each phase precious, because it will never last.

One of the wonderful qualities possessed by babies and young children is that they are unaware that a cycle of life even exists. They simply are present to wherever they happen to be right now, and they don't give much thought to the past or future. Being around them reminds us of the joy that comes from living fully in the moment. On the opposite end of life's cycle are our elderly role models. They are a reminder that each phase of life should be treasured. Time does pass, and we all change and grow older.

Being aware of the cycle of life and our place in it makes us wiser. As we develop a true appreciation for the phase we are in, we can savor it more. A new mother going through a difficult time with her infant can more easily embrace her challenges because she knows that her child will grow up, and she will long for this time again. Difficult and challenging periods are inevitable, but – like everything that is a part of the cycle of life – they are temporary. When we are fully engaged with life, we get to savor and grow from each phase, and we are ready for the next one when it arrives. Fully embracing wherever you are in the cycle of life is the very essence to happiness.

The Art of Giving!!

2009-02-11T23:27:00.000-08:00

"Rivers do not drink their own water , nor do tree eat their own fruit , nor do rain clouds eat the grains reared by them. The wealth of the noble is used solely for the benefit of others?

Even after accepting that giving is good and that one must learn to give , several questions need to be answered.

The first question is when should one give ?

Yudhisthir asks a beggar seeking alms to come the next day. On this , Bhim rejoices , that Yudhisthir his brother , has conquered death! For he is sure that he will be around tomorrow to give. Yudhisthir gets the message. One does not know really whether one will be there tomorrow to give!

The time to give therefore is NOW.

The next question is 'how much to give ?

One recalls the famous incident from history. Rana Pratap was reeling after defeat from the Moghals. He had lost his army , he had lost his wealth , and most important he had lost hope , his will to fight. At that time in his darkest hour , his erstwhile minister Bhamasha came seeking him and placed his entire fortune at the disposal of Rana Pratap. With this , Rana Pratap raised an army and lived to fight another day.

The answer to this question how much to give is " Give as much as you can !

The next question is what to give ?

It is not only money that can be given. It could be a flower or even a smile.

It is not how much one gives but how one gives that really matters. When you give a smile to a stranger that may be the only good thing received by him in days and weeks!

"You can give anything but you must give with your heart !

One also needs answer to this question whom to give ?

Many times we avoid giving by finding fault with the person who is seeking. However , being judgmental and rejecting a person on the presumption that he may not be the most deserving is not justified.

" Give without being judgmental !

Next we have to answer 'How to give ?

Coming to the manner of giving , one has to ensure that the receiver does not feel humiliated , nor the giver feels proud by giving.

'Let not your left hand know what your right hand gives? Charity without publicity and fanfare , is the highest form of charity.

'Give quietly !

While giving let not the recipient feel small or humiliated. After all what we give never really belonged to us. We come to this world with nothing and will go with nothing. The thing gifted was only with us for a temporary period. Why then take pride in giving away something which really did not belong to us? Give with grace and with a feeling of gratitude.

What should one feel after giving ?

We all know the story of Eklavya. When Dronacharya asked him for his right thumb as "Guru Dakshina". He unhesitatingly cut off the thumb and gave it to Dronacharya.

There is a little known sequel to this story. Eklavya was asked whether he ever regretted the act of giving away his thumb when he was dying.

His reply was "Yes ! I regretted this only once in my life. It was when Pandavas were coming in to kill Dronacharya who was broken hearted on the false news of death of his son Ashwathama and had stopped fighting. It was then that I regretted the loss of my thumb. If the thumb was there , no one could have dared hurt my Guru?

The message to us is clear.

Give and never regret giving !

And the last question is

' How much should we provide for our heirs ?

Ask yourself , 'Are we taking away from them the "gift of work?- a source of happiness!' The answer is given by Warren Buffett:

"Leave your kids enough to do anything , but not enough to do nothing !

I would conclude by saying: let us learn the Art of Giving , and quoting Sant Kabir:

"When the wealth in the house increases , When water fills a boat , Throw them out with both hands !

This is the wise thing to do!

The Taittiriyo Upanishad SIkshAvalli is full of sound instructions. Among the numerous dicta are to be found guidelines on how to Give.

"ShraddhayA dEyam, ashraddhayA dEyam, ShriyA dEyam, HriyA dEyam, BhiyA dEyam, samvidA dEyam" says the Upainishad, enumerating the characteristics of charity."

"ShraddhayA dEyam" All charity is to be done with sincerity and good intention, the underlying motive being an urge to be of help to the receiver. Thus giving, with the aim of receiving something in return, is not charity. Giving is also to be done with grace, and in a way that is not embarrassing or insulting to the receiver. The giver should not flaunt his wealth, nor should he remind the recipient of his poverty. Usually, the act of giving puts the giver's hand uppermost and the receiver's, on a lower plane. However, it is said that KarNA, to save the receiver the ignominy of stretching his hand lower, held his palms joined together, and requested the recipient to take the gold coins therein, thus ceding the upper position to the receiver.

"ashraddhayA dEyam" Once we decide to give away a particular article, its value or magnificence should not bother us, and we should give whole-heartedly, having scant regard to the item's worth. Parting with a possession with reluctance does not qualify as charity. This mantra is also interpreted differently-"ashraddhayA adEyam"- do not give without shraddha or sincerity and good intention.

"ShriyA dEyam" In a miser, the very thought of charity would induce sorrow, dismay and distress. One should give with a benign disposition, with a smile on one's face, with happiness induced by the opportunity to be of use to a fellow human being.

"HriyA dEyam" Keeping in mind the conduct of the great philanthropists of the past, the inadequacy of one's own aid and the greatness of the receiver, one should be ashamed of one's attempts at charity. This is prescribed so that one doesn't tend to think too much of oneself for the act of kindness.

"BhiyA dEyam" If the act of charity is not done in the prescribed fashion, and is contaminated by either insincerity, pride or highhandedness, then it is likely to prove counter-productive. A healthy apprehension of counter-productivity due to incorrect attitude or procedure, should characterize an act of charity, so that the giver would always be on guard against attitudes incompatible with giving. Hence the Upanishad says, "Give with fear".

"SamvidA dEyam" The act of giving should be preceded by a resolution to give. Such resolution makes the mind determined in the act, and prevents last-minute reversal of attitude due to attachment in the article proposed to be given away. And once we resolve to give, it should be implemented immediately, for, the mind is fickle. And given the time and chance to think logically, we would probably come to the conclusion that the amount proposed to be donated is too high or the cause unworthy. So, once we decide to give, we must give immediately. MahAbali Chakravarty is a shining example in this regard.